


Our Time in the Sun

by mer_maider



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Meihem - Freeform, One Shot Collection, Romance, Shameless Smut, junkmei
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:38:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 66,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9100741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mer_maider/pseuds/mer_maider
Summary: She's cold and he burns. Sometimes first impressions are wrong and sometimes opposites attract. Sequel to Australian Kisses and also a collection of Meihem one shots.





	1. The Drumroll

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is the anticipated sequel to my other Meihem one shot [Australian Kisses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308162) . Most of the chapters will all be different, but I'll let you know which ones are set in this particular timeline. Warnings may change in the future. 
> 
> Summary: She's having a hard time forgetting about the last time he was in her room, and all he wants is to knock on her door again.

_Don’t make a left, don’t make a left, don’t make a left_.

The sound of her snow boots thumped along the floor as Mei walked casually down the halls of the Watchpoint. Her hair was pinned up as usual and her big coat was tied around her hips underneath a plain gray t-shirt, glasses set firmly on the bridge of her nose. Her cheeks were a bit pink from the winds outside and the bottoms of those boots were a bit dirty from the ground. She was about to take a break after working the morning away, hands set behind her back as her eyes tried to focus on the path to her quarters. She wanted to jot down a few notes, maybe take a quick shower. That’s all she wanted to do.

She didn’t want to make a left.

There it was, the doorway that would lead to stairs that would go down, down to a certain part of the Watchpoint that was the workstation for a certain duo who didn’t really fit in but somehow managed to all the same. All she needed to do was pass it, go straight to her room, straight to notes and the shower.

All she needed to do was _not_ make a left.

Four more steps and she would pass it. Three steps. She didn’t need to go down there. Why would she go down there? There were more important things to do, like work and notes and more work that would lead to more notes that would hopefully lead to a better planet. Her walk became slower, her mouth set into a firm line, her hands fisted behind her back. Two steps, and she could walk right past it. One step…

Mei somehow stopped, took a big breath. She turned her head left, looked at the stairs that would bring her right where she shouldn’t be going. Take the last step, she told herself. Why are you being weird? You have no business going down there.

 _Don’t make a left_.

But… why not make a left?

She’d been one step away from forgetting about that left. Why did the stairs have to be so easy for her to access? Why had she been staring at this doorway for days, wanting to go through it but somehow managing to pass it every other time?

You’re going to cause something, she scolded to herself, annoyed and curious all at the same time. You’re going to cause something here at your _very_ important job, and you’re going to mess everything up. What little you have now is going to be ruined.

But with every step she took, every stair that led her down after making that left, Mei heard less and less of herself.

The Watchpoint was large, but not big enough for everyone to have their own individual workspace that wasn’t the four walls of their own bedrooms. Those who did have a special private station were those who really needed it, like the med bay where Angela worked. The rest of them, those like Winston and herself, had to share.

But there was another one of them who needed their own area to work.

Mei went down the stairs, came to the platform that would lead her to a few more before she would reach ground level. On her way, she could hear the tinkering, the sparking, the puffs that sounded a little more dangerous than they should have. This area of the Watchpoint had been purposely converted into a lab, of sorts. A place where someone could play with dangerous things and keep everyone else safe. A place with an easy exit to the cliffs should someone need to quickly escape from a fire or collapsing roof.

A place where a man could happily build explosives.

_This was a bad idea._

As quietly as she could, Mei stepped onto the platform, moved further just until she could peek down and see him working away. As usual he was barely clothed, covered more in black soot than fabric. He seemed to have half of a frag in his living hand, a pair of pointy tweezers in his metal one. His amber eyes were incredibly focused and his bottom lip was pouted out in concentration as the tip of the tweezers reached in, fiddled with some part of the bomb he determined needed fixing. Mei thought maybe it would be safer if he switched hands so the frag wasn’t in the only one he had left.

But then she remembered he’d lost his dominant hand. He’d told her that the night he… knocked on her door.

 _I shouldn’t have made a left_.

It had been a week since the night she’d learned the term _Australian kiss_. A full seven days since she’d experienced it too, and the mouth responsible for that experience, the one who’d proudly told her that only Australian’s could give the best Australian kisses, was down there tinkering away with a very dangerous little orb in his only hand. Things had heated up between them, gotten a bit out of hand when a careless act between friends quickly turned into a fight to get the rest of their clothes off. It should’ve been just a kiss. It should’ve been just _light and casual_ , as he’d called it.

It _shouldn’t_ have been so hot, and Mei knew she _shouldn’t_ have been thinking about it for the last week.

They’d been interrupted for a _reason_ , she tried one last time to reason with herself. Sure, they were friends now after a rough start and sure they were fighting the same fight and living in the same bases and sure, she’d allowed him _once_ to perform a sexual act on her because they’d been bored and she’d been curious and he’d been offering. But that didn’t mean it needed to go further. That didn’t mean she needed to be down here, wondering what he was up to after a week.

_Wondering why he hadn’t knocked again._

That didn’t mean he needed to be in her head, making her remember the whole thing every night when she was alone in her bed. All alone. By herself.

_Ugh._

Jamison Fawkes was in her head, she thought, watching him work and listening to the soft giggle he made when he fixed whatever problem that had been inside the frag. He was in her head, and she didn’t know how to get him out, just like how he’d walked right out of her bedroom with her in her panties.

How was she going to get him out? Being down here, sauntering past the doorway to his work station every day for the last week, certainly wasn’t going to fix it.

But… leaving wasn’t what she wanted either.

It felt like staring at something very pointy, and that desire to touch, to find out if it was really that sharp or not as sharp as it appeared, was all you could think about. There was a possibility that you would cut yourself and bleed, or be perfectly fine after you felt the point and calmed that aching desire.

_But do you touch it, or do you walk away out of hesitation?_

Feeling frustrated, Mei turned around so she was facing away from him, unable to look at him so she could think clearly, even though thinking clearly had been a bit difficult when he was nowhere to be found and _certainly_ not in her bed. She needed to take a moment, really decide whether or not she should be down here, obviously wanting to talk to him. There was a part of her that felt like she _needed_ to talk to him, to maybe clear the air between them and make sure that one kiss had meant nothing; that it was just something certain friends did sometimes with permission. Maybe that was her problem, she thought, nodding to herself. Maybe she felt awkward, and talking to him would make it all go away.

_Didn’t think it would be me getting between these legs?_

He’d playfully said that to her that night, and the question was an understandable one, they both knew it. Jamison Fawkes was the very last person who worked within the recalled Overwatch that should’ve ended up in her bed. There were other options, options that certainly made more sense. But he was the first one to show interest, the first one in a very _long_ time to give her pleasure.

A decade had gone by in the ice.

Okay, she thought, taking another breath, a lung-full of what smelled like gas and something burning. She tried not to cough and willed herself not to be awkward, to be _light and casual_ , and kick him out of her head so she could go back to work. It was one time and she could get past it. She’d done a fine job getting past it with her other lovers, and Jamison was no different.

Or maybe… maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe two weeks would be better. Maybe he would pick on her and know _exactly_ why she was down here. She shivered a little.

_Oh God, why was she down here?_

“Z’at you, Mei?”

She squealed a little and jumped, spinning around quickly with a hammering heart. Her glasses fell down her nose a little, brown eyes behind them wide and mortified. Jamie was still in front of his workbench, frag in hand, glancing over at her with puzzled golden eyes and a tilted head.

No time to plan anything now, she thought, hating herself. She would just have to be cool. Light and casual. If she could let him into her room then she could have a nice adult conversation with him. And hope that whatever it was she’d been feeling this last week would go away.

Her work was too important. Overwatch needed her in top shape.

Composing herself, Mei pushed her glasses back up. “Hi,” she called over, lifting a hand to give a silly little wave. She quickly stepped further onto the platform so it no longer looked like she was hiding from him. “Yes, it’s me.”

His smile went big. Not a knowing, sinister smile, like what she’d feared. In fact, he looked like a puppy greeting his returning owner. “Tryin’ to keep me reflexes sharp? Make sure I’m spry and _frosty_?” His nose crinkled up as he giggled at the pun.

She gave a soft laugh under her breath. Everyone on the team knew that if they gave his jokes too much attention, he would never stop whenever he saw the culprit who’d laughed. “I guess so, but I think no one should be sneaking up on you when you have a bomb in your hand.”

The smile vanished and his eyes snapped onto the frag. “Oh, shit, pardon me. Didn’t know I was gonna have a lady down here.” He tinkered with it a bit more – maybe defusing it? – and set it off to the side on his very cluttered workbench. He hastily pushed more things away in an attempt to clean up.

Forcing confidence, Mei walked over to the few stairs that would bring her level with him. “Don’t you think it’s very unsafe for you to be holding that bomb with the only hand you have left?”

Tools and other objects he needed for his work started tilting over or falling right off the table from the other side, but he didn’t seem to notice. “No room for fear when a genius is at work, Mei. Just making sure that little guy wasn’t a dud. Wouldn’t be very helpful if I had to rescue you from some big bloke with frags that wouldn’t blow him up, eh?”

Rescuing her? Mei knew she could take care of herself, and Junkrat wasn’t the rescuing kind. He was only here for his expertise in bombs and other explosives. If she got into trouble, he would be nowhere to be found because his place was in the back with a detonator in hand and a trap set up behind him.

“So what brings you down to the slums of Overwatch, huh?” When he deemed his workspace fit enough, Jamie turned to her and lifted a brow. “Why’re you still so far away? Nothing’s gonna blow, I promise. Am I on fire again?” His hands instantly went to his hair, smoothing it back in case there were active flames on the ends. It always amazed her how completely unafraid of burns he was.

Not wanting to appear foolish, Mei took the rest of the stairs and stood by him, hands behind her back again. Up, up, up she had to look. He was so tall, even with her snow boots on her feet. “I decided to take a break after testing some modifications that were made to the blaster. I’m hoping for a better number in the future, but the ice wall is now twenty percent stronger.” It was better to talk about work, she thought, than the personal stuff. Even though she really wanted to talk about that personal stuff. “I scheduled time with Fareeha for a field test. Her rockets don’t damage the wall as quickly as they used to, so the changes were successful.”

“What?” He seemed to flinch back as if horribly offended. Nothing on his face told her he was joking around. “That’s quite a shame. How could you come down here and say that to me face, Mei? I’m all torn up inside now.”

She blinked behind her glasses. “Excuse me?”

“Rockets,” he muttered, carelessly grabbing a screwdriver and his frag launcher. “You need someone to help you with weapons and you go to _Robo Cop_? I’ll tell you God’s truth, love, there ain’t no precise _pointing and shooting_ when you’re really gonna need that wall and all its fancy modifications. What that twenty percent needs is some mayhem,” he said grandly, but his grin quickly fell again. “Aiming’s overrated. _Rockets_ are for the uncreative and they are so _impersonal_. Shoulda had some _real_ firepower… but ya didn’t come ask _me_ now, did you?”

Oh, Mei thought, watching as he fiddled with his launcher, purposely keeping his back to her. “Are you upset that I didn’t… schedule time with you instead?”

He gave a shrug. “I ain’t sayin’ a thing.”

Well then, she thought, she would just drop it. She took a couple of steps, got a little closer to him before she was standing right next to him, watching him work on his weapon. He didn’t seem to mind or inch away. Such a mess, she saw, looking at all the odd little things on his desk. A few used up black markers, an empty tin can that appeared to have been cut along the edges, a dwindling roll of duct tape. What did a bomb expert need with duct tape? But beneath all the clutter, Mei spotted pieces of paper lying flat on the tabletop. Peering closer, she saw that they were plans, ones with scratchy handwriting and little drawings made probably with one of the markers thrown about. Some were of weapons plans, one was of the RIP-tire, another blueprints for some building or base.

Mei pushed back a few tools so she could see more. “Did you do these?”

“Course I did,” Jamie told her casually. “All this stuff is mine, no matter what Roadie says. I pay for it all, including him.”

“Jamison, if you need reports or any other paperwork, all of that can be available to you in… a much more appropriate form. That’s why we have Athena.”

“Don’t need no _computers_ , don’t need no _bots_ assisting me,” he told her firmly. Mei sighed; she’d forgotten about certain beliefs of his. “Me and Roadie… We were on a crime spree once upon a time, before Morrison came to have a _chat_. We met a lotta people, stole a lotta goodies, and set our eyes on heavily armed treasure troves that other criminals can only dream of. Know how we did all that?” he asked, turning to look down at her. He then set one metal finger down onto his plans. “Paper may be grimy and me writin’ may not be the best, but my plans get us in and out and back home for a tucker.”

And this was how they did things, she thought, back in the Outback. There were no computers, no electronic pads or comms, hardly any technology of the kind. Jamison wasn’t reliant on a keyboard or even a computerized voice in the ceiling like the rest of them were. He thrived in his own way and used the tools available to him. Tools that had outlived even the collapse of a region.

It was… quite admirable.

Something caught her eye on the paper, a little drawing she instantly recognized. It seemed to be of… her, she saw, staring at the scratchy little drawing of a floating head on the paper. But it was of her, she could tell. There were her glasses on her face and a tinier circle on top of her head for her bun. He’d even attempted to draw her hairpin with a very small snowflake. Mei grinned when she realized that her head was right next to ones of both Jamison and Mako, but upon further inspection she discovered that there were little drawings of all of them. Angela had badly drawn angel wings, Jack had a straight line through his eyes, Hana had a… strange little face that made her look like a gremlin. He’d done quite a decent job with Lucio’s hair and Jesse’s hat.

This was how he kept track of everyone.

“I don’t think Hana would appreciate the way you’ve drawn her,” Mei mentioned playfully.

“You mean to tell me she don’t look like that all the time?”

She laughed softly and inspected the drawing again. “Perhaps her face only does this when she’s talking to you? That’s entirely possible.”

“No arguments here, her face does exactly that. But… don’t tell her about this, yeah? ‘Cause then she’ll stop talking to me and bringing me food and then I’ll hafta give her lots of attention and I really don’t wanna do that.”

Somehow Hana and Lucio had become his friends. All of Overwatch was wondering how to this very day. Mei glanced up at him. Her head was level with his shoulders. Very dirty, trim shoulders.

She could still feel them underneath her hands. Hot flesh her nails had sunk into.

_Even after a week she could remember._

“I didn’t know you would be so willing to help me with my work,” she said softly, moving her hands off of the workbench so she could squeeze them together under it. “Next time I’ll know to ask you instead to assist me. It would be very… intriguing to know how your weapons affect the modifications.”

His face changed then, and this was the one she assumed she would find coming down here. Knowing Jamison Fawkes, _smart_ Jamison Fawkes. The one she was scared she would be dealing with during the last week. His eyes had been excited by her visit before, pleased to entertain her as he tinkered away and listened to work talk. Now it was as if he’d lit a match in his eyes to a fuse that would head straight for an explosion. They were bright eyes, and their fire would consume her.

“Well now we both know I’m willing to help you with just about anything, yeah?”

Mei was a little stunned when she realized she wasn’t tensing up, not like before. The _last_ time he’d offered her something. But she didn’t want to make anything easy for him, not after his _absence_ in her life the last seven days. “Do we know that?”

“Are you blind, snowflake?” he asked, lifting a blonde brow. “Well… maybe, considering your specks, but you know what I mean. Can’t say I don’t at least try to help you out. Sometimes you let me and I must say I do a _very_ good job of it.”

She perked up then. What did _that_ mean? she wondered. “You’re obviously not as available as you think. If I remember my week correctly, I’ve barely seen you.”

“I got me things to do, people to see, a big lug to keep track of in this shiny palace.”

“Mako has to keep track of _you_ , Jamison, and you just admitted that you’re avoiding me.”

He scoffed and turned to her, leaning on his elbow on the workbench and obviously brushing off her accusation. “I ain’t avoiding anyone. We just…purposely haven’t bumped into each other.”

“It’s the same thing,” she pressed, her head tilted up because of his height and her eyes igniting with a frustrated fire of her own. “I’m not _stupid_.”

“Let’s just cut to the damn chase, shall we?” he said, keeping his eyes right on hers, perfectly steady and oddly in control. He liked confrontation, he was all for it. Now was no different. “You didn’t come here for a break ‘cause we both know this _nest_ down here is the last place you’d want to put your feet up, even when you smell like the ocean and the rocks and the dirt and _rocket_ smoke. You came down here ‘cause you obviously have an issue about what happened in your room after cards, amiright?”

Why did he have to know things? Why couldn’t he be like every other young man his age and remain completely oblivious? No turning back now, she thought, and decided to get this done and over with so she could go back to her notes and get rid of all the smells he seemed to be picking up on her. “I don’t have an _issue_ ,” she began, hating that word because then it sounded like something it wasn’t. “You were avoiding me. Don’t tell me you weren’t, Jamison.”

He gave a careless shrug. “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t, eh? You woulda hated it if I’d been all in your face when I got back from the mission, or asked oh so politely if we could pick up where we left off. We were bored, you said yes, we had ourselves a good time. Good night, and see ya next week, quite literally.”

Mei frowned up at him when he started to giggle. “Stop joking around.”

“What more can I say, love?” he asked desperately after the big smile fell. He hunched dramatically. “If you’re pissed about something then let me have it. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“I’m upset because you said it was just going to be light and casual, no paybacks, no taking turns. Just _you and me_ , just a kiss, you said. And then the very next day you’re nowhere to be found, you act like it never happened, and that makes me wonder if it was all a mistake even though you _assured_ me that it wouldn’t be.” Mei closed her mouth. Somehow she couldn’t stop the words from coming out. Somehow she couldn’t deny anymore that they were all true. Maybe she hadn’t needed to talk about what happened. Maybe what she really wanted was to know why he handled it the way he had. Unable to look at him as she finished, she glanced down at his plans, at the little drawn head that was hers. “You avoided me, and I’m not used to being ignored when it comes to…” She sighed, not sure what to call anything anymore. “I’m used to being more open with the men I decide to become intimate with. If we hadn’t been interrupted, Jamison, would you still be acting like this? Would you still pretend nothing happened if you hadn’t needed to leave and we slept together? That makes me feel… I don’t like how that makes me feel.”

He seemed to need a moment to process her words and decide how he would answer her. _If_ he decided to answer her, she corrected grimly. It was hard for her to know exactly why his avoidance hurt her the way that it did. She’d faced tougher times, obviously, and of course she’d hated the feeling of being cast aside in the past after a night with one particular man when she’d been much younger. But she was older now and much wiser too. She was a survivor and she could survive this. For Pete’s sake, she’d even thought at the time that it was a _good_ thing they’d been interrupted.

Why was she bothered? Why had she said those things just now?

Why did she hate thinking that he could just _move on_ when that night in her room was all she could think about?

“Mei,” she heard him say, and his voice sounded different from before, deeper, softer. Like a little secret. She glanced up at him, saw that the fire in his eyes had dimmed. They looked the way they had when he’d hovered over her a week ago, just a breath away.

Right before she’d asked him to kiss her. The seconds right before he’d done exactly that.

_Warmth._

“You really think you aren’t in my head?” he asked quietly.

Her first instinct was to be glad he was _inconvenienced_ the way she’d been. But after taking her own silent moment, after waiting for the flustered pout on her face to fall, Mei fully grasped his words. She was in his head. But was she really?

“I don’t know how you think, Jamison,” she muttered. “I can’t get a handle on it.”

“But that’s what you think, isn’t it? I was tryin’ to give you space, just in case you bumped your head and suddenly realized that a guy like me shoulda never even laid a fingertip on a lady like you. I acted like it was some crazy dream because I figured that’s what you wanted. It _was_ just you and me, Mei,” he told her, hunching down even more so she would be forced to keep eye contact with him instead of looking away. “Just us, no team to fuss with, that’s what I said to you. I left you alone, gave you an out. And I haven’t been able to get you out of this frazzled head since I was _forced_ outta your bed by that damn, dirty ape.”

How could she have misjudged him? Mei wondered as she stared up at him. How could she have once thought that only mayhem and annihilation fluttered through his mind like bats in a dark, messy cave? He gave that impression, _preferred_ that impression for whatever his own personal reasons were. But his thoughts obviously ran deeper than fire and crumbling buildings and the sound of an explosion. What he told her now made sense.

It was a bit mortifying and confusing and overwhelming… but it made sense.

_He thought she was far too good for him._

“Well…” The word came out before she could think of anything else to pair it with. ”Good. I mean… Fine then. I guess… that settles that.”

He only grinned down at her. “Misery loves company, eh? That’s what this is all about.”

“I’m not miserable.”

“Well I sure am,” he said, looking rather smug, looking _comfortable_ so close to her. He’d definitely looked miserable when he’d hobbled out of her room with an erection after falling off of her bed. “What a little temper you got there, snowflake. It’s like I’ve gone back home to Oz.”

She should move away, give them both more space. There was plenty of it. And she would move away, right after she argued with him once again. “No one would agree with you on that temper. I’m exceptionally pleasant.”

“Suppose that makes me the one lucky enough to know the real you, eh? Been that way the first day you laid eyes on me chipper face. Can’t hide from these peepers, love, I see ya and that blizzard inside you cover up with your sweet big browns.”

A blizzard inside, she pondered. Some days it really did feel that way. Especially after two junkers joined her team. But the blizzard somehow wasn’t strong enough to warrant a glare or a scoff. Instead, Mei laughed softly with a shake of her head. “You’re impossible.”

He was warm, she could feel it, feel _him_. That same warmth that had filled her room when he’d flicked cards at her and told her she wasn’t the innocent snow fairy everyone assumed her to be, an assumption that sometimes frustrated her. But he was quick to understand her frustrations. Probably because she’d made so many assumptions of her own when it had come to him. The world was a cold place.

 _But he ran hot_.

“You know,” he started softly, keeping his voice low. “There’s a good possibility that I’m wrong about everything I said before. Wouldn’t be the first time, definitely not. It’s likely that you didn’t come down here to talk. I think me brain is cookin’ up an entirely different reason why I’m staring at you now.”

She had to admit she was curious. She grew curious regularly when it came to him. “I’m sure you’re wrong, but tell me anyway.”

“I think… maybe the lady wants another kiss.”

Mei’s eyes went big as the memories invaded her brain of that night, after cards when she’d been cold and he’d been warm and she’d wanted to feel warm too. She could remember wanting to feel the Australian kiss from the Australian. She could remember the actual kiss, and how she’d shivered on top of her covers naked from the waist down and gripping the sheets with his head between her thighs.

She could remember thinking about all his kisses that night since then.

“Jamison,” she murmured, almost reprimanding him.

He grinned. “This is _exactly_ how it went last time. I’m willing if you are, darl, but what I mean to say now is… maybe I could kiss your mouth. It sure is asking me for it.”

Asking him? She wasn’t doing anything. But her head was tilted up and her eyes were on his and somehow someway one of them had moved just a little closer than before. “You shouldn’t say that, it’s very rude.”

He lifted a shoulder. Not that she saw it, she was too busy seeing the yellow floating around in his eyes. Like little embers. “Before I was crude and now I’m rude. Anything else you wanna say to me? Or should I just… reacquaint myself with these lips?”

Her chin was up now, practically staring up at the sky. His warmth consumed her and it felt nice and the embers coming out of his eyes were landing on her shoulders and giving her a little more heat. She didn’t realize till then that he was standing up fully, hovering over her and moving down the more she tried to move up to meet him. Kissing him in her bed before had been naughty and secretive and stunning and… yummy. Yummy kisses, exactly the kind that people imagine when all alone under the covers in their cold bedrooms.

One more kiss, and then she could be done. No more thinking, no more wondering, no more agonizing.

Just… something hot and yummy.

“I don’t think I should be kissing you,” Mei whispered, and another thing she realized was that he was barely an inch away. “Too many kisses already. Last time we almost…”

“Almost…?” Jamie moved, just a little and probably unaware he was even doing it. His robotic hand came around, metal fingertips seeking out the edge of the workbench while the other was planted firmly on the other side of her. So much heat fighting against the cold, clashing. He fought against it. “Don’t think I should be kissing you either, love. But _almost_ won’t leave me alone.”

One more kiss, she thought, the edge of the workbench now digging into her back. Mei reached up, just like on that night where _almost_ had happened, cupped the side of his face with one hand, his shoulder with the other. A big gust of those embers seemed to flare up in his eyes as soon as she touched him.

“Stop talking,” she whispered.

Explosions in her head when he gave a breathless laugh. The crash of machines when he leaned down to close the gap. The steady drums of a marching band ringing in her ears when their mouths opened and touched. Already she could taste him, feel him again – that tongue, those lips, those hands gripping her desperately - in three… two… one…

“Jamison.”

Jamie shot up and spun around with a blazing fury in his eyes, and Mei instantly took her hands off of him and backed away, flustered now.

Mako stood on the platform, eyes of the pig mask just soulless black pools. He waited there almost casually, seemingly unaffected that he’d caused quite the interruption. First Winston, now the largest junker. Who was next to ruin everything?

They’d been interrupted. _Again_.

“You got to be _fucking_ kidding me, mate,” Jamie hissed up at him.

Roadhog only grunted. “We have to go.”

“Bugger off, Roadie, we were in the middle of something!”

“I’m sorry,” Mei began, holding up her hands as her snow boots padded away from both of them. “I’ll just… leave you two alone. I have notes and… Okay, bye.”

“No.” Mako lifted one giant hand to stop her. “We’re leaving. All of us. Mission time.”

A mission. No time for kissing, time for work instead.

 _For all of them_.

Mei scurried off and told herself she ignored Jamison’s frustrated berating behind her even as he geared up. Her face felt hot, not the same warmth as before, but the embarrassed kind. Certainly Mako had seen them the way that they’d been; Jamie pressing her against his workbench, leaning down close to her, her own hands on him, and their mouths almost fused. _Almost_.

Why was it always _almost_ with him? Almost hating him before he’d changed her mind, almost kissing him, almost sleeping with him. Almost regretting everything she’d started with him only to have it consume her, her mind, her body.

Why did they get to a certain point… only to be separated by whoever would call for them in that same moment?

This close, she thought, imagining the distance of a mere inch. This close, and then miles between them.

Mei distracted herself by gearing up for the mission ahead. No time for notes or even a shower, she would have to climb into the plane as is. She untied her coat from her hips, shrugged it on and grabbed her blaster to holster. She checked the settings as she made her way to the craft, passing the others like Jesse who was adjusting his hat on his head and Lucio who was skating around a belly laughing Reinhardt.

Her cheeks were hot, she could feel it. And her heart was beating against her ribs hard enough to make her pant.

She needed a moment, she told herself. Just a quick moment before she became the soldier Overwatch, and the world, needed her to be. No time for fooling around with a junker; only safety and preservation mattered. She found a corner in the hall, leaned against it to catch her breath. She spotted a window right next to her and turned to it to see her reflection. Frazzled, she saw, sighing and determined to make it go away. Her hands were now gloved but she lifted them to fix her hair, to re-do her bun and make sure all runaway strands would be out of her face. She slid her snowflake pin in place, turned.

Squeaked when she saw Jamie standing right in front of her, RIP-tire on his back and bombs strapped to his chest.

“Jamison,” she breathed, placing a hand over her heart. Was she so jumbled up that she couldn’t even hear a man with one leg approaching her? “Get on the plane, go on. You’re always the last one.”

“Just makin’ sure you’re right as rain, love,” he said. His voice was light but his eyes looked searching. Searching for something in her. “They’re hauling in Hana’s mech now, we got a moment or two before they hoot and holler at me. You look…”

She glanced up at him. “I look how?”

“You look…” He tilted his head, and his face went smug. “Hot and bothered.”

She didn’t know how to answer him because he was absolutely right. “This isn’t working out. Every time we… We should just stop. Maybe it’s not meant to be.”

He seemed to go from smug to frustrated in a split second and waved a hand at her. “Don’t say that, it’s just the wrong place at the wrong time. Good thing for us that there’re a bunch of times and places all throughout the day, yeah? Like here. Like right now.”

Her stomach flipped down below. Here and now. Here and now when they were all alone in a dark corner, away from everyone once more. Hot and bothered, he’d said, and she sure felt it, felt it rise up her body like more heat, like pure fire flowing through her veins. Her mind clouded and it seemed his did too. Here and now, right here against the wall. She could make this go away instantly, it would only take one time.

She watched his eyes as they drifted down to her mouth, hungry, blazing eyes that needed to take a bite out of her.

 _She could hear the drums again_.

Barely thinking, Mei lifted her gloved hands up to him even as he moved his leg forward to remove the distance between them. Her mouth, the one he could hardly take his eyes off of, opened on a gasp and to feast on him at the same time.

“There you are!”

This time they didn’t get even to touch.

Jamie stepped back because she was against the wall and had nowhere to go. Not thinking entirely clearly, both hands fisted and he growled with frustration as Angela’s heels clicked along the floor when approaching them.

“What _is it with you people_?” he groaned through clenched teeth.

Angela, looking stunning in her angel armor as always, smiled brightly at both of them, staff in hand. “Onto the plane now, the both of you. I’ll be right beside you.”

Jamie’s eyes were wide and full of furious fire as he stared at the doctor. “I need to put a fucking bell on all of you.”

Angela liked everyone. The junkers were not excluded from that. In fact, she thought they were very entertaining, and very useful to their team. “Watch your language, Mr. Fawkes, and mind that leg. How does it feel for you today? I shall give you a boost.”

His arms flew up dramatically. “You people need to leave me the hell alone! And this leg is just fine, angel face, now go away.”

As Angela checked him over, Mei caught his eyes as she backed away from the wall. She gave him a rueful smile and shook her head. “Not meant to be,” she mouthed, and it made his flustered face fall.

She couldn’t worry about it. Everything all around them was telling them they shouldn’t start anything. She needed to listen to it because being here, doing their work, was far too important. The drums needed to stop and stay quiet. The warmth was probably too hot, and would burn her badly.

Mei climbed onto the plane, hearing the _stomp-click-stomp-click_ of Jamie’s footsteps behind her. “Stop pointing that thing at me!” she heard him shout at Angela. “Little shit cunts, all of you. Especially you!”

McCree only shrugged when everyone looked to him, wondering what he could have possibly done to the junker, and took a puff of his cigar.

Not meant to be, Mei told herself again when taking a seat next to Jesse. She would get over it soon.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

She’d frozen their enemies so that Reinhardt could take them all out with one big swing of his hammer. She’d sent flying icicles into their backs to knock them off of their feet so that Ana could put them to sleep and they could pass on through. And she’d used the ice wall with its modifications to protect the rest of them while Fareeha sent her barrage of rockets onto those with heavier firepower. The mission was successful and had gone well. Overwatch helped free of a lot people held captive by some who hoped to rival Talon. They hadn’t stood a chance.

Especially not with a madman up in the rafters raining frags and traps down on them and laughing hysterically the entire time.

He was a handful… but Jamison Fawkes and his bodyguard were quite the additions to their team.

Reinhardt and a few others were tending to very minor injuries, but Mei had remained unscathed with the help of her wall and his shield protecting her and Angela. When they finally returned to the Watchpoint hours later, and after unloading all the equipment and writing their reports for Morrison which took another two, Mei got to take her shower and climb into her bed after turning on the snowy lights on the headboard above.

She liked to be comfortable at night for sleep; socks, fuzzy pants, comfy sweaters, maybe even one of her silk nightgowns for the summer weather if she happened to be somewhere warm. After drying off she pulled on a simple blue tank and clean panties, sat at her desk for a moment or two to give her notes a bit of attention. There was no energy left for socks or even pants, so Mei fell into her bed with damp hair, her glasses still on her face and forgotten.

She dreamed of joyful laughter coming from the rafters and if it was worth the climb to go up there so she could laugh too. If it was even safe.

_Not meant to be._

Mei jolted up in her bed at the sound of knocking, fast, impatient knocking. She rubbed her eyes under her glasses, glanced at the clock. She’d been asleep for about two hours and now it was past midnight. Who could possibly be knocking on her door at such a time?

She rolled out of bed, still a little too sleepy to consider the distant déjà vu.

Whoever it was, she wouldn’t open the door wide enough or let them in. She wasn’t wearing a bra and hadn’t bothered with pants, so she would give whoever it was an answer to whatever they desperately needed to ask her and go back to bed. Mei pressed a button on her door’s small computer pad, heard the faint hissing as it unlocked and slid open just as far as she would allow it to.

Whatever sleepiness she’d been feeling a split second before vanished when she blinked up at Jamie.

There was only about five inches of open door to peer through, and he respected it. He stood there, his lanky body wearing only his prosthetics and a pair of black sweatpants riding low on his toned hips, but those were all details she absently picked up on. What she noticed first, _instantly_ , was the sparkling embers in his eyes that continued to dance since their denied closeness earlier. And he was clean.

 _He was clean_.

It seemed he could only stare at her with those flaming eyes, but when she couldn’t seem to speak either, he decided that it was him who needed to say the first word. A little awkwardly, he lifted his metal hand and scratched at his hair. His _clean_ hair that looked soft and fluffy instead of smoke stained and lit.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he seemed to grumble, keeping his hand on his head. “Well… I guess I did. I couldn’t sleep. I—“ His voice drowned out and he shifted on his foot and peg. “I can’t sleep most nights. I figure most of you lot can’t either, so I came to keep you company.”

Mei didn’t know what to say. She wanted to close the door, to open it, to lean closer to him and also back far away. Her mind and her body were all scrambled up, and all she could manage to say was, “I was sleeping.”

“I know,” he answered quickly, arms falling and back going rigid. “I mean… I see that now. Everyone else is asleep too. ‘Cept me. ‘Cept you.”

Everyone was asleep, she mused, picturing them all tucked away under their covers, eyes closed, nowhere near her. She stayed half behind the door even though he’d already seen her in her panties, had even slid them off of her once before. Her heart started to flutter at the memory and her skin started to warm. Everyone was asleep. No one else was there around them.

_Just you and me._

He’d said that he couldn’t get her out of his head, that he didn’t want to hear how something wasn’t meant to be. Obviously he wanted her, and maybe it was messing with him a little more than he originally thought. Here he was now, _clean_ and denied her body three times because of everyone else around them, unable to sleep.

He was the one now to make that doomed left to her door.

Jamie sighed deeply, hunched a bit as he came a little closer, wanting to be near her but not invading the space she kept between them. His voice was soft when he spoke, gentle.

Maybe even a little miserable.

“Mei… let me in, yeah? Like last time. If you want to,” he added, leaning the side of his head against the doorframe, eyes right on hers as they’d been since she opened the door. “But I don’t have any cards tonight.”

No cards. When they’d been in her bed, it had started with an innocent game of cards on a boring night that had turned into something steamy and hot and _so good_. He needed her to know that there wouldn’t be cards if she opened the door to him. Only something steamy and hot and so very, _very good_.

They were both miserable since that night, kept from repeating it time after time after time by those around them. It wasn’t meant to be, she reminded herself. It was like the universe was purposely keeping them from each other at every turn, and maybe they should heed the warning, if _warning_ was even the correct word. Usually she listened to things like that. Usually she had a better head on her shoulders and made precise, adult decisions for herself that would get her from A to B. This man was _impossible_ , in every way.

But she wanted him. Somehow, someway…

_Just you and me._

“This might be a bad idea,” she whispered, as if someone would hear. As if someone would disapprove, and ruin things once again.

He gave her a half grin and simply said, “I know.”

Mei sucked in a breath, closed the door just far enough so that her fingers were still out on the other side through the slit. She needed a moment, always when with him did she need a moment because being with him…

It set her on fire.

She set her forehead against the door, felt the heat coming from the other side that wasn’t really there, just the sensation she experienced when he was near her. She needed to think but she couldn’t think, not when he was so close by, not when she could feel such warmth that made all the cold go away. She couldn’t think, not one bit.

But she could feel, and she felt the soft brush of one of his living fingertips as they trailed down her own from the other side. She’d lived in the cold for a decade with no way out.

All she wanted now was the heat.

Mei had the door open completely and instantly he barged through, those eyes an inferno and filling her bedroom with flickering flames. Without waiting a second longer, without waiting for someone else to call for them, Mei jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his came around her waist to catch her.

Her mouth fused to his. Too many times she’d been denied, and now she would take everything kept from her.

Jamie answered her with equal desperation. He stumbled a bit against the doorframe - it was a little difficult for him to balance on his one leg, hold her, and kiss her the way he wanted to kiss her all at the same time – but he still managed to lift her up level with him and clumsily feel for the computer pad behind him so he could get the door closed and get her naked. He smashed a few buttons, somehow got the right one, and leaned against the now closed door as Mei took his face in her hands and opened her sweet mouth.

Just like before, she thought, sighing against him when their tongues touched and tasted. It was just like before when he’d been in her bed, hovering above her and feasting on her mouth like a thirsty man. They hadn’t seemed to think then either and it had been good, so good that she’d tried to get to his cock, to free him so he could easily slip inside her after he’d already made her come once. She wanted that again, wanted to finish what had been started between them.

It might be a bad idea, but he’d somehow survived each and every one of his bad ideas.

Jamie’s hands cupped the plush cheeks of her ass after getting his balance back. He could feel mostly flesh but her panties were, once again, in the way. They ate at each other’s mouths, wet, sloppy kisses like before that seemed fitting for them, the explosion in him fusing with the blizzard in her. Their lips smacked apart but instantly he went in again, getting her mouth nice and wide so he could taste all of her as he moved his foot forward to her bed.

She didn’t seem to want to be dropped and he wasn’t too keen on letting her go; her legs and arms gripped around him and his fingertips sunk into her flesh to keep her flush against him. Instead of placing her on the bed and separating their holds on each other, Jamie lifted a knee, placed it securely before heaving the other up and making the peg bend underneath his body. They weren’t letting go now, not after all the earlier attempts that had failed and failed again. Mei was in his lap now, his hands running up her back to cup her shoulders before sliding back down – the right careful not to press as hard and hurt her. His left hand came around to her stomach to touch her, every inch he wanted to feel, before slipping down between her legs and cupping her.

His quickness was appreciated; she needed quick, needed fast and hard and breathless. _Straight to the point_ was what she craved, and so, apparently, did he. Mei inhaled sharply, exhaled slowly and sweetly, her head tilted up to him as she shivered from the instant rubbing over her panties of his flesh hand and the soft sinking of his teeth on her lower lip. She kept one arm hooked around his neck, the other reaching for his wrist, not to push away but to watch carefully as his black painted nails moved over her, finding her clit in an instant and pressing in.

His metal fingers sunk into her hair, gripped it and pulled her face back up to his so he could have her mouth again. “I remember,” he murmured between kisses, knowing exactly where to touch her, _how_ to touch her.

He didn’t remember much… but he seemed to remember her body.

Mei leaned back away from him only for a moment so he could reach under and pull her panties down her legs and to the floor. It was a bit difficult to touch him in return – he was always moving, always kissing, always distracting her with pleasure and she couldn’t, just _couldn’t_ get to him because he was busy, busy, busy. She could only feel brushes of his cock beneath the sweatpants enough to know he was already hard, but she couldn’t reach down and touch. Even now, even when her hands slid down his chest with the intension of jamming her hand down his sweatpants, did he lift her again and push forward to get her head on her pillow. He was over her now, settling between her legs, giving her no room to explore because now that busy mouth was on her neck, over her collar, her sternum.

“Jamie,” she whispered, and it was with a bit of frustration. She wanted to touch and taste too, dammit.

He suddenly lifted himself off of her on all fours, his flushed face glancing around her room. “How the fuck do you turn off all communications in here?”

An opening, she thought, her eyes dark with need, with that craved quickness. Mei grabbed him and rolled until he found himself on his back beneath her, blinking up at her with arms spread out helplessly.

Maybe to some she would’ve still looked adorable, still sweet, still tiny and innocent and soft.

But he said he could see the blizzard, and he most definitely saw it now. She couldn’t truly surprise him because he _knew_ what was inside her.

“Gonna rough me up some, darl?” he asked with a wicked grin. His heated amber eyes didn’t know what he wanted to look at more; her pretty eyes, her delicious rosebud mouth, those perfect tits. He wanted to look at everything at once, it seemed, every impeccable bit of her.

Mei answered him by leaning down, her hair falling around them like wavy brown curtains so she could kiss him again. She was tiny and soft and there were so many places on her he wanted to bite, to nibble on and get the taste of her in his mouth so he would always be sampling something yummy. His hands pushed between their bodies and finally he got them on her breasts. Mei shifted up only a little; his hands were big and his thumbs found her nipples over her tank. One couldn’t truly feel her, but it didn’t seem to matter, not when she sighed from the touch. It had been a long time since a man had touched her body like this – not counting when he’d last been in her bed - and an equally long time since she’d felt one inside her too.

She wanted that now. _Quick, fast, hard_.

One thing that hadn’t changed in a decade while she’d been frozen was the misconceptions of women and how they viewed their bodies. The world still made women believe that no matter how you looked or how you were shaped, there was always something that was _wrong_. Too big, too skinny, too muscular, too hairy, too tall or too short, and it was something she’d never understood. Even before the pod doors had closed, Mei had never felt ashamed of the way she was built. She knew her body was desirable and only her lovers would discover how confident in it she actually was.

Those around her saw only the _sweet_ and the _soft_ and the _shy,_ and she was. The few who were allowed in her bed would meet the _confident_ and the _sensual_.

But, Mei saw when she lifted herself up over him, when she brushed his hands away from her breasts so she could slowly pull her tank over her head and show him the rest of her, Jamie didn’t seem surprised by that confidence or that sensuality, like it was no secret to him. He’d seen a glimpse of it already.

He looked only… _mesmerized_ by her.

“Fuck, Mei, look at you,” he breathed, his eyes flaring again, like a log placed on a burning fire. She was worried his hair would ignite, the way he was staring at her. His right hand took her waist while the flesh and blood one explored; gripping her thigh, squeezing a breast, sliding his fingertips down the length of her hanging hair. If it were another time, perhaps she would have shivered and purred from being touched in the same way he touched his precious frags. Like something extremely important and perfect to him.

Not tonight, not now, when any moment someone could ruin this for her again. Right now all she wanted desperately was his cock and to come with him inside her.

Mei humored him when he sat up and made her arch her back so her tits would jut out and he could bury his face in them. She shook her hair back and reached right behind her bottom for his cock, biting her lip when she felt his probing tongue on her nipple, followed by his teeth that actually did make her shiver. Her hands slipped under his sweatpants – apparently he didn’t care for underwear - tugged them down as far as she could and finally she gripped him. Jamie growled against her breasts, his arms wrapped around her as he fell back with her, his leg shaking like a dog’s to get those damn pants off and away. His prosthetic squeaked as he kicked.

Now now, was all she could think, especially once they were both naked. Now, please, and she gasped softly when those teeth bit into her cleavage. Mei took the base of him, glanced behind to get a quick look before she sank down on him. Her dark brows rose and her big eyes blinked.

He was a lot bigger than she thought he would be. Or… a lot bigger than what was average.

Surprising, but absolutely welcome. The radiation of the Outback hadn’t stunted him anywhere else and it seemed his dick was no exception. She wasn’t discouraged and she would adjust. Focused now, she aimed the head of his cock, rocked her hips.

Jamie’s head fell back onto the pillow, his mouth falling open to let out a strangled, animal-like noise as she wiggled down on his cock. “Fuck me,” he uttered slowly, a guttural sound.

“I will,” she promised sweetly. She was wet – of course she was – but she just needed to loosen up. “I will, Jamie.”

“That’s not what I…” He stopped, grinning and letting out a breathless giggle. She felt that laughter inside her body. “Damn, snowflake, you drive me batshit bonkers, is what you do.”

Batshit bonkers, she mused, sitting up again and bracing her hands on his chest. He most certainly drove her crazy too, so far in every way a person could. Even like this, she thought, moving her hips some and making him moan beneath her as her hands brushed over old burns on his skin, rough patches that had obviously once been miserable gashes of marred flesh. Even now he was driving her crazy, and she didn’t know exactly why. Maybe it would go away after tonight.

_There is no team in here, just you and me._

Just them.

He was so big, she thought as rode him, staring down at him with her bangs in her face and his hands on her hips. He was pretty much the length of her bed and he laid there on her sea foam green pillow under the snowy lights above as if he’d been lying there forever, as if this was where he’d always slept. She liked pretty things like lace and bright colors and twinkly lights strung here and there, and even in her very feminine space did he look like he belonged. He was loud and excitable and normally so dirty, hardened from his rough life that seemed to match the skull inked on his shoulder. But somehow… he looked just as comfortable here as he did on a blanket under the stars or down in his filthy and dangerous workstation.

“You fuck good, love. I knew you would,” Jamie sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, his wicked grin easing into a goofy half smile as he relaxed into her mattress while her body rocked and her cunt squeezed. When she started to bounce a little faster, her cheeks going pink and those perfect little pants easing past her lips, the wickedness in him returned instantly like an inferno and he showed all his teeth. “This girl here,” he growled softly to himself, his living hand wandering between her legs palm up so her clit would brush against his fingertips as she moved. Mei tilted her hips some for more pressure, but he only kept them there for a moment before pulling his shiny fingers away and sliding them into his mouth. “Still sweet,” he said happily. “My turn now, baby, I’ll take ya for a ride.”

She didn’t care when he flipped them, leaving her breathless with how fast he turned and had her on her back. The thrill of him manhandling her zipped up her spine and pulsed through her cunt and left her head in a pleasurable fog. She’d finally gotten him inside her and now he would finish the job, and she was _definitely_ ready for that big finish, to feel what he’d made her feel with his sucking mouth and flicking tongue a week ago. He pushed his living arm under her head, cradling her close and getting her legs hooked around his slender waist. Mei had just enough time to shakily pull her glasses from her face and set them away – she didn’t want them to break – before he grounded himself and really started to pump with his endless energy.

He liked it fast, and _hard_.

Mei grabbed the sheets with one hand, sunk her nails into his back with the other. She sucked in sharp gasps, panted sweetly under him while he fucked her, surging forward and smacking her thighs and her ass with his thrusting hips. The snowy lights above her danced, these blurry little stars she realized were swinging around from the force of his body. He panted, grunted, moaned, hissed into her neck, being more vocal than any man she’d slept with in the past.

A loud one, she thought distantly. Of course he was.

She cursed in Mandarin, so close now, so, so close. She yelped softly, clutched at him, felt the bite of his teeth again as they sunk into her shoulder. Her breasts were crushed against his chest and at her hand that was fisted tight in the sheets she felt the coolness of metal. Mei looked over, her body bucking from his frantic thrusting, and saw his robotic hand slide its fingers through hers, and hold.

Her heart lurched in her chest, and she came around him, her cunt milking him and making him groan and gasp on her skin. She felt him empty inside her, thrusting still as he finished.

His breath hitched against her, his hips pressed on hers hard and his muscles tense beneath her hand, against her body. After a few moments of silence, he finally exhaled deeply and vocally before relaxing on top of her, his heart kicking against her own as if they were reaching for each other, trying their best to break free. Mei took his weight on her, although she couldn’t for very long; he was heavy and half of him was made of spare parts.

She couldn’t stop staring at their entwined hands.

Why did their joined hands feel so… different from their joined bodies? It was like before, when he’d been in her bed to give her a kiss, the two types. The Australian kiss had been great but the French kissing…

It remained in her head, as he had. As this image of their hands would too.

He was a furnace on her, and when he finally rolled off Mei felt a rush of cool air on her flushed body. The space around her suddenly went blurry now that a man wasn’t on top of her, so she reached for her glasses and placed them back over her eyes. There was the world again, the snowy lights above, the ceiling beyond. A clear picture. Everything was clear now.

_Shit._

“Jamison,” Mei began, then coughed to clear her throat when her voice sounded raspy and raw. “You didn’t… We didn’t use protection.”

He simply slid his living arm under his head and his voice sounded as careless as it did when he said _thank you_ in the field. “Little late to be wanting a rubber now, don’t you think?”

She went pale and made a soft little groan.

Jamie looked over at her and grinned. “No worries, love. Can’t knock you up even if I tried. Junkertown really fucks up the insides, including those little swimmin’ bastards.”

“I have all of that under control, Jamison, what I’m worried about is if anything could be… transmitted.”

“Oh.” His brows drew together, then something clicked into place. “Me and Roadie were looked over by Dr. Angie when Morrison shoved us into that damn clinic. A-okay on all counts there. She wanted tests for everything, especially all that baloo. Must think everyone’s fuckin’ each other.”

Mei took a sigh of relief. Not that she thought Jamison _wouldn’t_ say anything to her about disease, but sometimes people just didn’t know, especially when they’d been on the run for as long as the junkers had. “She was just taking precautions, I’m sure.” She glanced over at him, saw him once again perfectly comfortable lounging on top of her sheets naked. “I’m clean too… just so you’re aware.”

He chuckled, lifted his right leg to bend the peg. “Look at me, love. Half of me is blown to bits and the rest has a shitload of scratches and dents. That would be the least of my problems.”

Her heart did another lurch, but she quickly ignored it. With a flushed face and mussed hair, Mei took a corner of the sheets and covered herself up, only the middle of her, the intimate parts. It was late and she should have been sleeping to prepare for the following day that was actually today. Now she was like this.

Had she made a mistake? Would things be… awkward now?

Jamie didn’t seem to be worried at all. Not much worried him, and she wished she could take some of that and plant it in herself. He couldn’t sleep in here; she wasn’t sure she was ready for that now that she’d had sex with him. He seemed to read her loud and clear and he rolled out of her bed.

“Where the hell did me trousers go?” he asked, glancing around.

Mei sat up, holding the sheet against her breasts, and looked too. Her eyes spotted them and she couldn’t stop the laugh. “They’re attached to your leg.”

He looked down and sure enough there they were, a pair of black sweatpants hanging off the odds and ends that made up his prosthetic. He yanked them loose and shimmied into them, tugging the leg of his right up so he wouldn’t trip on it. The waistband hung low on his hips, as usual.

Something seemed to occur to him and his eyes instantly found hers. “You okay, love?”

Was she okay? Physically she felt wonderful, all loose and hot and sated. Emotionally… That was the tougher one. Just looking at him jumbled her up inside, even after she’d slept with him. She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m okay.”

“I meant what I said before. No one else’s business, what happened in here, I know how to keep me lips sealed sometimes. Just in case you start feeling… ashamed.”

Mei tilted her head. “I’m not ashamed. Why would I be?”

His face fell some and he looked away, down at his feet. Mei wondered by his expression if it was really Jamie who felt ashamed, and not in the same way.

Mei then remembered how he felt he wasn’t good enough for her.

“You know,” Jamie said then, interrupting anything she could’ve said to make him feel a little bit better. Maybe he wasn’t ready to hear it. Maybe he wouldn’t even believe her. “If you want… maybe we could make this a regular thing? We don’t gotta tell no one and I could come to your room when no one’s lookin’ or you could come to mine. We don’t gotta call each other anything and we just keep everything in here behind the door.” He shifted a little, scratched at his hair. It was different, she saw, studying him, for him to offer to give her a kiss or stumble into her room for a quick romp on her sheets that couldn’t seem to be helped. It was incredibly different, she realized, for him to ask her something like this, probably because there would be an equality.

Or maybe it was just with her who made him uncertain.

“You get tired, I can see it in your eyes sometimes,” he continued, slowly making his way around her bed in a hesitant kind of way. “And I know sometimes you’re a little lost here, like how I am. If ever you need to… _relax_ , like rub one out or something’,” he added, and it made her giggle softly. He was trying. “Then Junkrat can take care of ya. If you want. Nothing has to change out there, it would just be different…in here. We’d still be mates.”

Mei’s eyes softened as she looked at him. He had a hard time getting his words out and sometimes they came out harshly or inappropriately. But right now he was being very sweet. “You mean we would be…”

Jamie grinned and lifted a shoulder once he was on her side of the bed. “Mates who fuck.”

Did she want that? she asked herself. Did she want that complication? No matter how successful they were with sneaking around and no matter how good the sex had been and no matter if they were both okay with the way things were, it would still be a small complication. They worked together, they fought together. They could even die together.

That last thought seemed to click, like a snap going off inside her. She wanted him, he wanted her.

_They could die tomorrow._

Wasn’t that something they both understood well? She’d been locked in a pod for a decade, frozen in time while her colleagues died around her. He’d had his life taken from him by the selfishness of others paired with arrogance that had wiped out his home, destroyed his land, and forced him to be what he was today. Everything that had been for them was gone.

Except, it seemed, each other.

Mei thought that maybe he wouldn’t constantly be in her head if he was constantly in her bed. Then things like sweet, _hot_ kisses and his hand in hers wouldn’t make her feel like she didn’t know what to feel. Perhaps it would be _less_ complicated that way, using each other for pleasure while still remaining friends and teammates.

“Light and casual?” she asked lightly, and made her decision. Hopefully it would be a good one.

Jamie grinned big and eased down onto her bed next to her. Him and his clean hair and clean skin and bright eyes and his _warmth_. “Light and casual, love,” he affirmed, remembering their original agreement. “Just you and me.”

And the words were somehow comforting. Such simple words, and everything seemed like it would work out just fine.

“Just you and me,” she murmured.

He took the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss that became a little too steamy after a moment or two with that active tongue of his. Pushing him away playfully, Mei snuggled under the covers after removing her glasses, felt him give her butt a soft pat before he snuck out and retreated to his own bed.

“Light and causal,” she whispered again after she was alone and finally closing her eyes. “Just us.”

And although they were softer, the drums continued in her head and that warmth surrounded her.

It was nice.


	2. An Invisible Red Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'll do whatever it takes to keep him on his feet... even if it means losing him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a request on Tumblr for some make up sex and it turned into this. Enjoy.

“I don’t want to see her, mate.”

Noises. Some rustling, some skidding and a squeak, like dragging a chair over the floor or something wider and flatter. Or perhaps it was just a reluctant peg leg and a raggedy boot being pulled over tile. Noises were strange things when you couldn’t see what it was that was causing them. The mind could make up anything then, even something out of the ordinary or something the cause of the noise absolutely wasn’t. Buzzing could be anything, and maybe a bee or a bunch of flies are imagined when the eyes are closed. Instead, it could be a machine to cut you open; a harsh sound of pain or an innocent one of nature. When you can’t see, noises could be scary because they’re so unknown. The things that go bump in the night.

But Mei knew these particular noises. She knew them because she knew _him_.

“I told you I _ain’t_ going in there,” he hissed.

“Yes, you are.”

“And who in bleedin’ hell are you to tell me what to do? _I_ tell _you_ what to do, now get your meaty paws off me, ya _swine_.”

She heard slapping, rough housing, she thought, using Angela’s phrase. Those two were always rough housing, and sometimes it drove her up the wall because he just _couldn’t get it together_. He just flat out _refused_ to listen to orders and rules that were there to protect him, why was that so difficult for him to understand? It was why she had to do what she did, she reasoned. She had to keep him on the one foot he had left.

She had to keep him _safe_ , because so far he’d done a bad job of that himself.

It was… so important to keep hearing the maniacal laughter that went with the flickering of flames.

“Stop fighting me, Jamison, or I’ll break your one leg.”

“Piss off, Roadie, I… I don’t want to see her, I told you I don’t.”

“You’re being ridiculous. You’re being _rude_. What would she say if she could see you now? She’d dump your skinny ass in one flat second. Insensitive bastard.”

Things went quiet, and Mei didn’t like that. If she hard things she could paint a picture. They were always causing a ruckus. Don’t be quiet now, she pleaded. Don’t be quiet, I can’t see you, can’t imagine you, if you’re quiet. Being quiet was a bad thing when it came to him. It meant he couldn’t make noise because he couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe. It might as well mean he was dead.

She wanted to be able to hear him, always.

There, she thought, and if she could she would’ve sighed in relief. She heard footsteps and she knew they were his; they were so unique, just like the rest of him. They grew louder as he came closer, and more and more of that relief pounded into her like an angry wave, the refreshing coolness of the ocean he loved. He’s walking, she thought. He can still walk. On her right side she felt a presence, a shadow. Felt the heat that came with him, that familiar warmth. He was walking, he was standing up. He was _alive_.

She’d saved him.

“Why would you do that?” she heard him whisper down to her, a sadness, a gentleness in his voice he didn’t use often at all. She felt a bit of weight on the pillow under her head. His hand. She knew it was his hand, she could tell. And even if it was something impossible to hear, she knew he was frowning. The expression on him was as great as a big boom.

“I can’t see you like this, love.”

No, no, she was the one who couldn’t see him because her eyes were closed. She couldn’t touch him because she was still somehow sleeping, though that couldn’t be right. Couldn’t open her mouth to console him because something was in it, giving her air to breathe, nice, rejuvenating air. But at least she could hear him.

Hear his voice that sounded completely shattered. Guilty.

Maybe even a little bit furious.

More noises, like the dragging of an actual chair this time, and the deep voice of Roadhog that said, “Sit down.” The beeping of the machines around her, the hum of the air conditioning, the wheezing breaths of the large junker that were somehow calming because it meant he was still alive too. More breaths, she heard. Shaky ones. Coming from _him_. And Mei felt the warmth of his hand sliding into hers.

“How could you do it?” Jamie asked her softly, sadly. A bit unsurely, as if he didn’t even know how he should be responding. By the sound of his voice, these feelings had long been unfelt. “How can I forgive you? I’m so bloody mad at you, I wanna wring your neck…”

How could he forgive her? He would find a way.

_Because she always needed to be able to hear him, no matter what._

She had to keep him on his one leg, even if it meant never laying eyes on him again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

She hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, remembering the whole ordeal made her temper begin to rise, even knocked out in the med bay it simmered, because who was _he_ to be angry with _her_? He had no right to be so upset, and at the very next chance she might even clock him over the head for acting the way he was, all that _wringing of the neck_ nonsense he was spewing when she couldn’t fight him on it. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

She would do it again. And again and again. And even once more.

And it was all his fault really, she thought, even in the depths of the dark that somehow didn’t keep her from hearing him now. If he wasn’t such a reckless _buffoon_ and knew when to keep his big mouth shut then what had happened wouldn’t have happened at all. Sure, some things wouldn’t have come to pass then, like his meeting Roadhog and then the two going on an international crime spree that had eventually led them to Overwatch and a contract. If he hadn’t kept that big mouth shut, Jamison Fawkes wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t have been given the chance to exasperate her, to weaken her, to confuse her.

 _To light her up inside_.

But at least, if he’d been quiet, he would be safe no matter where he would go.

Was it better for him to be safe without knowing her, or to be in constant danger and close enough to touch?

After all this time, he was still confusing her, and she had all of him, every single soot-covered inch.

Every single soot-covered inch of the one known as Junkrat that every bounty hunter in multiple countries wanted for that little something Jamie had _not_ kept his mouth shut about.

 _Treasure_.

The one thing Mei didn’t know was what exactly that treasure was.

But dangerous people wanted it. Dangerous people like the Shimada clan.

Hanamura was beautiful, especially when the cherry blossoms bloomed and the petals breezed through the air like fluffy pink fairies. She remembered wanting to make a friend somewhere here, one who worked in her field. Perhaps she could persuade that friend to let her see a few of the weather documents if they were given any further down time. It would be interesting, as well, to take a few samples from those trees, see how they were doing. Just for fun.

And if she were in a normal relationship – and they didn’t call it that, at least not in front of the others – maybe she would even want to get away for an hour or two with him. But she wasn’t in a normal relationship – how had this even _turned_ into a relationship? – so she couldn’t do normal things. The most normal it could be was scouting the area, getting a feel for it with Jamie, Roadhog, and Angela.

Mei unclasped the buckle of her belt and let her coat open so the breeze would kiss her chest over her tank underneath. She rubbed some of her bangs back, looked behind her to where she knew he was.

“Why are you wearing that?” she asked with a sigh.

Jamison, trying to appear _incognito_ , pulled down the brim of a lady’s floppy sun hat to shield his face. It had a giant pink bow on the back that matched the big pink sunglasses he’d pressed onto his face. “They know me here, love. Might have one of those _Wanted_ posters up somewhere, so I’m hiding all of me good sides.”

“You’re wearing a hat and sunglasses, Jamie.”

“Yeah, so I can go like this,” he said, tilting his chin down low and pulling the brim of the hat again. “I feel like Carmen Sandiego, they’ll never know it’s Junkrat and we can do our business without me havin’ to write a check for stolen plush toys and soda. I look pretty cool, huh? Very Rico Suave.” He giggled happily at that. “Hey, let me borrow your coat, gotta hide the ink.” He gestured to his shoulder and the skull marked there.

She tilted her head up at him with a lifted brow. “Do you really think your face and your tattoo are more noticeable than your missing appendages and the very _unique_ prosthetic you’ve chosen so you can walk?”

Behind the dark lenses, she could see his eyes blinking down at her. “Aw, shit… You’re right as usual, darl. So gimme your coat an’ call me Carmen, yeah?”

“No,” she said, batting his hands away when he reached for the open lapels. “As long as you’re with Overwatch, you have clearance, Jack made sure of it. Global Intelligence won’t bother you if you’re with us and you stay out of trouble. We talked about this in the briefing this morning, Jamie, were you not paying attention?”

His eyes had already wandered, though she knew he was listening to her. In the middle of the market were shops, parked cars, even an arcade nearby that Jamie was staying away from at all costs. The civilians had been cleared temporarily so Overwatch could do their business. They needed allies, and Hanamura, Japan had been the next on Jack and Winston’s list. The two were at another designated location, talking things over with whomever it was they needed to talk to about such things. Jamie’s hand plucked a scarf from a nearby rack in the doorway of the shop they were standing just outside of. He wrapped it around his neck and lifted a shoulder in some strange pose he must’ve thought was very fashionable.

“Well excuse the hell outta me, Mei-ling, for tryin’ to keep that fuckwit’s cigar smoke outta your face during that entire briefing. It was just wafting over to you, no way was I gonna let you inhale that mess. If it weren’t for me hand fanning it away, you might get a bad diagnosis from the angel in ten years.”

“So that’s what you were doing. I thought you brought a fly in. And stop touching their merchandise, you’re getting it dirty. Put it all back.”

“You don’t like my new look, babe?” Jamie asked, jutting out a hip and striking yet another ridiculous pose in a frilly scarf, pink sunglasses, and a floppy feminine hat. “I now require a candlelit dinner and cocktails that are _not_ of the molotov kind if you wish to get into these shorts later this evening. I’m a classy one now, and I’ll no longer allow you to use this body for your sexual jollies, miss. I believe my fancy hat is in order.”

Inside the shop, Angela lifted a hand and giggled into it. Her angel wings were pulled in and her staff rested in the crook of her elbow. Roadhog, who stood near her quietly looking at postcards, only shook his head. They were all waiting for their pickup.

Mei gave him a blank stare. The team knew they were pretty much… _together_ , after a very rough start. But it went unsaid that no one would talk about it for the fear of making her uncomfortable. And maybe there was some acceptance in there too that it would happen between them eventually. “Jamison,” she simply murmured.

“However,” Jamie continued, the ends of the scarf draped against his bare chest, which made the entire look extra silly. He was playfully speaking in what he assumed sounded very proper-like. “If you were to buy me a churro, then I shall bestow upon you, my precious love, a good wristy.”

Angela, who was enjoying the whole scene, looked over to Roadhog and asked, “What’s a wristy?”

The snout of the pig’s mask turned slightly in her direction as his big hand held a postcard with a tropical paradise depicted on it. “Don’t mind him, he’s not even using the word correctly.”

Jamie spun around to face his bodyguard, hands on his hips and the scarf flapping around. “Don’t mind _him_ , Doc, because that one don’t even know how to give a lady a wristy. Probably never had the opportunity neither. It’s entirely possible, mate, _trust me_ ,” he added, jerking a thumb back at Mei.

“You look ridiculous,” Roadhog muttered.

“Okay, okay, enough,” Mei said, going up to Jamie and carefully removing the hat and sunglasses. She made an attempt to wipe off any soot he’d left behind, especially on the hat. She knew he was bored, but ruining someone else’s property was something she couldn’t allow. “Let me remove the scarf, you might rip it on those spikes sticking out of your tire.”

He was used to her taking care of him now. Bastard, she would think later when lying in a bed and him sitting at her side. The little things like this didn’t bother him and he carelessly stood there and let her do it, but as soon as she made a bigger sacrifice… he wanted to wring her neck.

Angela had turned to Roadhog, pointing at another postcard he’d picked up to tell him a story about when she’d traveled to that particular place. Jamie leaned on the counter on the other side of the store, the breeze from the open doorway drifting in and ruffling his unkempt blonde hair. As she unraveled the scarf for him, he lifted a brow and glanced down at her tank, casually saying, “Your tits look nice today, love.”

Mei sighed, pulled the scarf away and rolled it up nicely before placing it on the counter for when the shopkeepers returned. It was stained black she saw, and left some credits on the counter to pay for it. She then lifted her hands and rubbed her temples. “Why am I here?” she asked quietly. “Why am I doing this?”

“Doing what? Me? Why are you doing me? Is that what you’re asking?”

“Yes,” she answered, looking up at him without any hesitation that she might’ve hurt his feelings. “That’s exactly what I’m asking. Why am I here, with you? Why am I doing this, with you? You frustrate me, Jamie.”

“Hmm.” He wasn’t hurt by her question. He’d never been hurt by the things she would say to him, even before they’d ended up like this. It was shocking to her to this day, and something she would probably never understand. She had a temper, he knew it since the first day he’d met her, and sometimes that temper made her say things to him she didn’t truly mean.

And maybe that right there… was the answer to her question. Why was he still with her when she was what she was? Why was she still with him when he was what he was? Polar opposites, indeed. What she’d said to him just now could be extremely hurtful. He was only being himself, after all. The one self he knew how to be.

Jamie only grinned down at her.

“I think it’s ‘cause ya love me,” he finally said.

Mei froze, as if her own blaster had been turned against her, keeping her in place, unable to move. She stared up at him without moving a muscle; Jamison Fawkes and his big infectious smile and his gleaming amber eyes and the very air about him that felt just as explosive as the tire he carried on his back. He strived to make her laugh, to have a good time, to work together peacefully even when she used to spit insults at him when she hadn’t even known him. But she knew him now.

She knew him so well that she even knew the sounds he made when her eyes were closed. In a crowd full of people, she could find him in the dark so very easily. Just pluck him right out because she could _feel_ him when he was near.

Why did she put up with him?

She knew why.

Mei watched the instant transformation in his face. Before he’d looked tender, playful, that special face that made him look human to her instead of the explosives crazy madman Australia had created. Now… his face hardened, his eyes went suspicious, like an animal sensing a predator nearby. It was quiet around them, just a breeze, just a fluttering of the cherry blossoms. But something was here, he knew it.

_Danger._

There was a sudden wisp through the air, a crack of wood.

Mei jumped and Jamie stared down at the sharp arrow that had pierced the counter right next to his arm barely an inch away. He looked up almost calmly and Mei spun around to the outside.

Firearms, arrows, men somehow climbing the walls like spiders and aiming each weapon right at Jamie. One stepped forward on a neighboring roof with silent feet, his face covered in black cloth and on his shoulder the Shimada family crest. He lifted his rifle.

“Where is your treasure?” he demanded, staring down into the scope with Jamie in the crosshairs. “We’ve come to collect it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Odd memories popped into her head at the oddest of times, and sometimes the most inopportune times too. When she was happy with him, she would remember some incident and she would worry for him. When she was mad at him, something would come to her to make her long for him. And when she was incredibly anxious in the midst of a battle, like with the Shimada’s…

Mei remembered the first time he kissed her.

She still hadn’t liked him. Or maybe she had and she refused to accept it because he was so damn infuriating. She didn’t know how to handle her eyes lingering on him a little longer than they should have, so she covered it up with a flustered crossing of her arms and a grimace and a comment about him being a bully. Tension, her mind would reason with her when she was alone. There was tension between them, the sexual kind.

She refused to think any more on the matter after that unwanted epiphany.

As they worked to rebuild Overwatch and its reputation, Mei found herself looking for him during missions, even feeling somewhat better when she spotted one of his traps nearby because they were things that belonged to him. She’d told herself it was just the comradery of being part of a very important team again, told herself that the release of her heart when she saw that he was okay was just the obvious success of their mission. She didn’t want to think it meant anything more because that would be absolutely ridiculous. He drove her crazy, and that was all.

 _He drove her crazy_.

The first time he’d kissed her, Mei had been at the cliffs of Gibraltar, watching the ocean as the sun set on the horizon and the sky alive with glorious color. She’d needed a break from her chalkboard and all the numbers scribbled onto it, needed time away from Winston and his happy chomping on bananas and peanut butter as he asked her a question about her equations. She’d wanted the peace and the quiet, the ocean and the crashing waves down below.

All of it was interrupted by the soft calling of her name.

“Uh, Mei? Mei, over here.”

She glanced over to the voice, squinted her eyes and thought maybe her glasses were playing tricks on her. Stepping along dirt and patches of green grass, she saw Jamie grasping the ledge of the cliff, trying to pull himself up. The rest of him was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

Mei cursed suddenly in Mandarin, rushed to him quickly in case he would fall. He flustered her but she’d never let the man drop to his doom. “What is this? What are you doing?” she demanded, reaching for his arms set firmly on the cliff.

“No worries, Mei,” he answered with a big grin that would certainly not be on any normal person’s face when they were one small stumble from going splat. “I wanted to go to the beach and the roads take too long, so I climbed down. Climbin’ back up was a bit harder… Me boot fell off and I ain’t got no traction, and this leg ain’t _ideal_ for scaling a cliff, only skittering down one apparently. Just havin’ a bit of difficulty.”

“Just… just hang on, don’t slip.” Mei grabbed his upper arms – _ignored_ the tight muscle there even as they slightly shook from losing their strength – and pulled while he tried to push with his one foot that couldn’t find a good surface. When he was up far enough, she reached down and grabbed the waistband of his shorts, yanking him up the rest of the way.

Jamie let out a big breath, rolled onto his back and placed a hand over his galloping heart. “Ah, cheers, love, you saved me life. Didn’t know how much longer I could do that.”

“You could have died,” she reminded him angrily, deciding also to ignore her own hammering heart. “The ocean would have washed you away at high tide, we never would’ve found you if you’d fallen.”

“But I didn’t fall. You came to the rescue like the hero you are, eh?” He sat up, pressed his living hand into his opposite arm to rub away any aches. “No one’s gonna miss me around here anyways, bloody oath. One less guy, right?”

Mei went quiet. She didn’t like those words, didn’t like them at all. Did he think he was expendable, unimportant? So unimportant that no one would come looking for him if he became lost.

“Jamison,” she said softly, taking a breath and getting to her feet when he did too. She grasped her elbow in one hand, looked down at the dirt and the grass at her feet. “Don’t do that again, okay? You could really get hurt. The stupid things you do…”

Jamie only shrugged.

“Thanks for the assist, snowflake, couldn’t have gotten up without ya. Saved my skin, you did.”

And as if it were something completely natural for him, as if it were something he did all the time, Jamie reached out with his living hand, cupped her chin lightly.

Pecked her lips.

Immediately he walked away, like it had been a silly chaste cheek kiss to thank her and nothing else. Mei had stood there, eyes wide behind her glasses and lips still awkwardly puckered up.

Lips burning, sizzling. Just like the rest of her all of a sudden.

That little peck had eventually turned into more kisses during their time building Overwatch and fighting the good fight, and those kisses had eventually turned into wandering hands and kisses in other places. Before Mei knew it he was spending the night in her room if she hadn’t already snuck into his. Months sneaking around had become more months no longer sneaking around because the team knew, and didn’t bother them for it.

Mei and Jamie didn’t _officially_ share a room, but if they weren’t in her bed, they were in his. Every single night.

It was memories like those that she would think about when she was fighting to keep him alive during the ambush of a Japanese crime family.

It was war outside the shop. A minute of survival felt like an hour, and an hour felt like a day. Time went by with the shouting of their enemies and gunfire and more wisps of arrows outside, and inside there was the loud pop of Roadhog’s scrap gun, Mei’s panting and attempts to contact the rest of their team, Angela’s calming and encouraging voice, cracks of the wood around them as the clan tried to break in…

And Jamie’s laughter as he did his best to eliminate everyone on the outside.

If weapons hadn’t caused collision around them, then the three not launching frags did their best to barricade themselves inside the shop until backup arrived. Four of them were not enough to take on an entire clan of trained assassins, even with the junkers and a healer, but the door where Jamie and Mei had stood before was actually just a doorway, nothing to lock or even close. The shop was now a destructive mess, and Mei used what she could to block off the doorway to at least slow whoever would try to push through, allowing Jamie to blow them back out the way they’d come or scream when their legs were ensnared in the teeth of one of his traps so Mei could freeze them with her blaster.

She didn’t know how long the shop would keep them safe. The clan wanted in, and they wanted Jamie.

She couldn’t allow them to take him.

Mei dropped with her back against the counter, blowing the bangs out of her face as she reloaded her blaster so she could continue to defend the doorway. As she waited for it to fill, she glanced up at Jamie, saw him happily launching more frags and chucking a concussion mine outside at the same time, both hands constantly in motion. He liked to hold the detonator, and was apparently waiting for just the right moment before having the mine go off. He was still with them, sill happy, still unharmed. Mei then spotted Roadhog and Angela at the other end of the shop, holding that area so no one could get in at any angle. They were safe too, she saw. Roadhog’s hook was bloody and a few bodies lay at his feet who unfortunately tried to sneak in at the wrong end. There was a window by him and he used it to shoot at any nearby target, Angela standing right by him with her staff in both hands, sending a constant stream of a soothing yellow wave from it right into Mako to keep him healed at all times. He was their big muscle, they couldn’t afford for anything to happen to him.

Roadhog yelled when some more wood exploded by him, lifting his arm to shield his mask. “Jamison!” he growled.

“Right here, mate,” Jamie called out as he reloaded his launcher. “Stop worryin’ about me, keep your peepers on the doc.”

“This place is falling apart,” Mei commented, looking up and hearing the groaning of the roof above them. “Jack,” she tried again, placing a hand over her ear. “Jack, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Morrison finally answered through the comm link, his voice angry and worried. “What the hell is going on?”

“The Shimada clan has ambushed us, and they have heavy firepower. We need reinforcements; we won’t make it on our own. All of us are accounted for, no fatalities,” she breathed with relief as she sought out Jamie again. “We’ve barricaded ourselves inside a general store, but it won’t last much longer, they’re breaking through.”

“Hold tight, Mei. Stay on the line. Rallying to you now after we plug in your location. Stand by.”

Mei nodded even though Jack couldn’t see her doing it. She needed to get back up and fight, needed to make sure they all got out alive.

 _Needed to keep Jamie on his feet_.

There was a sudden pattering of quick boots and before she knew it, one of them had vaulted through the doorway and landed right next to her. Mei screamed and went to lift her blaster at the same time their intruder brandished a dagger to slice her throat.

He didn’t get the chance. Suddenly something wrapped around his neck, something familiar. The scarf, she saw. The scarf Jamie had been wearing before the Shimada’s had arrived. With the ends of the scarf in a tight grip, Jamie yanked him away from Mei by his neck, causing him to choke violently. “She don’t like you, mate, now go away,” Jamie said to him before tossing him out, right onto one of his mines. He giggled when he hit the button on the detonator, and her attacker was no more.

“Where the hell is Morrison?” Roadhog asked, his voice weary and furious, even with the yellow beam surrounding him. A dark figure appeared in the window with two pistols clutched in his hands, barrels aimed at Mako.

Popping was heard, and Roadhog thought he’d been shot, but the figure only fell. He turned and saw Angela aiming her own pistol at the window. She gave him a smile.

“Thanks,” Roadhog grumbled out.

“My pleasure,” she said with a nod before her wings spread out and she zipped over to Jamie to give him a boost.

“Get stuffed, you soft cocks,” Jamie yelled, then glanced over to Roadhog when he heard a big boom. A car had exploded outside and landed right in front of Roadhog’s open window. Now they had only one way out: the doorway every last Shimada outside was trying to get through. They didn’t even have his RIP-tire, as that had longed ago been used to stop a rampaging group.

“Jamie, get away from the door,” Mei ordered as she sent a few icicles to a few men running across the street. She was trying to save power on her blaster by limiting the ice walls until she would need one.

“They ain’t gonna get their filthy fuckin’ hands on me, love, don’t you worry.”

“Mei,” Jack said through the comm link. “We can’t pinpoint your location. Something’s blocking the targeting system, and our data shows that the Shimada’s have the tech to disturb your signal. We think they placed something nearby to keep you invisible.”

No, no, she thought desperately. This can’t be happening. “What do I do?”

“The vehicle you took this morning has a disrupter, it should be in the glove box. One of Winston’s designs for emergencies. You need to retrieve it and activate it. The sooner you crash their tech, the sooner we can get to you and get you all out of there. Genji reported he’s on his way but he’s traveling on foot. He knows the streets better than we do.”

“Disrupter,” Mei repeated, her eyes instantly going to the doorway and the outside where their jeep was parked. She flinched from another nearby explosion. “Activate it. I’m on it.” She stood, talked firmly and loudly so everyone could hear her. The others had heard Jack in their own links, but creating a plan was essential. “There’s a device in the jeep, it’ll stop the blocker and then Jack can find us. I need to get it.”

Jamie instantly stopped what he was doing, spun around to her. His smile was gone. “Get ya hand off it, Mei,” he said, which she took to mean d _on’t talk nonsense_ by his reaction. He looked at Angela. “Can’t you fly over there or something?”

Angela frowned. “My wings only travel directly to a tracking device you all agreed to have inserted under your skin so that I could get to you quickly and smoothly. They are only meant to glide and heal, not actually fly.”

He scowled, obviously not liking that answer. “Roadie,” he called.

“Mako can’t leave you,” Mei interrupted. “If something happens to him then our chance of survival isn’t as great. He needs to hold this point until backup arrives. He’s also a much larger target for them.”

“Fine then. I’ll go get the little bugger.”

“Jamie,” she said softly, grabbing his hand and yanking him down into a crouch so she could talk to him directly, with no distractions. This close to her, he had no choice but to stare right at her face. “You are who they’re after. This is why Roadhog is here, to protect you from them. If you go out there we’re giving them exactly what they came for. What if they shoot your leg out from under you? That’s exactly what they’ll do first.”

“You sayin’ I can’t retrieve some do-dad because I’m crippled?”

“I’m faster than you. No offense,” she added with a small smile. Gently, she reached up to his face and rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone. “We have to think smart. They’re too focused on you, they won’t notice me. I’ll be right back.”

Another explosion and he didn’t flinch at all, just stared at her, and who knew exactly what he was thinking. They both knew she would go no matter what he said, and she was right. She was faster than he was, and if getting snatched by the Shimada’s meant her demise if he went instead…

She hoped he saw that outcome since he would then have no choice but to agree with her.

Jamie reached out with his living hand, cupped her chin and kissed her. Exactly the same way as the very first time. Only this time, she kissed him right back.

“I got your back, love,” he told her, angling the launcher up. “I’ll even do some aiming.”

Mei shook her head at him even as she grinned. Standing, she took a few breaths to prepare herself for the run to the jeep. Jamie placed himself by the doorway, setting the launcher on an overturned piece of furniture for more focus when she finally dashed out. Angela gripped her pistol to do the same while Roadhog watched the perimeter.

“Heading for the jeep now,” Mei said into the comm link. “Stand by for our signal. Please hurry.”

“Copy that,” Jack replied.

She waited for an opportunity to sneak out. Crouched, she intensely watched the Shimada’s who were near. When she decided now was the best chance she would get, she pushed some debris out of the way and dashed behind a nearby overturned car. She concentrated on her breathing instead of the gunfire around her, and the jeep she needed to get to instead of their attackers jumping along the roofs and climbing the walls. She heard loud orders barked in Japanese and decided that if they ever came to Hanamura again, Genji should always be with them. Mei peeked over a big wheel, ran out again. She gasped when arrows pierced the ground behind her, one right after the other with every stride she took. Her heart hammered, her breath stopped. She couldn’t outrun a flying arrow…

She then heard an explosion and the Japanese men’s screams as the ground from under them turned to flames.

Mei grinned a bit when she finally reached the jeep, thankful that the one time Jamie really did pay close attention, now had been it and he’d come through. She yanked the jeep’s door open, rushed to open the glove box and find the device she needed. There, she thought, seeing a slim tool that had to be it since no other small gadget was in there. Now was as good a time as any, so she activated it right then and there, watched it light up and beep. Precious sounds that would save them all and make them visible again.

“Jack,” she said victoriously, but also with a little hitch in her voice.

“Got it. TOA approximately four minutes. Good job, soldier.”

No longer needed, Mei chucked the disrupter back into the jeep and looked to the shop. She needed to get back there, keep Jamie safe, keep him on his feet. From the doorway Jamie met her eyes, and for a moment she was aware of nothing but them. He was focused completely on her, staring at her as if he didn’t know what to do with himself until she got back. He longed for her to get back to shelter, to be safe and secure, to be right at his side where he could see her. He was feeling the exact same things she was, like worry and frustration and hope and an intense drive in them to make it through this with everyone they’d started out with but especially each other.

There was something else in there too. Something much more powerful.

 _I think it’s ‘cause ya love me_.

Again, Mei froze when she thought that… maybe it was possible.

Something hit the doorway near him and wood exploded. Mei snapped out of it and saw Angela fall back, her pistol now out of her hand and her other clutching her now very bloody arm. Her face grimaced in intense pain and her wings drooped. Mei gasped from her place at the jeep, watched as Roadhog instantly scooped Angela up in his arms, her blood dripping on him. He cradled her anyway in one big arm, fighting back with the other clutching the scrap gun. She could help, Mei thought frantically. She could help stabilize their healer until Jack arrived. There were less Shimada’s now, and for a moment it confused her as she surveyed the area. It was oddly quiet, and it had to be that either most of them were dead or injured… or gearing up for something else. Mei rushed out when she had a clearing, kept her eyes on Jamie who was furiously waving her over. Something wasn’t right, she thought distantly.

Halfway to the shop, and she stopped, something catching her eye off to the left. The roof where they’d demanded to know where Jamie’s treasure was now had three men, one being the exact one who’d spoken to them before firing earlier. Another placed something in his arms, something big and metal. Something terrifying. The man crouched, set the weapon on his shoulder.

Mei’s eyes widened as she watched him line up the missile launcher, right at the doorway where her friends were. Where Jamie was. Time slowed around her, and her heart stopped.

There was no way they would survive that inside a little shop. There was no way she could get to them in time to stop it, no time to take out the men so the missile wouldn’t be fired and absolutely no time for all of them to run out of the only exit with Mako carrying a wounded Angela. But she was also too close to the impact.

There was only one choice. It was either them, or her. What was more important?

Standing still, Mei lifted her blaster, aimed it at the doorway at the same time the clan aimed the launcher to open fire.

Within one moment, Jamie spotted her and the threat coming for them too. Instantly he put two and two together; the missile aimed at them, Mei parallel to them on the ground, her blaster pointing right at him. Her sad determined eyes and the firm line of her mouth. He knew then her intensions. She would save them…

And she would still be outside. There was no way the blast wouldn’t hit her.

Jamie glared at her, eyes furious and glowing like a fire. “No, Mei!” he shouted, attempting to rush forward.

She cut him off by the rising of an ice wall as soon as the missile was fired, blocked him from coming to her, keeping him safe inside the shop.

The missile hit the wall instead and the boom of it threw her back right into their jeep.

Mei lost consciousness and fell onto the road, blood oozing through her hair and glasses crushed nearby.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Why would you do that?_

When she finally woke, Mei found herself in the med bay back at base. She felt drowsy and weak and most of all thirsty, but other than some scrapes and bruises and a pain in her head, she felt alright. Could’ve been worse, she’d thought then, attempting to sit up. She could’ve lost a limp, maybe her eyesight from shattered glasses, brain damage, severe burns. She could’ve even died. She felt alright, all things considered.

What was more troublesome was the sound of Jamie’s voice she’d heard while fading in and out of consciousness.

_I’m so bloody mad at you, I wanna wring your neck…_

Once she woke, Angela zipped right over to her, her arm bandaged up and not as bad an injury as it had appeared or even felt like, she’d told her. She helped Mei sit up, stuffed pillows behind her back and got her some water. She was fine, Angela told her, checking her vitals and approving of more small tests she performed. She’d bumped her head pretty hard and had some scrapes from the road and a few cuts on her face from her broken glasses – which were immediately replaced on her face with her spare set – but with some more rest, she would be absolutely fine. She was lucky, Angela told her. And she was her hero. Both Jamie and Mako were safe and sound as well.

Mei had taken a small mirror, inspected her face. Just a few cuts, she confirmed. Little nicks here and there.

_I can’t see you like this, love._

He had to have been here at some point, Mei thought. She’d heard him, she would know those sounds anywhere, the sounds of Jamison Fawkes. But glancing around as Angela did her doctoring, she saw that Jamie was nowhere in sight. Not a trace of him at all except for his voice in her head.

Mei knew he was angry with her; she’d never seen him so angry as when she’d stared at his face a split second before putting the wall up between him and a missile. He was so angry he hadn’t wanted to come see her, and it had been Roadhog who’d pushed him in anyway. Mei understood, and didn’t hold it against him. She knew it was difficult for him to care, to _truly_ care when it came to incidents such as what had happened in Hanamura. Jamie had never had anyone like her before and sometimes he didn’t know what to do with himself. Sure, he was overly affectionate and inappropriate and flustered and embarrassed her when it came to their relationship.

But Mei sacrificing herself for him? How could he even process that?

If she were honest with herself, she’d be furious too if their situations were reversed.

Angela must’ve seen her glancing because she said, “He’s upset, but don’t worry about him. Just focus on resting, my brave hero.”

The next day, Angela had cleared Jack and everyone else to visit her in her med bay room. Mei smiled brightly. Her hair had been braided back by Lucio when he and Hana had snuck in earlier that morning, but she didn’t really care about how she looked, she was just thankful everyone was okay. Her team gathered around her bed, Jack at the foot and looking very official, though she could tell he was still very relieved. Everyone was grinning at her, even Roadhog was there, off in the corner with his large arms crossed.

“I speak for everyone when I say that what you did in Japan took a lot of courage and a hell of a lot of quick thinking. Those traits are boundless in you, Mei, and if it weren’t for you, I don’t know if Winston and I would’ve arrived in time.” Jack had his arms crossed too as he spoke, his voice flat and authoritative, but they all knew he meant every single word. “So, on behalf of the entire team, I want to thank you for your service. I didn’t think that a scientist belonged on the front lines, but you’ve proven yourself in my eyes. We’re a lot stronger with you there.”

Everyone took a turn to give her a hug or a handshake, or in Lena and Reinhardt’s case, a big kiss on both cheeks. Jesse had politely tipped his hat to her and Genji had needed her forgiveness from the brutality of the world he used to live in, but it wasn’t needed. “You’re supposed to be here, with _us_ ,” she told Genji, patting his hand resting in hers.

As they celebrated Mei’s recovery by chatting away with each other, Mei looked over, through all the people to the doorway. She sensed him, and there Jamie was, the first time seeing him since closing him off with ice. Still angry, she saw, the two staring at each other through the bustle of their team. His arms were crossed, his shoulder leaning against the doorway. He didn’t join the happy group and didn’t approach her bed, even though if there was a party, Jamison Fawkes would be right there to participate in the fun. Mei didn’t give him a reassuring smile, didn’t beckon him over, didn’t even call out his name even though she desperately wanted to. She just stared at him, and spotted a very slight tremble in his chin as he stared back.

Mei tried not to frown when Jamie turned and walked off. Instead, she put on a fake smile and chatted with her teammates who praised her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Another day in the med bay, and this time only Roadhog sat at her bedside, reading a book. Since she started sleeping with Jamie, she’d gotten to know the big man better, and the two had discovered it was easy to be around the other. They both liked to read, to talk about what they read, and they both liked hot tea. Mei clasped a cup now that Roadhog had made her, his own cup on the table beside him as he turned a page of his book with a thick finger. Mako made good tea.

She’d taken only one sip because she couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the empty doorway.

“He’s barricaded himself in his workshop,” Roadhog said suddenly, knowing who she was really waiting for. “Hasn’t really come out since we got back from Japan. Won’t talk to me either. Pissed as all hell.”

Mei sighed, staring down at her tea. Her hair was a messy bun on top of her head but again, she didn’t care. “I know he’s mad,” she said softly, “but if it were him in this bed, I would be here.”

“You don’t know what it’s like to be him. Not really.” Mako kept his eyes on the page, read a few lines. He had to be a good multitasker based on who his _boss_ was. “I know you’ve experienced similar tragedies, pretty much waking up to a world you don’t know and not sure if you even belong in it. But you had a life before your tragedy. You had a successful career, friends and family, security, a house. You had a support system and a purpose. He’s had none of that, and he may have you now and he may even have me, but it’s all very new to him, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. You know this about him. It’s nothing new and you’ve lived with it for the damn year you’ve been close,” he added, finally turning his head to look in her direction.

“I know,” Mei sighed, meeting what she hoped were his eyes. “I just…”

“You want him here. I know you do.” Mako closed his book, set it next to his forgotten tea. He turned his chair to her. “You saved all of us, and I’m pretty grateful for that. Don’t really have plans dying anytime soon. Hell, you even did my job for me protecting that skinny rat. You’re a tough woman, and I admire you. I don’t say that shit often so let’s keep it between us.”

Mei couldn’t help but smile a bit, and give a slight nod.

“But,” Roadhog continued, “because you saved us, you weren’t on the other side of that ice wall. You didn’t see him when it went up. I’m going to tell you now what happened after the missile blast, after you hit your head and passed out. I think you need to hear it so you can understand why he’s acting the way that he is today.”

Mako painted quite a picture, and Mei listened to every single word.

“He knew what you were going to do and I get it, there was no time for anything other than the decision you made. That took guts. He tried to outrun the wall, the idiot, he can barely run. But he tried because he didn’t want you separated from us. The wall went up and he crashed right into it, slamming his fists on the ice, trying to break it even after the missile hit the other side. He was screaming your name, and he broke a few parts in his robotic hand thinking he could get through. He pretty much lost it, reached for his tire to blow it but the tire was already used up. Gave it a few whacks with Angela’s staff, just… yelling, yelling for you, _at_ you. He couldn’t catch his breath and his eyes went wild and his hands were shaking. When he reached for his explosives, just blindly thinking he would blow the wall down, I had to stop him. He couldn’t set a bomb off inside a small store, the rest of us would’ve gotten hurt and Angela had already lost a lotta blood. I had to restrain him. He was kicking and cursing at me, even tried to bite me. Bloodied my nose a bit when he hit me with the back of his hard head, but I decided to give the bastard a pass for that one, all things considered.

“Morrison finally descended in the aircraft. The ape vaulted out of it, eyes glowing and tossing those pricks to the other side of town. Genji got there, deflected a lot of their attacks so Jack could grab you from the road. Priorities, you know, so I grabbed Jamison in one arm, Angela in the other, and got both onto the ship. As soon as Jack laid you down, Jamison pushed him away and fell on you. He gathered you up, pulled you into his lap and rocked you, muttering nonsense.

“Out of his mind. The kids,” he said, and Mei knew he meant Hana and Lucio, “they tried to go talk to him when we got back. I forced him in here the other day, and the boy was a catastrophe. You think he should be here, and maybe he should be here no matter how pissed he is, considering you two are... you know. But seeing you almost die for him, especially with how much he cares about you… He doesn’t think he’s worth dying for. There’s a part of him that thinks he’s just junker scum, and when he freaked out when the wall went up and you were on the other side, it brought him back to the Outback and all the shit he’s had to deal with there his entire life. He’s mad at you because he can’t lose you. The man has a treasure somewhere, but you’re the one he wants. I think being mad at you is easier for him to handle than falling apart again.”

Mei could see it in her head, the whole scene. She could see Jamie banging on the ice wall to break it, could see his frustration when he couldn’t, and the _uncertainty_ that she was even still alive. Seeing it in her head, hearing it from Mako and knowing it was the truth, fixed all the hurt feelings she’d felt even when she’d known the reasons for his anger herself. When the team had been in here and Jamie had refused to come in and see her, Mei had wanted nothing more than for him to come closer, close enough to touch for herself and _feel_ that he was still here with her after saving him, the solid form of him. She would’ve have cared about the team seeing it all, and maybe that was growth on her part.

She would spend eternity touching him, keeping him close.

Her lover was upset, and was he even still her lover at this point? He’d relived trauma and had thought the one thing in his life he cared deeply for had been taken away to save him, a sacrifice he couldn’t seem to understand.

_But she would do it again. And again and again._

“I’ll make it right,” she told Mako.

 

* * *

 

 

Another day of rest, and Mei felt good enough to leave the med bay and resume her duties to Overwatch. There was so much work to be done and she’d missed a few days in recovery, but she could get it all back during the bad nights when she couldn’t sleep, not even in the comfort of her nightlights. Usually she had a partner sleeping with her and keeping her company during those bad nights while they sipped iced coffees and she calculated numbers and read reports and Jamie entertained himself in some way.

She might not have that partner in her bed anymore, but at least she could attempt to clear the air between them.

Mei pulled on a sweater that hung off one shoulder and gathered up her hair. Before she got back to work she had to go see him. What happened next depended on how they would leave things. Make up or break up, she figured. She walked down to Jamison’s workshop, approached the door that had a big crack down the middle, saw it closed and locked up. This part of the base wasn’t yet equipped with modern technology since it was a gamble whether or not he would blow it to smithereens, so the door came with a basic knob and keyhole. Mei took a moment and a breath, geared up for all the things she would say, things she would probably instantly forget as soon as she saw him. She lifted her hand and knocked softly.

He wasn’t answering, and she didn’t hear his unique footsteps coming to open the door. Mei knocked again, louder this time. After more nothing, she placed an ear on the door to see if she could hear him. She knew he was in there, she could tell. She _always_ knew where he was as if they were constantly connected.

Nothing. Just silence.

Getting a bit annoyed herself, Mei decided to take matters into her own hands and get inside without his permission. She crouched down, inspected the lock. Reaching up, she pulled her snowflake pin from her hair, brown tendrils falling on her shoulders, and slid in the tip to pick the lock. It clicked and she pushed the door open, placed the pin in her back pocket instead of putting her hair back up.

She spotted him at his workbench, barely any light on and back hunched over, legs spread wide as he sat on a stool. His blond hair was more of a mess than usual and she wondered when the last time he’d eaten was. He didn’t bother glancing back. She heard tinkering, spotted a screwdriver in his left hand. Mei pressed her lips tightly together, then opened her mouth to speak.

“Jamie,” she called out.

He jumped hard enough to tip a few things over on his desk over from the rattle, spun around. She’d startled him, his eyes told her that. After a few moments of silence, his yellow hues eased into the anger she’d seen in her hospital room.

“Up and about, huh?” he asked.

Mei nodded, and hated this fake decency between them. “I’m fine, you know. I just bumped my head, got a few scratches… It wasn’t that bad. Everyone’s safe. We can all go back to normal.”

“Back to normal,” he muttered, then seemed to scoff and gave her his back again to continue whatever it was he was working on.

She sighed, and walked further into the workshop. She’d been in here countless times just to be with him, to fool around on the mattress nearby, to feed him when he would forget to eat. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m guessing we’re in for a fight. Let’s just get it over with.”

“Not gonna fight with you,” he told her.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“That’s not an answer, Jamie.” Mei wanted to turn on some more lights, but she didn’t reach for a switch. When she got close enough to him, she saw him working on fixing the broken parts of his prosthetic arm he’d damaged back in Japan. “Look, I’m trying to make things right between us again. We can’t go back to square one. Why won’t you talk to me, or even look at me?”

He was oddly quiet. He was _never_ quiet, and it concerned her. When he wouldn’t answer her, Mei placed a hand on his bare shoulder.

He flinched away from her reach. “I can’t look at you right now.”

Apparently the cured _hurt feelings_ wouldn’t stay cured for very long. Mei felt her heart ache, felt that ache in her bones too. She covered it up with her temper. “You’re acting ridiculous. Why can’t you just talk to me like an adult? You’re angry, I understand, but you need to grow up, Jamie. I did what I had to do.”

The screwdriver stopped, and when he spoke his voice was raw, and still so very upset. “You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to block me off and shut me out. You don’t need to go protecting me.”

“I didn’t shut you out,” she replied, exasperated already. “They were going to take you. An entire clan of dangerous Japanese assassins was going to drag you off and torture you for your treasure, and then murder you when you were no longer useful. Was I supposed to allow that? A bump on the head is nothing compared to your life.”

“My life?” he asked angrily, suddenly standing up and finally glaring over in her direction. “What the hell is _my life_? Look at me, Mei.” Jamie spread his arms out around himself, as if that alone proved his point. “What’re doin’ risking your life for _this_? This is nothing, disposable, blown to bits with a record as long as a fucking book. You can’t go givin’ up your life for mine, you just _can’t_. And I don’t give two good shits if it was a damn _bump on the head_. You don’t even _stub your toe_ for me, got it? I can’t handle it. I can’t…”

Mei drew her brows together as she watched his eyes roam frantically over her face. She then realized he must’ve been staring at all the little cuts still healing there. He looked physically pained because of them. “Why do you say that? Why do you think you mean nothing, or that you’re so… replaceable?”

“Cause I am, Mei, bloody oath it is. You went and pissed me the _fuck_ off, almost dying for me like that and leavin’ me all alone. If I off myself for you then it’s no skin off your back, is it? Lady like you can have anyone she wants, just pick the bloke outta a crowd and there he is. You’ll move on, you’ll start a new life, just like you did after you were frozen. You think I got that? You think I got some _life_ after you? I got _nothing_.”

She shook her head, confused, and not sure if he was saying something romantic or hurtful or just plain dumb. But he wasn’t dumb, she knew he wasn’t. He was a reckless idiot, but he was also so very intelligent. He’d even taught himself some Mandarin to communicate with her. “How could you possibly think that about me? If something happened to you, Jamie—“

“Don’t, _don’t_ ,” he groaned, fisting his hands in his hair and turning around for a break before staring back at her again. “Don’t try to save me, Mei. I can take care of my own fucking self, been doing it me whole life. Don’t sacrifice yours for me ‘cause then it’s just… It’s just like home all over again.”

Oh, she thought, frowning up at him. Mako was right. The whole ordeal had brought him back to Australia, and the dangerous wasteland he’d grown up in. “Jamie,” she whispered to him. “You’re not in the Outback anymore, you have to understand that. You have friends now, and they love you. Hana and Lucio _love_ you. You have Mako and you even have Jack and Ana and Jesse and Angela, they’re your teammates. And you have _me_. If something happened to you, Jamie, if I didn’t stop them from killing you… I just couldn’t move on.”

Her words, ones that surprised both of them, seemed to torment him for some reason. His chin trembled again, his amber eyes still wild. His right hand wasn’t working correctly but still she could see it slightly shaking. “Don’t say that,” he breathed, tortured.

“It’s true,” she argued defiantly. “We’re trying to save the world. We’re doing such important work here, and it really is worth fighting for. We’re part of a _team_ and every day we put our lives on the line for the world and for each other. If it means dying to continue to work, or dying for the team, then it’s worth it for the continuation of Overwatch.”

He didn’t like that. He glared again and hissed, “ _Fuck_ Overwatch.”

She ignored his outburst. “I don’t want to leave you and no matter _what_ you think, I couldn’t just _move on_ after you. But you can’t get mad and carry on like this every time I get hurt because it’s bound to happen again. It’s part of our job. You have to be able to lose me, Jamie.”

He went quiet, his mouth opening as if he was going to make a comment, but only a very soft breath came out, a sad and defeated one. “I can’t do that,” he murmured.

“Why not? You don’t have a choice. _Why not_ , Jamie?”

He closed his mouth, stared at her in a way she’d never seen before, something so raw and emotional and very unlike the _evil Australian bomber_. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he looked down at his robotic hand, flexed his fingers a bit, made a fist. Seemed to be working now as they stood there in silence. Mei waited for him to respond. Finally he did.

“I think it’s ‘cause… I love you.”

This time she didn’t freeze up. Oddly, she felt calm, felt a sigh coming out and exhaled it. Why wasn’t she feeling anything? she asked herself. Why didn’t she feel that surge of panic when he’d mentioned her being in love with him back at the Hanamura shop?

 _Because you know he loves you. You know him, you even know every little sound he makes_.

Jamie’s arms dropped at his sides, and he looked so weak then that even a gust of wind could blow him right over.

“Bad things always happen… to people that you love,” he told her, his voice cracking a bit and eyes unable to look at her again. “And… it’s torturing me. I’m scared all the time now and I hate it. I don’t think I can keep feeling like this anymore.”

Mei squinted her eyes tight, blinked them because no way was she going to cry and no way was her chin now trembling and no way was she going to beg him for things to go back to the way they were before Japan, before all these… revelations. “Well then,” she muttered, trying her hardest to keep her voice firm. “I guess we have nothing more to talk about. I won’t continue to torture you and I certainly won’t apologize for saving your life. It was fun while it lasted, Jamison.”

Nothing more to say, she figured, turning around and heading for the door, her heart shattering in her chest. So it would be break up, she thought. No make up’s at all. They were separated now, an ice wall between them once again.

No more Jamie. No more lover. No more… anything.

More sounds behind her, and Mei knew they were of his scampering. She barely had time to turn around before Jamie dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he grumbled into her breasts.

The rush of emotion took her, made her shudder in it. “Jamie?” she asked softly, unsteadily.

Jamie held her tight, his arms around her and pinning her own to her sides, a bear hug that he couldn’t seem to release yet. She noticed his shoulders quivering but he wasn’t crying, just collapsed in front of her and still… being tortured? It looked like he was dying, but just feeling him, feeling his heat that she hadn’t felt for a few days, warmed her cold insides.

“I-I don’t know how to do this,” he stammered into her chest, pressing his face there as if he needed to hide. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Mei, and I know I’m a fuck up, I know I hurt you like I hurt everyone else ‘round me but I don’t want you to leave me and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I said that and that I didn’t come see you when you were awake and that I gave you a hard time ‘cause I just… I really _really_ just…”

Just what? she wanted to ask. But she already knew. She knew, and it was something she’d known for a long time.

She felt healed, as if the warmth of him chased the bitter cold off of her skin and made her shine bright again. She couldn’t move because of his hold on her but it didn’t matter, it was better than never feeling him again.

She wasn’t telling him to back off, so Jamie took it as a good sign. He stood, loomed over her but bent down so he could still be near her, his back hunched as it usually was when he would give her affection while standing. His hands grasped her sweater as if she would disappear, or run off into another battle leaving him scared again, and he placed his forehead on hers, muttering sadly to her.

“It’s okay,” she whispered to him.

“I didn’t mean it, love, I didn’t, I swear, you’re the best part of the whole day. My brain doesn’t always work right when it comes to this stuff, and when you got hurt tryin’ to save me I lost it and I thought you were gonna die and it would be all my fault, but I couldn’t stop it, it was like a storm in my head and it’s fucked up in there and you shouldn’t have to deal with me and I’m sorry you do, you deserve better than this guy, I just… never want to be without you ever.”

Mei pulled her arms free and reached up to cup his face. She gave him a reassuring smile. “Do you think I would be down here if I couldn’t handle you? You frustrate me, Jamie, but your brain has never been a problem. I like you just the way you are and you work just fine to me. We can get through it, okay? You don’t have to change or fix something; I’m here to help you.”

“You scared me when you put the wall up,” he said softly, and it was things like that he told to no one else but her.

“Well I’m sorry for scaring you,” she whispered, rubbing her nose along his. “I won’t apologize for saving you, but I will for that. Is that what you really want to hear? Me saying sorry?”

Her affectionate touches and the playfulness of her voice helped him push the dark in his head away. She always had a way of doing that, of pulling him out. Feeling like he could breathe again, the tension lessened so relief could take its place. “Maybe,” he muttered.

“You have a ton more things to say sorry to me for. I heard you when you said you wanted to wring my neck, by the way.”

His brows rose and he seemed a tad guilty, somehow always in trouble. But still they held each other close. “How the hell did you hear that?”

“Everything you do, I always know it. You can’t pull a fast one on me, Jamison Fawkes.”

He gave a shrug even as he tilted his head to set his mouth against hers. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, love,” he murmured against her lips.

“Yes, you do,” she whispered back. “You said it.”

“Get yourself hurt again and maybe I’ll actually do it.” His carefree expression turned into a pained one again. “Don’t get hurt again. Please.”

She couldn’t promise that, and neither could he to her, not when they were doing the work that they were. But to help ease him, she knew she could promise it for today. “Give me a kiss, you impossible man,” she said.

He did, and there was nothing better than a kiss after a fight. Of course they’d had arguments before and always made up shortly after, and sometimes a kiss was even better _during_ an argument, like the one they’d had after the first time he’d kissed her on the cliffs and that fight had turned into heated, desperately angry kisses to relieve the tension between them. Now they were here, she thought, opening her mouth to let his tongue pass through as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It had been about a year since the cliffs, and here they were making up yet again.

It was something that worked for them, she supposed.

Mei made a soft little sound when the kiss kept on going deep, delicious and hot and smoky. She’d never tasted anyone like him before, had never been kissed by anyone else in the way he always kissed her, big and explosive and outrageous and maybe even a bit dirty, just like how he was, and it made her hot. He knew how to use his tongue – expertly in other places too – and he even paired that explosive kissing with steamy touches along her body; rubbing his hands along her back and reaching down to cup her rear that drove him crazy. Mei knew there was another act that was better while making up too.

As she continued to kiss him, Mei took hold of him and started backing up to where she knew a twin mattress rested along the floor for when he would crash after working for so long. There was just one pillow and a thin blanket on it, but it had always been sufficient enough for them. Jamie blindly followed her at first, keeping his left hand on the cheek of her ass and the other clutching her waist, but when she eased down onto the mattress, taking him with her, he pulled their mouths apart.

“No, love,” he breathed, forcing himself to stop even though he was already half hard in his shorts. “Gotta take care of this bumped head of yours you ain’t got no business havin’ in the first place.”

Her hair was spread out around her and her eyes gleamed up at him behind her glasses. He knew that look, that gorgeous shine in her that told him she wanted to fuck, one he could never resist. Mei fluttered her lashes up at him as she reached down and started unbuttoning his shorts, pulling the zipper down.

“My head is fine, I promise you. All cleared for physical activity,” she said with a naughty grin.

“Why do you do this to me? You’re a bad influence on this poor susceptible junker.” Giving in, Jamie pushed her sweater up and off of her. His eyes traveled over her body, fingers drifting over the little scrapes she had here and there. “Gonna fry every last one of those Shimada’s,” he muttered darkly.

“Not every last one. Not Genji.” To distract him from making a decision like revenge he could never really seek by himself, Mei unbuttoned her own pants and shimmied out of them underneath him. She tossed her panties away too. “Just be with me now, Jamie, come on.” She took the back of his neck and pulled him down, kissing his lips. “You want to fuck me, don’t you?” she asked sweetly, reaching through his shorts with her other hand to grasp his hard cock.

Jamie groaned against her mouth. “I love it when you talk like that. No one else knows how _naughty_ the little snowflake really is.”

“Let’s make up properly,” she said, curling her fingers around his length and pumping her wrist some. She desperately wanted him, especially now after almost losing him. She didn’t know what she would have done if things had been unrepairable between them, and wasn’t that shocking? Who would have known they’d end up here?

“Just… tell me if you need to stop, yeah?” Jamie sighed from her squeezing, set his forehead on her shoulder and adjusted his legs. Hers were already wrapped around his waist. His hands gripped the mattress on either side of her waist when she guided him inside her, his hips automatically surging forward. “Mei… it killed me seeing you like that—“

“Don’t think about it,” she told him, holding his face again so he would look right at her. She wanted him here with her, not in the med bay room tormented and alone. “Make me come.”

He breathed out a laugh and kissed her lips, keeping them against hers when he started to fuck her. “Sure, darl, I can do that.”

She had to keep him on his feet, and in Japan she’d been victorious. If she couldn’t see his face anymore, if she couldn’t hear his voice or yell at him to bathe or let him know how much he was annoying her or even run her fingers through his wild hair when he slept beside her, Mei knew she just couldn’t go on. This impossible criminal bomber had gotten to her, and without him she couldn’t seem to function. He fucked her just the way she liked; slow but hard, dragging himself out before thrusting forward abruptly, making her gasp underneath him. He moaned against her mouth in between kisses, sliding his tongue past her lips and tasting hers, keeping up his steady pace before he would go a bit faster, panting. Mei gasped softly again, pushing her fingers into his hair or running her nails up his shoulders.

She begged him for more, he gave it and kissed her hungrily. He came in her, groaning and rolling his hips into hers, giving her enough until she whimpered under him, her nails digging and her legs quivering, pulsing around him until he fell on her.

It was still dim in his workshop and Mei was pretty sure the sun outside was setting by now. When he rolled off of her, Mei finally unhooked her bra and tossed it. Jamie’s shorts and his boot followed it, and with that thin blanket covering them, he gathered her close by her waist on their sides as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their noses were touching and all she did was run her hand up and down his stubbly cheek.

Mei playfully tapped him there when he snuck his tongue out and flicked it across her lips. “Stop,” she murmured, tired now.

“I guess we are goin’ back to normal, huh?”

“Yay for me,” Mei muttered, making him giggle, his body shaking softly as he did.

“I was right though, wasn’t I?” he asked, entwining their legs under the blanket, careful not to nick her with the right one. He was used to moving his body against hers. “The reason why you get so frustrated with me.”

She went quiet and remembered his words from the Hanamura shop. She’d panicked a bit when hearing them, didn’t know what to feel because it was entirely possible that he really was right. But after this, after saving his life and knowing she would do it again and again if she had to, after almost losing him…

_I think it’s ‘cause ya love me._

No panic, no cold, no uncertainty. Just him, and that was all she wanted.

“Yeah,” Mei murmured, allowing him his smug grin. Just as she’d known he loved her, he must’ve known it about her too. “Yeah, you were right.”


	3. Adrenalize Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One time, one night. One drunken mistake. A bad decision had never felt so good. Maybe it wasn't a mistake at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just reminding everyone that each chapter stands on its own unless I specifically mention it being a part of a certain universe. Only chapter one of this story follows Australian Kisses. Chapter two, and now chapter three, are set in their own timelines. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is very nsfw.

Mei gripped the glass in her hand, her fingertips turning a bit white from the pressure and her toe tapping underneath the table, but it wasn’t to the soft beat of the music drifting from the hidden speakers in the ceiling, and she wasn’t hanging onto her drink even though her head felt like it was steadily floating through zero gravity. Her lips were formed into a slight pout and her ears had long tuned out the chipper voices of her friends and teammates around her, but it wasn’t because her drink tasted bad or that the conversation bored her.

Her temper was flaring, like the flickering of a growing flame or the bubbling of boiling water.

She couldn’t stop looking over at him, no matter how many times someone sitting with her refilled her glass or asked her an unrelated question or made her laugh from some silly joke told. After each and every distraction, she would glance back over to the bar, stare at his back with irritation swelling in her brown hues even though he was doing nothing wrong, nothing attention seeking and nothing… well, dangerous at all. He just sat there drinking, like how they all were drinking, at least all who were left.

The jerk, she thought, her eyes narrowing, her tapping toe stopping so her fingernail could pick up the beat on her glass.

Jamison Fawkes, sitting over there alone at the bar. The most _infuriating_ man in the whole world.

Just staring at him made the boiling water that was her temper bubble up higher and spill over the pot.

The Overwatch base had been given the night, and the following morning, off. The team decided as a whole that they would take the precious opportunity to relax in what Winston called the recreational area for the hardworking agents of Overwatch to chill out with drink, music, and companionship. And that’s exactly what they’d been doing all night. Drinking, laughing, dancing.

Except Mei, who was having a hard time doing anything else other than staring at Jamison and waiting for him to screw up the entire night from some crazy shenanigan.

The rec area even looked like a bar one would find in a hotel. Winston wanted the place to look nice, and had worked with Lucio in designing it since their friend knew style. It wasn’t very big, but it was big enough to house a bar with a custom built serving droid, booths and tables, a system for music, and a cute dance floor for those who felt like cutting loose. There were even some arcade games against one wall, their screens flickering away with the promise of one great victory awaiting the player. It was a nice area, a safe one, and everyone had a few drinks in them.

Mei glanced around the room, calculating who was still left and who had stumbled off to bed. She sat at a table with Lucio and Lena, who were both softly singing the lyrics to the current song and giggling when one of them got a line wrong. Reinhardt and Ana were curled up together in one of the booths, both drinking something insanely strong that Mei swore she could smell from across the room. The sight of them laughing and chatting away was the only thing to make her smile before it would instantly fall again when she sought out the one riling up her temper. Mako and Jesse sat next to each other at the other end of the bar, quietly drinking as cigar smoke floated above them.

Not many people left, and it was late.

Her eyes found Jamison again. They fell into a glare and her nail – long now and painted a pretty baby blue – continued to tap away on her glass.

He’s such a jerk, such a bully, she thought to herself, even nodding for emphasis to prove it further. All he did around here was blow things up and laugh and make inappropriate jokes and sometimes even get Mako hurt when he had to rescue Jamie from himself because one stupid decision put _all_ of them in a bad position in the field. They were trying to do good work, work they were somehow _paying_ him to do, and he could barely follow one rule. He didn’t listen to anybody, he didn’t follow orders. He was bad and loud and played by his own rules that were obviously the reason why he only had two limbs left. He was everything Overwatch wasn’t.

In the dim lighting and the calm flow of the music around her, Mei’s expression faltered a little, her eyes going soft and her mouth releasing its pout as her gaze drifted over the back of him and the muscles under his skin.

Cursing sharply under her breath, Mei yanked her gaze away from Jamison.

“S’wrong, love?” Lena asked her, holding out her empty cup so Lucio could refill it once again.

Mei blinked and realized she must’ve been a little too loud. Maybe she should stop drinking and go to bed. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” To distract them, and herself, Mei chugged back the contents of her glass and gestured to Lucio for more as well. The three had decided earlier to share a bottle of wine that was now more than one bottle. She’d lost count a while ago. “I just… don’t like this song.”

For some reason, that made Lucio start to laugh as he rubbed his face before reaching for a datapad in his pocket. “I told you, Lena, I told you she would notice. I’ll change it right now, don’t worry, I got you.”

A new beat started around them, and after a moment or two – because she couldn’t seem to help it – Mei glanced back over at Jamie.

What was happening to her? How could she be so annoyed with someone and stare at him as much as she did? Why did she even _want_ to look at someone so volatile, someone who was her complete opposite in every single way? She should be ignoring him, should probably start campaigning to get him off the team in case something terrible happened, something that would get one of them hurt and render them unable to do their job to save the world. She hated him. She absolutely hated him.

She had to keep telling herself that because if she didn’t… her eyes would begin to wander. And she hated that even more.

He was driving her crazy. Him, Jamison Fawkes. Mako didn’t even bring out these feelings in her, just the younger junker and the insanity that came with him.

A new sensation zipped through her, and maybe it was some kind of epiphany, maybe it was the glass in her hand and all the drinks she’d sipped that had been poured into it, but suddenly she needed to walk over there and tell him just how much he annoyed her, and _didn’t_ fluster her. How much she didn’t want him around and _not_ somewhere she could see. How dangerous he was to their cause and not… _dangerously bad_.

That’s what she needed to tell him, how much she didn’t like him. She needed to tell him right now, and she would do just that because now, obviously, was the perfect time.

Taking a needed sip of her drink, Mei lifted herself from the chair, stood still when she swayed a bit on her feet, and kept her eyes right on Jamie as she made her way over to him with what she hoped looked like a stomp in her step and a determined spark in her eye.

Her gaze had been on him all night. Now she felt it had a purpose. It felt good, felt right.

She would tell him _exactly_ what she thought of him, just in case he hadn’t understood her feelings the first time.

Jamison didn’t seem to notice her when she came to stand at his side. He just sat in his stool, hunched over in some ridiculous black tank top that was way too big for him. There were drips of whatever dark liquid he was drinking all over the top of the bar and even a few scratches from him not paying attention to his robotic hand. Mei thought he would glance over at her when she hopped up onto a stool next to him, but he didn’t. It only frustrated her more, this _carelessness_ , so she decided to call out his name.

“Jamison,” she said sternly, and hoped to startle him.

He didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even acknowledge her. All he did, she saw now, was stare at the serving droid behind the bar whose only purpose was to wait for a drink order.

He still wasn’t answering her. Only when Mei opened her mouth to call his name again did he finally say something.

“This one,” Jamie said, lifting his living hand with his drink clutched in his grip and gesturing to the droid in front of him. “I got me eye on this one. Been watching him all night. Can you believe he’s just standin’ there making cocktails? Don’t trust him,” he grumbled, eyes narrowing. “I know I turn my back for one second, and he’s gonna pop something in my drink and poison me, I can see it in his eyes. All kinds of intensions in there.”

With her head all fuzzy, Mei glanced at the droid, even tried staring into what she assumed were its eyes before shaking her head and remembering her task. She wanted to do this and she would _do it_ , dammit. “Jamison Fawkes,” she said again.

Finally his head turned and he looked at her. His cheeks were pink and he smelled like whiskey, and even with her stern expression and her no-nonsense voice she’d used to call his name, he still grinned down at her. Like how he _always_ did, the maniac.

“Still up, eh? Didn’t take you for a pisser like the rest of us bar scum.”

Another thing that annoyed her to no end was the use of these words – or slang – she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand anything about it, and it especially set her off when he used that slang playfully to her, just to get a reaction. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“A pisser. Getting pissed. Shit-faced. Wasted.” He stopped, took a moment to think, then shrugged. “Don’t know what else to say, don’t know the Chinese word for drunk yet, but drunk you surely are, lady.”

“I’m not drunk,” Mei argued just because she felt the need to be defiant. “I’m not… _pissed._ ”

“Whatcha drinking?” He peered right into her glass to take a quick sniff, then chuckled at her when she snatched it away from him as if he would steal it. “Is that wine? Who drinks wine at this time of night? Wine is for pussy drinkers, like those two you been chugging ‘em back with over there. Where’s your fancy wine glass at, anyways? Proper lady you are.”

She groaned in frustration and held her drink away from him. She’d been drinking something a lot stronger than wine earlier in the evening. “Will you just… stop talking for one minute? I have something to say to you.”

“Oh, gee, I wonder what that could possibly be.” He was being sarcastic. A sarcastic _ass_ , is what he was. And he didn’t seem to care about what she had to say at all. “Hey, lets you and me do some shots, yeah? Or I can have this metal sonofabitch make us some margaritas! They’re like super good, darl, you’ll _love_ it.”

“I’m not _drinking_ with you,” Mei snipped, pointing one long blue nail at him. “This is exactly why I’m over here. You are an _impossible_ man, and no one around here seems to have the guts to tell you off.”

Jamie straightened up then, turned to stare down at her. She looked so mad, so riled up. Her hair was a bit messy from the night’s fun and she looked so casual in her blue tank that matched those long nails of hers. They were both pissed – no matter what she said – but still he felt interest zing up his spine. That same zing he tended to feel around her regardless of how many drinks he’d down. He decided to give her his full attention.

“So I guess the big brave one who’s come to spit and curse at me is you, then?”

“That’s right,” she nodded confidently, trying to stay put on the stool under her bottom. Balance was a little tricky at this point. “Jack says we need you, and that’s why everyone else has been silent. But I’m here to tell you exactly what I think of you.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a half grin. “Thought you did that the first day we met. I’m a no-good bully who can’t even look at himself in the mirror, right?”

She couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting down and catching that grin. What did he have to smile at and why was he always doing it? “Yes. I don’t trust you. You being here, with us, it doesn’t matter to me. I will never trust your intentions with Overwatch. After all the things you’ve done… you shouldn’t be here.”

“You got that right, girlie, even I know that.”

“Then… then why don’t you just leave?”

Jamie gave a shrug, turned forward and back to his drink. No ice this round. “Payday’s too good? I get to see the world without hiding from the coppers? Got a pillow under me head instead of a pile of dirt and a whole band of freaks to hide in from the bounty hunters? Any one of those answers acceptable to you?”

“So you’re just using the base? And Jack and Winston? That is _very_ admirable.”

“They’re usin’ me, aren’t they? One hell of a trade.”

Mei shook her head, attempted to flick her bangs out of her face when they fell in front of her glasses. “There must be something… in front of their eyes. It’s the only explanation.”

Jamie chuckled hoarsely, even showing his teeth. “You think those old war dogs don’t know what they’re doing? How disrespectful of you, lil’ lady.”

“ _You’re_ the disrespectful one,” she said, grabbing the counter when her sudden outburst almost made her fall off the stool. She quickly righted herself. “You’re a liar and you’re a dirty thief and you have no respect for the team or your temporary home. There’s a fire alarm every day with you here.”

“Not a liar,” he muttered, looking away for only a second before two shot glasses appeared in front of him. Jamie flinched as he stared at them, filled to the brim, then glanced up at the serving droid. He’d only mentioned shots forever ago, and there they were now. “The fuck is with this guy? You see this, Mei?” Shrugging because someone had to drink them, Jamie lifted the glasses one by one, chugging them back without asking Mei if she wanted one. “Not a liar,” he repeated after flicking the glasses away. “Never once lied to any of you blokes. You can call me a dirty thief all you want ‘cause that one’s true, but lying takes too much energy. I lie to you, now I gotta remember the story for when I lie to the next guy. One mistake and I’m caught in the act and gotta deal with the fallout. I’d rather just be me charming self.”

Mei blinked up at him when he winked at her. “I don’t believe you.”

He fisted his robotic hand and banged on the bar as he giggled, creating more scratches. “See, love? What’s the point of lying then?”

“Well… Um…” Maybe she should stop drinking, Mei distantly thought. Her pride had kept her away from him but there had always been colorful words she’d wanted to say just because he was so… He was so…

She wouldn’t say _alluring_. The high horse she was on right now to give him a piece of her mind was all because of her drinking, but it was also making those colorful words fly away. She had always wanted to seem… professional around him.

“Well I think your smiley face… brand thing… is stupid. It’s foolish, and immature.” They were good words, but didn’t they kind of mean the same thing? Mei didn’t bother with it. “I think it makes Overwatch seem foolish and immature too. You’re going to get everyone killed with your crazy antics and your _disregard_ of other people.”

She was a cute one. He’d always thought so, since the first moment he’d laid his amber eyes on her disapproving brown ones. She was everything he didn’t know, and he’d been drawn to her instantly. She was far more interesting than the middle aged man dressed as a cowboy or the giant old bloke with a voice as loud as an explosion, or even the scary ghost man they battled out in the field. She was also _extremely_ sexy.

Even when she was snipping at him and freezing any of his efforts to flirt with her, she was still _flaming hot_.

But there was only so much a guy could take before he would start to lose his buzz.

“Alright, fine, you said what you came here to say, I guess. You’re killin’ the vibe, just want to drink here alone. Why don’t you head back to those two giggling idiots over there, yeah?”

Of all the things she expected him to say, _dismissing_ her like that had not been one of the options. Mei took a moment before she responded, defensively of course. “Don’t call them that. And you’re a _giggling_ idiot all the time!”

“Yeah, _sober_. It’s who I am, not pissed outta my mind. They only act like that when they’re intoxicated. Don’t know why they wanna hang out with you anyways. Fuck’s sake, I thought you’d be a fun drunk. Didn’t know you’d be so bloody _mean_.”

Mei gasped sharply, her big eyes widening and her heart almost breaking in her chest. “I’m not _mean_. I’m not mean,” she repeated firmly, as if it would convince him. “ _You’re_ mean.”

“Again, _I’m_ not a liar, I’m _exactly_ who I am _all the time_. You, on the other hand,” he continued, pointing one metal finger at her, “prance around this place with your big doe eyes and your pretty smile and that big smart brain of yours and act like you’re so sweet and so tender and so damn _cute_ , and then you’re ready to _chop_ my head clean off after I say literally two words to you. Two _friendly_ words, as I was just tryin’ to be friendly. I’ve never said anything mean to you, and yet every single time you see my face you have to prance over here again and tell me how _terrible_ I am, how much of a _bully_ ol’ Junkrat is, how I can barely look at me own face because I’m such a _scoundrel_. You don’t say those things to Roadie, do you? Nope, just me, the dirty thief.”

During his speech, her mouth hung open in shock. How dare he say those things to her? She’d done nothing wrong, she’d only been trying to protect her job, her goal, and her friends from a crazy junker.

Maybe the alcohol was giving him some liquid courage too.

“I only acted like that because I don’t trust you, because I have to be cautious. We’re trying to save the world and then we bring on two criminals who’ve terrorized multiple countries? What would you have me do instead? Blindly become your friend?”

“Well you could’ve _tried_ ,” Jamie argued, rolling his eyes at her, which made her flinch. “And that’s exactly it. _Morrison_ brought us on. What, you don’t trust him either? Speaking of him, I think it’s right time I bring _Jackie_ into this, considering these are unfit working conditions. This place is _completely_ unsafe for me.”

She couldn’t tell if he was joking, she just couldn’t tell. She could barely comprehend the drastic turn this conversation had taken. “You… aren’t serious.”

“First time for everything, eh? Why are you even over here, anyhow? If you hate me so much why don’t you go drink with Roadie, your _preferred_ junker? This place _sucks_ ,” he mumbled, placing his hands on his face and rubbing hard. “Back in Oz we drink beer and knock each other’s teeth in. At least then we have some fun.”

Something was wrong with her, she thought. Something like… her feelings being hurt. But why were they hurt? She didn’t care about him or his opinion. “So is that what you want to do, knock my teeth in?”

He groaned into his hands. “That’s not what I said.”

“But you want to, don’t you? Because I’m so _mean_?”

“And they call me the crazy one. _You_ , miss, are drivin’ _me_ crazy!” Jamie then squeaked when he saw a bottle of an Australian brand of beer before him on the bar, nice and cold with the cap popped off and ready for that first swig. His gaze snapped right on the droid, and narrowed suspiciously. “This scrapheap’s readin’ my mind!”

“Maybe you should just go back to Oz then if you hate it here so much,” Mei grumbled. And no, she was not whining. She wasn’t a drunk whiner.

“First of all, you aren’t allowed to call it Oz, only Aussie’s are allowed to call it Oz. And third of all, I think we should blow this bot for eavesdropping. It’s _impolite_.”

“You missed your second point. And I would like one of those too. Please.”

Jamie scoffed as the droid slid over the same brand of beer to her, one she instantly took a pull from. “If you ain’t gonna leave, then I’m gonna leave.”

“If you’re going to leave, then I’m going to leave too. And this is nasty beer,” she added.

But both stayed right where they were, still drinking away stubbornly.

There was silence then, and Mei didn’t seem to like it. She was still riled up, still hearing his words in her head and she was waiting for the headache they would give her. But all she felt was the need to keep talking to him. Some strange, strange need.

“I have some more things to say to you,” she said suddenly.

“Shocking,” he chirped sarcastically, and downed the bottle so he could start on the second one that also seemed to materialize in front of him.

 

* * *

 

 

 

At the other end of the bar, what felt like a mile away, Jesse leaned back on the bar stool where his poncho was draped, tapping his cigar over a nearby ashtray. This was the quiet end apparently, since world war three seemed to be raging on down the counter. He pointed the smoking end of the cigar in that very direction.

“Looks like they’re at it again,” he commented lazily to his drinking buddy, though he was sure Roadhog wouldn’t want to be called that. But the big man _was_ his drinking buddy, dammit. He’d been sitting next to him all night in wonderful silence.

Under the mask, Mako’s eyes glanced up, examined the entire scene down the bar. He sighed deeply. All he wanted was the sit here in silence and relax, maybe breathe in more of that intoxicating smell of McCree’s smoke. The cowboy was the perfect companion for just that.

Roadhog only answered by making a deep grumble noise.

“Isn’t it your job to go break them up? What if she smacks that bottle over his hard head?”

“He’s fine,” Roadhog answered. “And if she does… I’m sure he’ll deserve it.”

Jesse chuckled, patting a hand on top of his hat as he leaned over the counter. “What kinda bodyguard are you?”

“Agreed to protect him from the bounty hunters, not women he pisses off. So if you happen to go over there and lay a hand on him, then I suppose I’ll be smashing your face through the wall.”

“A man always likes to see it comin’, I guess.” He continued to lounge, continued to drink and smoke, but he kept his steady gaze on the two down the bar. Just in case. “I think she likes him.”

Roadhog gruffed out what Jesse assumed was a wheezy laugh.

“Being serious here, friend. Those two bicker night and day, yet neither’s filed any kind of report or even quit? She went up to him, now they’re drinkin’ together. She’s always looking at him too,” he added, holding the cigar between his teeth before continuing. “I notice these things, and the cure for all that bickerin’ is to go a few rounds in the sack. They’ll feel much better after. Lotta funky frustration wafting between ‘em.”

“I think you’ve had too much to drink. You, the drunk.”

“I ain’t a drunk,” Jesse muttered arguably. “And you sayin’ I don’t know women? I know women, all right.”

“You simply saying that you know women tells me you know nothing about women. Men who really know women don’t say things like that.”

Well now his pride stung a little bit there. McCree turned his head to Mako, tipped his hat up a bit so he could look him right in the eye. Or what he hoped was the pig man's eye. “You wanna make this a bet? Make it interesting? Twenty credits says they start sucking each other’s faces before they pass out.”

“Deal.” Roadhog didn’t really care either way, but betting on something so silly _was_ interesting, and he had a lot of cash to spend on something interesting. Plus, it would be entertaining to see how that bickering played out and so very gratifying to rub it in the cowboy’s face if Mei slapped Jamison away from her.

Jesse huffed again, settling in his stool to watch the show before them. “I know women,” he muttered under his breath.

“Sure you do,” Mako agreed with arrogance in his gruff voice. “You know women _so well_ , yet you’re here, sitting next to me.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You frighten everyone,” Mei said harshly, gesturing a little too hard with her beer bottle. “No one can ever do their jobs because they’re constantly having to look after you. You wear poor Angela down, she’s worried you’ll blow off your other leg.”

“She ain’t got no business worryin’ about me, so she’s to blame there. I didn’t ask her to patch me up.”

“She automatically worries because she’s your doctor!”

Jamie threw his hands up in the air and growled in frustration. “Fine then! I fuck up her life too, anyone else?”

“You don’t…” Mei took a moment, took a breath. She even took another drink for more time. This strange dark beer was starting to grow on her, and she wanted more of it. “You don’t… fuck up anyone’s life,” she continued softly, although everyone left around them was now either asleep, or falling out of their chairs. She felt weird, like her emotions were all over the place and she couldn’t contain them at all. Not knowing what else to say, she sighed quietly, “I cursed. I just cursed.”

Hearing her soft little voice and her confession that felt laced with innocent guilt, Jamie looked over at her. A big laugh bubbled up in his chest, but somehow he kept it down as he stared at her.

His face felt hot, especially after those shots and all the beer and everything that had come before it, but he also felt pretty good. Better than being sober and feeling the pains in his body and the clusterfuck in his brain and the very _overwhelming_ world around him that was sometimes too much, even for a guy like him. Hearing her voice felt good in his ears too, and wasn’t that a strange feeling? She was saying nothing nice, as usual, but maybe it was a bit better than not hearing her at all, ever. He liked conversation and Roadie didn’t talk much, and the rest of the freaks around here didn’t come up to him to strike up a chat very frequently. But she did. Maybe it wasn’t very friendly, but it wasn’t like he was the nicest of guys either. Jamie blinked his eyes to look at her, _really_ look at her.

As he stared at her, he thought she looked so hot, it was making him sweat. And his irritation seemed to be evaporating so that he could feel something else.

What was going on here? he wondered. First he wanted her to go away, now all he wanted to do was stare at her drinking beer. She even looked brighter, as if she were a flame and he a stupid bug zipping right over to marvel at her.

“I like cursing,” he said, turning in his stool to face her. He needed to keep feeling more of that heat, see more of that alluring shine. “I think hearing you curse finally makes Overwatch fun. I’m a fun guy.”

“You’re not,” she argued, clutching her beer in both hands. What was this silly resistance inside her? “You’re insane. I would want you to get help if you didn’t have such a long record, stealing and destroying other people’s property everywhere you go. People matter, you know. The world _matters,_ and you just… set it on fire.”

She was cute. She was so cute, so pretty, and now he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Jamie placed his elbow on the bar, leaned his chin in his palm. “Do I set you on fire too?”

“Yes. No! I mean no, you absolutely don’t.” Mei groaned softly when he started to giggle, his eyes going bright. “It’s only a matter of time before you burn this base to the ground.”

“Nah, I’d never do that. At least, not with you still inside it.”

It was suddenly very hot in here, a little too hot for her. Mei even glanced around to make sure he hadn’t set something around them ablaze. Everything seemed fine, perfectly in order. But something wasn’t… the same as before. Something had shifted. Was it her, or was it him? “I don’t believe that either. I think, if given the chance, you’d lock me in some closet and leave me there while the place came down because I’m so _mean_.”

There was that half grin again. It took Mei a bit longer to tear her gaze away from it, and the shiny gold tooth she’d spotted.

“You don’t really know this rat at all, do you?” Jamie told her. “I think, if given the chance, I’d lock you up in the closet… but I would go in there with you. Just the two of us.”

She flinched back and her eyes narrowed. Okay, maybe her head was a little fuzzy, but surely she knew what he was getting at. “What are you saying?”

“I’m sayin’ that you are one ace lady. Look at you, Mei, you’re so damn _cute_. Even when you’re clawing at me like a velociraptor, you’re still so fuckin’ sexy I can barely stay mad at you.”

What was going on? she asked herself, wondering if she was hallucinating from this strange beer. Her heart was starting to pitter patter in her chest and her palms were starting to sweat. “You can’t… you can’t say things like that to someone who doesn’t like you. Why would you say things like that to someone who doesn’t like you? You… you called me mean.”

He gave a shrug, and she noticed that one of the straps of the black tank that didn’t fit him in the slightest was about to fall off his shoulder. “Maybe… you do like me? Deep on the inside. I like you, even when you’re bein’ a right pain in the ass.”

Mei stared blankly at him, not sure how to respond. He wasn’t allowed to say that she liked him. And he most certainly wasn’t allowed to like her. How could he? she asked herself. How could he like someone who was always so hard on him? How could he say she was cute and sexy and… _ace_ , when all she did was try to get him to leave Overwatch?

Mei froze, stared down at her hands.

And since when did she act like that to _anyone_?

 _Maybe she really was mean_ …

She wasn’t thinking very clearly, was _unable_ to think clearly after all the drinks, so she went right into default mode and reacted in the only way she knew how to react when it came to him.

“If anyone is a pain around here, it’s you, Jamison Fawkes, and certainly not me.”

“Right,” he sighed, and arched his back so he could burp. “Back to square one.”

“Yes, back to square one. You can’t _like_ me. You’re _terrible_.”

“And you’re beautiful. Ha, and now you’re blushing.”

Mei automatically lifted her hand and touched her cheekbone. Was she blushing? She couldn’t tell, it was too hot in here all of a sudden. She liked the beer now and he smelled like it, a smell that was making her insides warm and her limbs go loose. Just looking at him made her heat up; the sight of him always had. But now the heat paired with a flutter, a strange flip in her lower stomach that had to be because of the all the alcohol. Yeah, that’s what it was.

But it felt so very intense.

And again… she didn’t know what to do other than get extremely defensive. Maybe this was the only way she knew how to be around him simply because she didn’t understand him at all.

Flustered now as her lips formed into another pout, Mei said, “You can stop feeling so proud because I most certainly am _not_ blushing. I don’t blush for men like you. And I don’t like you. I only like good, _responsible_ men.”

“Oh yeah?” Jamie asked curiously, a brow lifting high. He sat up perfectly straight and eased his shoulders back. “Do good, _responsible_ men carry themselves like this? All high and mighty? I once worked for a fancy suit, ya know. Went legit is what me and Roadie did for a little while, till that old bastard fucked us over good. And I know you’re blushin’, darl, I can see it. Your eyes are all sparkly and you’ve scooted closer and you're _still_ here, talking to me.”

Her brow twitched and her jaw clenched. Instinctively, she eased away from him. “You’ll never be a good, responsible man because you’ll always be a cruel junker who steals and burns.”

Why was she saying these things? Why was she really being so mean? It wasn’t like her at all and right now she didn’t even know who she was. What was wrong with her?

Mei couldn’t, just _couldn’t_ , accept the fact that maybe he was right. Maybe she did like him.

And she hated it for some reason she couldn’t explain.

“I can be good,” Jamie argued, still doing so cheerfully. “Saved each and every one of these nongs at least once. And I can be responsible. Look, I even put on a shirt before I came down here. Looks nice, eh? A little big, but nice.”

“I think the only reason why you’re so obsessed with bombs is because you’re scared to fight someone like a real man. You need to hide behind fire and destruction because you aren’t tough enough for face to face confrontation. That’s not a good and responsible man, that’s being a coward.”

As soon as she said it… Mei wished more than anything that she could take it back.

Her mouth snapped closed and they both went completely silent. The bright eyes and the playful, lazy grin on his face melted right off, as if she’d severely burned him and even Jamison Fawkes couldn’t take the scorching heat. He didn’t look at her for the longest time, looked nowhere but right in front of him at nothing, his mouth set in a firm line.

This was worse, Mei decided, than the fluster, than the rolling in her belly, than the frustration and the blushing and the confusion she felt when it came to him. This… disappointment in herself hurt her more than when he’d hurt her feelings earlier by saying she was mean. Because she _was_ mean, she concluded. That had been a very mean thing to say.

“Jamison—“

His head turned to her, and in his eyes she saw the fire. “You think I’m a coward.”

“I… I, um—“

“Now she doesn’t know what to say,” Jamie murmured, and there was no grin, no playfulness, nothing except enough fury to set his hair ablaze again. He spun in his stool in her direction so fast she jumped back a little, but somehow she couldn’t move away, couldn’t jump off her seat, offer some weak apology and sneak off in shame. “Let me tell you a little something, _princess_. You have no idea what it truly means to be a coward, or to even be brave. You will never see the things I’ve seen, you will never fight the fights I’ve fought, and you will never feel the pain I’ve felt. You can’t stand the way I am? Why don’t you ask the precious, _fucking_ world you love so much what they did to keep me from becoming a junker?”

Mei swallowed, then spoke hastily. “I’m sorry—“

“There are people out in this world who would make that tender heart in your chest _explode_ from the things they’ve done, people you couldn’t possibly imagine exist. Real _monsters_ , and the only way to get rid of them is to set them on fire. I’ve done that, I’ve watched monsters _burn_. You ever seen a dead kid? No? Course not ‘cause you just play in the pretty snow like a good girl, don’t you? Pretty things for the pretty lady.”

She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what else to say. All she could do was stare up at him, her glasses sliding down her nose and her mouth a little bit open, all of her absorbing his words, absorbing him. Even in the field she’d never seen him like this, a man raw from life and willing to take on those he saw as monsters. She knew where he came from and yet it hadn’t stopped her insensitive remarks, and she felt the ache in her chest to apologize again and again. But there was something else about him, this raw man who’d slain monsters. Who’d burned very bad people. She’d never seen him like this, after everything they’d been through.

She felt… _captivated_ , as if he were luring her in with a sweet song.

For some reason she wanted to follow it.  

“You ever starve, Mei-Ling?” he continued, his voice deep, dark, dangerous. And his burning eyes the very same. “You ever been so hungry you were willing to trade anything for a bite? Ever gone to your knees to beg for a sip of water? I know what that feels like. But you see, eventually I learned that if you had the right firepower, begging would be a thing of the past. When you control the fire in the palm of your hand, you can have whatever you want. So I _take_ what I want, _always._ I won’t beg ever again.”

She hated him, she hated him so much, and maybe that was just a try at convincing herself it was true. But imagining him conquering his land, imagining him taking what he wanted… Those last words of his created a shiver up her spine. She even inhaled softly from the sensation. He smelled like the delicious beer she’d consumed and it wafted through her head like perfume, or that sweet song.

He’d been fine, Jamie thought, then he’d been annoyed at her, now he was furious. But that anger was mingling with something else, something that was steadily taking hold of him with every second he stared at her face, into her eyes, so close to her lovely body that was making appealing little sounds the more he spoke. He wasn’t just angry.

Now he was in the mood to _take_ too.

“I’m not a coward,” he said to her deeply, leaning down a little closer and watching the way her eyelids lowered ever so slightly, the way her mouth opened just a little more and the way her chin tilted up a tad. “I’m the guy who figured it all out. And I’ll be the last man standing in the end while the rest of you have all tried to be _good_ and _responsible_ and all that other useless _shit_. I don’t ever want to hear you say that to me again.” Jamie stopped, thinking as much as a man with too many drinks in him could think. All he could really do was feel. And he felt… something. “Any other time… I can take this smart mouth of yours.”

Something between them, she thought, keeping her eyes on his. Something thick and strong like smoke, hot like fire. But also something strangely intoxicating and indulging like each glass they tipped back to swallow burning alcohol. It was exactly like a drink, what she felt now, what she thought he was feeling too. You knew it was bad for you, you knew it turned you into someone you normally weren’t, and you knew the next day you would have a regret or two on your mind. But you drank anyway even knowing all of those things because you wanted to, because you wanted to let loose, to forget.

Because it made your insides feel good in the moment, and you wanted to keep feeling the burn.

He was like a drink, and she was already drunk.

Why not keep drinking?

On an impulse, Mei leaned up and forward and kissed his mouth. It was sloppy and clumsy and she was pretty sure she accidentally dragged her tongue over his bottom lip when she’d meant to just give him a peck, but she did it and he tasted like beer and whatever else he’d been drinking during the evening and it was sweet and strong and exciting and it made that slight shiver in her spine turn into a hard shake. It was like she’d taken a sip of him, a sample, and it was dark and yummy and smoky. She wanted another gulp.

It was so quick he hadn’t had any chance to respond. One second her mouth was there and then she’d pulled right back, glancing up at him with her big inquiring eyes. Jamie just looked at her, felt the sizzle on his lips and licked at them, tasting her there again.

“That’s good,” he growled down at her, and hopped off the stool to lean against her as she grabbed him and yanked him closer. Their mouths instantly opened, and drank.

Dark, yummy, smoky, she thought, kissing him deeply, holding him close. He was like whiskey, burning her throat but warming her insides; a little too strong for her, but it was an invigorating taste. He pressed her against the stool and she moaned inside his mouth from the force, their hands clawing, grabbing, holding on tight because if they couldn’t stand to be around each other, then maybe this was the only way they could deal. It was a lot better than bickering, and he was really good with his mouth. Forgetting where she was because all she wanted to do was keep him against her, Mei even spread her legs and trapped him between them, wrapping them around him as her arms did the same.

Suddenly she wanted him, suddenly she wanted to be naked and tangled around him just like that, bare and sweaty and hot. They weren’t at the bar and no one was around, and she seemed to be getting her wish when his hands snaked under her tank and pushed up, ready to touch her. She panted against his mouth, took the back of his neck and appreciated when he slid his tongue between her lips again, groaning against her like it would kill him if he didn’t continue. The stool was starting to tilt back with her in it from his pressing but she barely noticed it, just hung on and ate at him; what did a falling chair matter when she felt this good? They could just continue on the floor if she fell out…

“Alright, break it up, you two. Jesus.”

Suddenly Jamie made a soft yelp full of resistance as he was pulled away from her, leaving her there on a stool that righted itself and her legs spread and her face flushed and lips kissed and glasses askew. She took a breath, focused on the men before her when they finally came into focus. Jamie was swaying on his feet - or one foot and prosthetic that made him already unstable enough - with Jesse trying to hold him up.

“Much as I like making money, no one here wants to see you two devour each other, it’s nasty.” With Jamie in one arm, McCree took Mei’s hand and helped her from the stool. She blindly went with him because when drunk, guidance was an attractive thing. “That kinda fun is best behind closed doors, or you could just fall face first into your pillows, I don’t care much. But no more slobberin’ all over each other out in the open.”

He led them both to the exit of the recreational room, pointing them in the direction of the dorms where everyone slept. Being drunk himself, Jesse was having a hard time holding Jamie up. The kid wasn’t thicker, but he was taller, and that always added more weight.

“Jesse, he said I was mean,” Mei told him, leaving a hand on his shoulder to steady herself as she used the other to wipe at her mouth.

“None of my business, I’m stayin’ out of this one.”

“You- you have a pretty face, mate,” Jamie slurred, his demeanor completely different when speaking to someone who wasn’t Mei. He lifted his living hand and tapped Jesse’s cheek a few times. “I hate this pretty face. You look _disgusting_.”

“Off to bed, both of you.” Jesse heaved him up and away, pointing like a parent in the direction of their rooms. “Don’t care which bed either of you end up in, just get to it.”

Mei and Jamison started off to the dorms, shuffling next to each other side by side with Mei tugging at her tank and trying her best to compose herself. Jesse turned and dragged his feet back to the bar, taking his glass in hand and downing the contents. A crisp twenty had been placed next to his ashtray.

Grinning, he turned to Roadhog and said, “Twenty more says they hook up tonight.”

With his big arms folded on the counter – and Jesse swore the pig man had taken a drag at his smoke when he’d left to break the smooching up – Mako replied, “Fine.”

Jesse tilted his head. “You got no confidence in your boy, do you?”

Roadhog gave a soft laugh. “Just bein’ me. She can’t be that stupid.”

“Do you really bet against him every time or are you just keeping our game going?”

“There’s no bet if I agree with you, and that’s no fun.” He couldn’t take it anymore, and lifted one giant finger to point at McCree’s cigar. “You got another one of those?”

Jesse gave a nod. “Night’s still young, partner.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Don’t follow me,” Jamie muttered under his breath.

“I won’t, I sleep over here too,” Mei told him, turning her nose up in the air even though they both continued walking next to each other. Instantly she went back on her word. “You’re still angry.”

“Don’t talk to me either.”

She pouted, but still tried her hardest to look uninterested in him. She felt woozy – in a good way – and still felt the rush of making out with him, and maybe that was why she felt so light. But Jesse was right, out in the open was not the place to act like a fool full of lust she didn’t know she had in her. And is that even what she felt? Mei wondered, glancing over at him as he dragged himself forward, hobbling a little more than usual. She couldn’t stand to look at him or hear his voice after all the arguments of the evening and horde of emotions, but she also wanted to keep feeling that rush, that surge of excitement and that burn of whiskey.

He was mad at her and she wasn’t very pleased with him at the moment either. Maybe it was best they both go to bed, and stay away from each other. Maybe that’s the only way one wouldn’t end up murdering the other. Mei spotted her door, pictured her bed behind it. Her big, fluffy bed with pillows for her back and sheets to wrap around herself. She was still so hot, still somehow full of adrenaline. She wanted to burn it off more than anything.

She stopped at her door, turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. There was that shiver again, that hard shake. She remembered the way he’d loomed over her, eyes steamy and presence somehow as big as an explosion. He’d called her cute and sexy and had kissed her until her head spun, until she’d been absolutely ready to fall to the floor and rip her clothes off. God, he was so infuriating.

“Jamison,” she called, and her voice made him stop, made him peer over at her with eyes still blazing with angry fire. Maybe he somehow heard her intentions in her voice but he still looked threatening and done with her. Mei leaned against her door and said, “Come in.”

He didn’t answer her, just looked at her. No flick of the brow or shock in his eyes or questions to ask. It annoyed her a little bit that he showed not an ounce of surprise at her proposition. It would’ve been so much better if he’d flinched and pointed at his chest as if to say, “Who, me? Really?” That reaction would’ve given her the upper hand, and it was something she oddly always wanted around him. Maybe because she never felt like she could handle him.

He was a fire she didn’t know how to put out, or even control. Loss of control was not something she dealt well with anymore.

But when with him… it was very thrilling. Like this it was thrilling, her wanting him to come in to her bedroom.

Mei wouldn’t force him, but something told her he reluctantly wanted to accept her offer even though he wasn’t happy with her at the moment for her cruel words. He stood still and silent a few feet away, as if weighing his options or wondering what on earth he should do. She didn’t know what was going through his head – she never knew and it infuriated her – but her suspicions were confirmed when he shuffled forward slowly, boot laces untied and eyes right on hers. He was reluctant, she saw, waiting for him against her door. He didn’t want to be near her and yet… he did.

She supposed it was the perfect summation of their complicated relationship.

He was tall, so very tall, but Mei didn’t let his height stop her. Another trait of him that was oddly thrilling. He appeared as if he were walking to his doom, but he didn’t stop, not until he was right in front of her, so close she could feel little brushes of his too big tank against her own. Both seemed to be frowning, and it was for a number of things. The frustration they constantly felt around each other, the anger for the things she’d said, the disappointment in herself for saying them, and the annoyance that all they wanted to do was crash into each other and kill that frustration that made them suffer. It was a cycle, a never-ending one that would go on and on and on as long as they continued this terrible dance. Something had to give, something had to change. Maybe this would be the cure. Not the best solution, but still.

Mei went to her tip toes, slowly reached up for his face and pulling him down some to meet her. She didn’t care if he was mad at her, he was here, wasn’t he? Obviously he wanted to make this mistake too, and hopefully neither would remember it in the morning. Benefits of drinking, she supposed. She wanted his fire, wanted to be filled with it, wanted that burn so badly because sometimes bad things were fun and an escape and somehow only he could see the part of her that wasn’t always bright smiles and fluffy snow and a cute face. When she could reach him, she kissed his unresponsive mouth, just pecked him softly a few times, sampling him like wine. She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him right where she wanted him, sighed against him and dragged the tip off her tongue over his lips to encourage him to move.

Finally he did. With his eyes still open and watching her carefully, he reached forward for her waist, his fingertips sinking in deep. She gasped softly against his mouth from his touch.

“You say those things to me,” he murmured darkly on her mouth, pressing her against her bedroom door, “and now you want me to fuck you.”

His vulgar words didn’t deter her. In fact, they made her want him more, and she hated that very response. “There isn’t a gun to your head, Jamison,” she reminded him.

“I think there is, and you’ve already taken a shot. I think there’s one on you too.” He didn’t kiss her lips just yet, but he did kiss her chin and her jaw, her mouth falling open slightly from the strange tenderness. “I _really_ feel like pullin’ the trigger.” He lifted his robotic hand between them, placed the tip of the index finger under her chin to mimic a gun. “Pow,” he whispered against her face.

“I can’t stand you,” she said, grabbing the back of his head and forcing his mouth on hers.

He did kiss her back then, opening wide and devouring her. It was messy and deep and she felt the points of his teeth, but it was good and dark and she wanted more, more, more. Like one drink after another until she was drunk all over again.

Jamie made her pant against her door, made her lift one of her legs to rub her thigh on his side when he sucked at her lips, when he moved his biting mouth down to her neck to nip at her there too. He felt her busy hands; one tangled in his messy hair and the other pushing up under his tank, dragging her long blue nails over his abs. He pressed against her so hard that her breasts were crushed against him and suddenly he needed her naked. It was an ache like intense hunger he’d accused her of never truly feeling.

He was _very_ hungry for her, and he would rip her apart for her taste like a dingo.

“You can’t stand _me_ ,” he restated, dragging his teeth over the length of her neck before he got to her mouth again. “But it’s _you_ who has the rotten mouth. You think you can spit at me like a wildcat and then use me when you wanna get plowed?”

“You want me too,” she breathed against him.

“Oh, I do. I’ve been wanting to get my claws on this body since the day I saw you, throwin’ a fit ‘cause two junkers were gonna help you crazy lot save the bloody world. Well, if you’re offering, then I guess this rat is gonna _take_ whatever the hell he wants.” He leaned forward and sunk his teeth into her bottom lip before pulling back. “I’ll make you beg me for it.”

She couldn’t correct him because suddenly his mouth was on hers again as his hand fumbled behind her to get her door open. Mei found that she didn’t _want_ to correct him, because suddenly the prospect of rough hate sex was something she wanted terribly, and this junker was the one to give it to her. The thrill, the adrenaline, pumped through her like blood as she kissed him, as he held her up on her wobbly feet when the door pushed open behind her back. It was swiftly closed and locked behind them, and all that mattered was his grasping hands and biting mouth and soft sucking noises and that weird stumble people did when they were trying to make out but still get to the bed. On one hand she was excited, and on the other she hated him for making her feel this way. For aggravating her to the point where she craved him.

Maybe, when her head was clearer and neither of them smelled like alcohol, she would reassess her feelings for him, because something was amiss if this is where they would end up.

Mei sighed when he separated their mouths only to inhale sharply when he suddenly pushed her onto her bed. She went to walk like a crab back onto her fluffy pillows, expecting him to follow, but instead he grabbed her ankle and kept her right where she was; near the foot of the bed with him standing right in front of it. Looming over her like a fire demon.

“Time to get naked,” he said with a big grin, the same one that was always plastered on his face before a battle he expected to win with destruction. “Start from the bottom, work your way up. Start with these.” He tapped on her boots, then simply stood there to watch her carry out his orders.

She didn’t care, only wanted to be rid of her clothes. Mei kicked off her snow boots, stopped for just a moment when he did the same to his one shoe, flinging it off carelessly. She eased onto her back on her bed, studied his face when he watched her fingers work on untying her pants so she could slide them down her legs. She’d never really stripped for a man like this before. Every other time, she’d been undressed or they’d both remove their clothes at the same time to hastily get to the goal. Jamison’s amber gaze drifted from her hips down to her legs and to her feet, staring at every inch when she tossed her pants to the floor. They finally settled on her panties, and with eyes as intense as his, she assumed he wanted to take them off her himself.

“Go on,” he demanded with a brisk nod, hovering over her and not looking away from her crotch.

Mei swallowed softly before pulling her panties down and off. There was a pump in her chest, her galloping heart, and it gave her this building desire to listen to him, to do everything he would ask of her. She’d never felt that before… but she thought she liked it.

It was _exhilarating_.

“What a beaut you are,” he murmured, instantly lifting a flesh finger and tracing it down the middle of her cunt. He heard her sigh deeply and felt the slight tremble in her thighs when he spread them. He placed both thumbs on either side of her wet cunt to spread her there too. Without asking for permission, he leaned forward and licked her, his lips instantly enveloping her clit.

She sucked in a breath and moaned it out, squirming a bit on top of her comforter. It was all so overwhelming. One second ago they were fighting, now his face was between her legs. And somehow it felt better, she decided, tilting her hips up to encourage him for more. Why was it better? Why was she acting like this?

She couldn’t think about it anymore. All she wanted was for it to continue, like the hot wet glide of his tongue.

“Jamie,” she breathed, her eyes drifting closed and her bed a heavenly cloud beneath her. “That feels so good.”

His eyes snapped up to her and his mouth stopped moving, although it stayed right on her pussy. She’d looked so delicious that he hadn’t been able to stop himself from tasting her, but her sweet little moans and encouraging words pulled him out. She thought she was so smart and so good and so pure, but he saw the real Mei-Ling and she wasn’t just those descriptions. She’d said countless hurtful things to him, and for that he would turn her into mush and make her beg. Just like he’d promised her.

Jamie pulled off her clit with a soft little suck, deciding to keep her wetness on his face so she would see with her own eyes how _the bully_ made her body react. He stood up, disregarded her little pout that told him she wanted him back between her legs. It quickly left her face when she saw him unbuckling his shorts.

He didn’t wear any underwear and it didn’t surprise her. In fact, she couldn’t even muse on it because her head was clouded by lust, especially after that soft sucking moments before. She eyed his hard cock and instantly wanted it inside her. She even reached forward with the intention of getting her grip on it.

He batted her hand away. “Get up, onto your pillows.”

Mei then got to crab-walk, watching him carefully when he hopped onto the bed to crawl with her, above her, heated eyes on hers.

“So you’re really gonna do it?” he asked, and his voice was deadly, but that cheerful deadly as if there was something for him to blow up. “Really gonna let this _terrible bully_ fuck you, eh? You’re already so wet, Mei-Ling. Drippin’ all over your pretty sheets. Bet I can make you wetter.” Jamie then took her waist and heaved her up onto her pillows, propping her up slightly so she would be displayed beneath him like a yummy dish. “Wanna see how wet you are for ol’ Junkrat? Yeah, let me show you.”

Before she could ask, Mei watched him reach between her legs and felt his middle finger wiggle at her hole before sliding inside her. She tensed up just a little, but quickly relaxed when he pumped it in and out, making sure the pad dragged over her sweet spot again and again. Her dazed expression must’ve told him she was enjoying it when she heard his soft giggle. Pleased with himself, he pulled it out. One very shiny middle finger.

“Have a taste,” he commanded, holding up that finger to her mouth now. “Go on, darl. You’re fuckin’ delicious.”

After a brief moment of hazy contemplation, Mei slowly opened her mouth. Jamie eased his finger inside, rubbed it on her tongue. She tasted the tangy sweetness of herself and the musky flavor of his own skin. She wrapped her rosebud lips around his finger until he pulled it out with a little _pop_.

“You’re a good girl,” he growled at her, eyes bright. His finger went inside her again, then back into her mouth as if he were feeding her own arousal to her. With each taste she became more and more submissive until she was a puddle beneath him, sucking on his finger coated in her own juices like a baby. On the last round, Jamie popped his middle finger in his own mouth, sucked on it and made her eyes go big with desire.

“Don’t worry, love, I’ll stick somethin’ bigger in your sweet cunt. I’m gonna make you wait for it though. Make you cry at me, _oh please, Jamie_ ,” he said, making his voice high to mimic her. “ _Please pound me so hard, I’ll never say anything mean to you ever again_. Well I ain’t givin’ it to you just yet, no ma’am. I’m gonna mark you all up first, right after I get my filthy hands on these tits.” As he spoke – with Mei still and aching for him – Jamie reached for her tank, yanked her bra out from underneath it. He had a bit of trouble and had to tug harshly at some point, but the roughhousing of it all only made her shiver more in pleasure. “I’m gonna bite ‘em and squeeze ‘em and…”

His voice drowned out when he pushed her tank up to bare her breasts, leaving it bunched right on her collar because he was feeling too impatient to get it off completely. All of a sudden he couldn’t remember what he’d been saying. He could only stare at her breasts, how soft they looked, how pale her skin was, how… perfect every inch of her was. He was trying to turn her into a wet mess, to rough her up a bit for saying what she’d said at the bar even as he worked to give her the best fucking orgasm she would ever have in her entire life, but now he felt… a bit stunned. Stopped in his tracks. Speechless.

He’d never even _seen_ a woman like her before, much less slept with one. At least none he could remember clearly.

Jamie glanced up at Mei’s face in the darkness of her bedroom, saw her waiting for him, waiting for whatever he would give her next. She was beautiful, she was perfect, she had a _fantastic_ pair of tits. Women didn’t look like her in the Outback; she was like a jewel, or a rainbow, or a… unicorn. Or whatever else that was rare and lovely and something he always wanted to look at if he could.

But once again, he had to snap out of it. He wanted to give her the hot ride of her life, not some silly romantic roll in the sheets because that was _not_ what this was. And it could never be like that because she didn’t really like him. It would be one night, one big drunken mistake. At least it would be to her.

Jamie hoped to God he forgot all about this in the morning so he wouldn’t remember this feeling.

Shaking his head, he straddled her waist and placed his hands on her tits, squeezing them, maneuvering them so he could gather as much flesh in his palms as he could. Maybe if he touched enough he would sear the feel of them in his hands and always remember how they felt. Just that one thing was something he’d like to remember.

Mei arched her back, groaning a little as if she were getting some naughty massage. She liked having her breasts fondled, and Jamie’s hands were nice and big, even the robotic one felt good. She felt so loose and she was so wet, and she glanced up at him when she felt those hands leave her breasts and rub her hair away from her face. He then pried her lips open with a finger.

“How about I fuck this smart mouth of yours, eh?”

Something lit up inside her and it was eagerness, more than she’d felt in bed for a long time. It felt so unlike her, so rousing to be so submissive, to be doing this deed with someone she could barely stand to be around normally. Something forbidden, she thought, and watched as Jamie scooted up on her body a bit until his cock was right there, waiting to enter her mouth.

He laughed excitedly, lifting her head up by the back of her hair. Her mouth opened wider, and then she was full of him when he slid inside.

Jamie groaned and shivered on top of her. Her mouth was wet and hot and lovely, and the wiggling of her tongue made him twitch. He’d never fucked a lady’s mouth when on top of her like this, but already it was too good, and he would have to be careful not to come early. Taking complete control, he eased his hips back before slipping back inside her mouth, going a little deeper with each gentle thrust. Her mouth was small and tight, and for a moment he lost his head, surging forward for more and making her cough and clench around him. Hiding concern, he looked down at her to make sure she was okay – he really didn’t want to hurt her, no matter how rough he was being – but her cheeks hollowed at the right time, her tongue flicked perfectly over his tip when he pulled back, and her eyes were so glazed and ready to please, so he thrust in her mouth again, holding her head between his hands at some point and legitimately _fucking her mouth_.

“Fuck, Mei,” he groaned, loving the feeling of her gagging, the humming in her throat to encourage him. “Is this what it takes to get you to be nice? Just gotta slide a cock in your mouth and then you’re all pretty eyes, huh? I’ll remember that the next time you snip at me,” he breathed, hissing when he felt the back of her throat before pulling back. “ _Ugh_ , fuck me, you got a sweet mouth on you.”

“Jamie,” she whispered hoarsely when he pulled out, leaving her mouth covered in drool that matched his cock. She had to cough to catch her voice, and it made him chuckle darkly.

He grinned down at her. “Like the taste of Australian dick, love?” She was quiet, only swallowing and waiting patiently. Jamie tapped softly on her cheek to get her to speak. “What was that?”

“I do,” she whispered.

“Say it again, Mei, I didn’t hear you from all the way up here.”

“I do, I like it,” she told him, her eyes slightly watered with tears from when he’d fucked her throat and her glasses down her nose. Her hair bun was falling apart from the grip of his hands in her locks keeping her in place and her lips were a bit swollen. She was completely disheveled, exactly as he wanted her. What a gorgeous sight.

“Maybe I should make you suck me until I come in your mouth. Then I’ll zip me trousers up and skip right outta here, leaving you like this. Nah, I couldn’t do that to you,” he said sweetly, watching as she stuck out her tongue to lick at the tip of his cock. He groaned happily above her. “Not when you’re bein’ such a good girl for Junkrat. My good girl likes getting _fucked_ by the bad boys, doesn’t she? That’s why you’re so snippy, that’s why you _can’t stand me_. You’ve always wanted me to fuck you and you just didn’t know how to ask politely. I’ll forgive ya, love, I sure will.” Jamie then slid off her body, back between her legs where he really wanted to be, much as he enjoyed straddling her and having at her mouth. He pulled his large tank over his head and tossed it to the floor before reaching for her thighs and lifting them, bringing her knees almost to her chest. He tugged her from the pillows, wanting her to be flat on her back while he bent her in half. Not wanting to wait a second longer, he aimed his cock and pushed forward, instantly leaning over her.

They moaned together when he entered her, and it took a second or two for him to remember to move. He should just stay here forever; he absolutely would if he could. Just stay buried inside her and feel that rush and that heat and stare down at docile Mei-Ling spread out on her bed.

“Really tight,” he breathed, her calves hanging over his shoulders and her nails clawing into his chest so she could hold onto something. “So fucking tight, Mei, your cunt feels like the inside of a fist.”

“Please,” she whispered, already panting. “Please move, I want you to.”

His intentions had been to dominate her, but even he was having a hard time concentrating when her pussy was gripping him like it was, when she was so wet and willing and lovely beneath him. His hands fisted the sheets and he gave her what she wanted; he started to move, to fuck her with her legs over his shoulders and their breath mingling. He leaned forward far enough, really bending her, so their noses touched slightly, his hips slamming against her ass with every thrust. Maybe he should choke her a little bit, he thought distantly. The image made him gasp, made him sink into her as far as he could go and trying to inch further still. She whimpered softly then.

Mei touched his cheeks, cupped his face. His eyes fluttered open to meet hers, and gently she kissed his lips, doing so over and over again as they panted against each other.

No, he thought, opening his mouth against hers without fully kissing her and struggling with this battle inside him. No, don’t do that, he wanted to scream, please don’t do that. One night, one time, one mistake, he reminded himself. Nothing more. This was just to fix the frustration they felt after one too many drinks, to finally have that hate sex so they could push each other away and be done.

It scared him, this feeling of wanting to kiss her and knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop. She didn’t even like him…

Growling angrily, Jamie pulled his cock out of her, grabbed her so he could turn her around onto her stomach. She went willingly, even had a delusional smile on those pretty lips of hers as she anticipated what he would do to her next. She went to ease up onto all fours but he stopped her, keeping her on her stomach and spreading her legs enough so he could still penetrate her. He straddled her where her lovely ass met her thighs and entered her again, instantly fucking her and making her gasp and mew in pleasure. The flesh of her ass moved from the force and the sounds they made together were wet and sloppy but it was far too good to ever stop, to go back to the way things were when they were done and sober.

He went hard and fast, keeping his living hand on her lower back while the other buried itself in her mussed hair, tugging her locks tight enough so she gripped the sheets from the pleasure mixed with a little pain. He bared his teeth and knew he wouldn’t last much longer, not when she’d sucked him and was so obedient and beautiful and making those sweet sounds as her cunt gripped him like a wet hand and her body this delightful paradise he wanted to live in forever. He wanted her to come first – she _had_ to come first – and judging by how she was reacting with the pleasure/pains he was giving her, Jamie snarled and leaned down while maintaining the thrusting of his energetic hips so he could sink his sharp teeth into her shoulder. He pulled her hair, used his other hand to wrap around her neck, fucked her so hard her entire body convulsed. Under his hand, he felt her throat make some wild sound but he could barely hear it, not when he was using every ounce of remaining strength to keep himself from exploding inside her.

“I’m coming,” Mei panted loudly, and squeezed her eyes shut, gasping as if she couldn’t catch her breath. She was falling through air with shocks of pleasure being shot into her, and if not for the grip of his hand around her neck holding her chin up, she would’ve fallen face first.

Now he could let go, now he could detonate. She pulsed around him and Jamie hunkered down and laughed breathlessly as he spilled inside her, grunting into her back soon after as he continued to lazily take her from behind.

When they were both done and Mei could finally rest and lay flat, Jamie panted above her and suddenly could barely manage to keep his eyes open. A cloud was forming in his vision and his limbs were unable to hold himself up. Too much energy used on too many drinks while experiencing too many emotions. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Mei beneath him, his cock softening inside her and a faint pink bite mark on her skin. Struggling now, he pulled out of her, used the last of his strength to crawl next to her and drop onto her bed.

Mei felt the same drain but she lasted a little longer. She no longer had the ability to tell him to leave or to push him out of her bed or even slide her tank off her collar to conceal her breasts. She craned her head in his direction, saw him on his stomach with his face turned away. She wanted to sleep now, more than anything.

Next to each other naked, they both passed out.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Morning. Horrible, dreadful, bloody morning.

He groaned into the pillow and mumbled, “More than three shakes is a wank, Roadie...”

Hearing his own garbled, still somehow dreaming voice, one of Jamie’s eyes pried open with slight confusion, though it felt like mud had been caked between his lids. The first thing he felt when he came to was the intense headache tearing his skull apart. Usually he handled the next morning after one too many drinks well, as his body was already a radiated mess, but he still felt the exhaustion and the annoying sensation of feeling like his limbs were moving through water with no strength to go on. His head really did ache though. The next thing he felt was the softness on the front and back of his body. Soft sheets on his stomach and chest, a cozy blanket draped over his hips and legs. The faint smell of what he knew now to be laundry detergent on the pillow half his face was buried in.

That made him freeze up. His eyeball glanced down, saw a pretty shade of blue on the sheets. But he didn’t have sheets, he remembered. And his pillow was nowhere near this fluffy, it was just a flat slab. His eye flicked up, spotted parts of a room that most certainly was _not_ his. His lifted his head from the strange pillow to inspect his surroundings more.

_Where the hell was he?_

Shrieking, he scrambled up in the unfamiliar bed and held the blanket up to his collarbone to stupidly cover his chest. He didn’t know this room, he didn’t know where he was. What if the bounty hunters snatched him last night and Roadie was miles away? What if they were on their way now to this fancy bedroom to cut off his other arm?

“Jamison.”

His head snapped towards the voice, and he saw her.

“Ah!” he shouted, holding the blanket closer as he stared alarmingly at Mei, who was sitting in her desk chair dressed in a robe and holding a steaming mug in her hands. He then pulled the blanket back to look under it, hoping he wouldn’t see what he really didn’t want to see. But there it was, his dick plain to see under the blanket. Mei’s blanket on Mei’s bed, with Mei herself five feet away looking like she’d just woken up as well. The spot on the bed next to him looked slept in too, and his clothes were all over the floor. “Oh shit,” he squeaked, lifting a hand to his head as blurry images of him tossing those very clothes off and away fluttered through his mind. “Holy hell, I’m really in here, aren’t I?”

“Please calm down,” Mei sighed, rubbing at her own aching head. Unlike Jamison, her stomach was turning too. “You’re being so loud and moving too fast.”

“Did we fuck last night?”

His abrupt words surprised her, but then they didn’t surprise her at the same time, oddly. Of course he would flat out ask even though there were better ways to say it. Mei felt a tad guilty when she realized that it was possible for her to lie to him, or bend the truth slightly. This was incredibly embarrassing for her, for both of them. But she couldn’t do that, she decided. If she’d woken in his bed with less memory, she would want the truth. Sighing again, she answered softly, “Yes. We had way too much to drink and I guess… we ended up here.”

Silence now, and it was awkward. She sat in her chair with her cup, hair now brushed and face washed since she’d opened her eyes before he had, and him sitting up in her bed naked. The last person she would expect to wake up to. When she’d spotted him after feeling a moving leg next to her, Mei had hoped it had all been a crazy dream. What would happen now that they’d slept together? Did anyone else know? They fought the most out of all their teammates, and now here they were. Had they even used protection?

Nope. Upon waking, Mei had discovered a mound of evidence of their night before she’d recalled most of it. She had a bite mark on her shoulder, a red bruise on her neck, and a mixture of their releases caked on the inside of her thighs. Some of his cum had even left a spot on her sheets right under where her hips had been.

The only thing to do was accept it, and find a way to move on.

While waiting for him to wake up – because something told her she was more to blame so the least she could do was let him sleep – Mei had done a lot of thinking. A lot of soul searching.

“Oh… fuck!” Jamie hissed into his hands, then glared at his robotic arm. Obviously he hadn’t taken off the prosthetics last night, and his stumps ached as well as his head from him neglecting to give them a break from the fuse.

“I put a glass of water for you on the nightstand. There’s a soother in it, it should help with any discomfort. I prefer hot water but… I don’t know what you like.” She was rambling, she knew she was rambling. But what else could she say? Mei distracted herself by taking a sip of that hot water from her mug.

Jamie glanced over at the glass, then back at her suspiciously. “What’s all this? Shouldn’t you be kicking me out? And why’s your voice sound like that?”

Mei went quiet before she would answer all his questions. Again, she felt more of the blame, for multiple reasons. “I was just… trying to be nice. This isn’t how I wanted to wake up either, but we’re here and we can’t change it. And my voice…” She lifted a hand to her throat, coughed a bit to clear it. It was scratchy and hoarse and her jaw was sore. She knew why.

The answer seemed to dawn on him. He couldn’t remember the whole night as it played out, but he was steadily getting bits and pieces the more he woke up and the more he looked at her. He recalled straddling her chest and holding her head still and feeling her cough…

“Uh…” Jamie looked down at his hands, a soft blush now blooming over his cheekbones. “Sorry about that. Sorry… about everything. I think I bit you.”

Mei didn’t answer, just stared down at her hot water. She was sore between her legs too, but she wouldn’t tell him that.

You ass, you fucker, you rotten bastard. Jamie couldn’t stop cursing himself in his head as he reached for the water and chugged it completely in two big gulps. He had to get out of here, he had to leave her alone and get out of her sights. She obviously didn’t want him in her bed, he’d already fucked up her poor throat. As much as it killed his head, Jamie scrambled out from beneath her blanket and hastily yanked on his clothes. He shuffled into his tank – bloody thing, he wasn’t used to wearing damn shirts – and didn’t bother with it being backwards and inside out.

“I won’t tell anyone about this, no worries,” he babbled, snatching his boot from the floor and hobbling over to the door. His right leg wasn’t working so good, but he would drag himself out if he had to. “Just pretend it never happened. Go back to the way things were and all that bull dust. I’ll leave you alone from now on too, hope your throat gets better, bye.”

“Jamison, wait.” Mei stood and was pleased when he stopped, his boot clutched to his chest. She’d never seen him so flustered, not even in the heat of battle or when he was getting reprimanded by Jack. She set her cup down and looked over at him, folding her arms over her chest. “A lot happened last night.”

“Oh god,” he groaned. “Is there someone else in here?”

“No,” she replied firmly, too overwhelmed to even imagine _that_ scenario. “I’m not talking about what happened in here. We’ll just… have to get past that somehow. I’ve always been lucky enough to recall most of what occurs when I decide to have a few drinks, and a lot happened between us. A lot was said by you… and by me. We fought mostly, as we usually do.” Mei sighed and decided she needed to get this over with. Trying to appear as harmless as she could, she gently approached him, still giving him his distance but also wanting to maintain some kind of civil conversation. _Civil_ had always been something absent between them. “You said I was mean to you.”

“Uh…” What was happening, what was going on? Damned if he knew. “I was drunk?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Jamison. You don’t have to make excuses. You said I was mean and it hurt my feelings, but what was worse were the things I said to you, and I’ve come to realize that it’s always been that way. Since day one I’ve been mean to you and it wasn’t fair, at least it wasn’t when you proved yourself and ended up being a great addition to Overwatch.”

He held up a hand to stop her. “All water under the bridge, Mei, I swear. I know I’m a lot to handle.”

“It’s not,” she argued, clearing her throat again when her voice broke a little. “It’s not water under the bridge. I didn’t give you a chance. I gave Roadhog a chance, but not you, and that was wrong. Maybe if I had, there wouldn’t have been so much tension between us and maybe… this morning would have been a bit different. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can’t keep bickering with you. I don’t want to argue anymore, and I want to say that… I’m sorry.”

Jamie only stared down at her. What strange words. He didn’t think he’d ever heard a real apology directed at him before, and he didn’t really know how to respond. It was all too much. Waking up here, with her. Hearing these words, from her. Of all the people, it was her. All he could do was stand there like a damn fool holding his one boot.

He must think her insane, Mei thought, trying to get past his blatant confusion. Even more insane than he was. He wakes up naked in her bed expecting her to throw him out because of a night that had been out of his control, and here she was apologizing to him instead. But she had to do it. She wanted things to be better for both of them.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, wanting him to believe it. “I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I hope you will. You’re a person and I hurt you, and you’re my teammate. You’ve done bad things in the past but you’re doing something good now, and even if it’s all for a paycheck, you’re still doing it. You still made that choice. I would like… to try to be friends. Or just teammates, if that’s what you’d prefer. Or friendly teammates? I don’t know.”

He was far too quiet, and it unnerved her. When had he ever been this quiet? And just when her hands started to tremble a little from the awkwardness, she saw his mouth turn up into a smile. It went straight up to his eyes, a gentle smile she’d never seen on his face before. How was it possible for an explosives maniac to smile like that? It made her feel a flutter in her stomach, a good one and not the slight nausea she felt from her hangover.

“Mei,” he began, and the light tone of his voice eased a lot of anxiety inside her. “I’ve had a few rounds with blokes who’ve done far worse things to me than you. We’re mates, all right, no worries at all.”

It made her smile, the first genuine smile she would ever send his way. Wanting to seal the deal, Mei stuck out her hand for a shake.

It took him a moment, but finally he took her tiny hand in his, even though it felt a little silly. “Right, all professional. Nothin’ going on here, nope, not at all.”

“Well, we both stink. You should go shower and I should clean up in here.” Mei didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but she stepped up to him, went to her tip toes and quickly pecked his cheek. His grin grew bigger somehow, and that’s when she playfully pushed him out of her room. She would learn to be nicer to him, but she would still be herself.

“Lemme ask one teensy question, please, Mei, love,” Jamie said, stepping out of her room and standing in the doorway, ready for his _walk of shame_. “Since you was so mean to me before and whatnot.”

She sighed. “One question and that’s all you get because I know where it’s headed.”

“Was it good?” he asked, waggling his big blond brows. “Was I good last night? Did you like it?”

Mei stared at him for a long time. She thought maybe she should just ignore it, but then maybe he wouldn’t be able to let it go. But she was telling him the truth, she reminded herself. For this morning, he would get it.

“Yes,” she quickly answered, and shut the door on him as he beamed.

 

* * *

 

 

In the kitchen, sitting at the counter, Mako and Jesse watched closely as Jamison hobbled in looking for something to eat, even after a night of intense drink. The older men had traded in their whiskey and cigars for hot coffee and the newspaper and the quiet of early morning. Jamie didn’t seem to notice them, so Jesse spoke up.

“Have fun last night, kid?”

Jamie shrieked and spun around, clutching his chest. He instantly glared at the two men. “None of your damn business, cowboy. Why you keep hangin’ out with him anyways, Roadie? We got work to do, mate.”

Roadhog simply waved him off, shooing him away so he could go back to his paper. When the two were alone again, he could feel Jesse’s smug smirk.

“See those claw marks in his back? Mei has long nails. Plus he’s jumpy.”

“So you win forty bucks, whoo hoo,” Mako muttered, flicking another bill his way after fishing in his pocket. “You need cash or something?”

“Nah, just like being right.”

“You understand I was just making it interesting? That’s the whole point of a bet,” Mako said, but kept the pig mask in the newspaper’s direction. His other hand held his coffee mug. “I don’t care one way or another who that boy sleeps with.”

“I think you do and I think you’re glad. Maybe now we can get some work done ‘round here without those two goin’ at it like hissing cats.” Jesse tucked his earnings away and placed his hat on his head. “Wanna go get some real breakfast? This coffee is shit.”

Roadhog waited a beat. “You buying?”

Jesse gave a shrug. “Suppose I will, since I’m forty credits flush and all. What a thing, betting on sex.”

“You’re a smartass and I don’t like you.”

“Sure you don’t, big fella. I’ll buy and you drive. Let’s go get some real joe.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to comment! And yes, there are more chapters to come :)


	4. My Little Illusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei comes to terms with some life changing news, and realizes she has to let go of dreams she never knew she had. And it's so much harder, she finds, when you're in love.

How was she going to tell him?

She’d been through so much, had even lost a decade of her life, and yet this moment right now was the most stressful one she’d ever experienced, Mei was sure of it. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her palms felt sweaty, and her breath came out in shaky little whooshes that made her feel like a damn coward. She’d survived dangerous wildernesses in the name of science and an Antarctic anomaly inside a malfunctioning cryo-pod, and had battled terrorists with a mysterious agenda.

But this, she thought, clutching her sweaty hands together, this blew those other experiences to smithereens.

An appropriate figure of speech, she decided sullenly, considering _who_ it was she desperately needed to speak to.

She stood in the giant hanger of the new and improved Watchpoint of the now equally new and improved decorated Overwatch, stationed on the coastline of America’s northeast. It had been a couple of years since the unlikely band of recalled Overwatch agents of the past - and a few new ones - joined together to bring the agency back and protect the world and the innocent who lived on it. It had taken some time to rebuild and to gain the trust of the civilians and world leaders, but with each battle won with good intentions and hard work brought to the places that needed it, the world had no choice but to agree to bring back Overwatch for good. Winston had cried at the ceremony, and was now second in command under Strike Commander Morrison.

They all had a place now, a proper one. She was the head of Science and Exploration, and on the Council, along with those who had originally joined Winston in his quest. And another of those originals included Jamison Fawkes, an Australian junker of the past. He and Roadhog had been great additions to Overwatch when convincing the world to give them another chance. If Overwatch could accept criminal junkers and give them a new life during their service and beyond as they fought for the good of mankind, then perhaps they really were trustworthy. His call sign was still Junkrat, that would never change, and he liked it. But what _had_ changed during these last few years had been her relationship with him.

Jamie was hers. She’d stupidly fallen for the guy, a miracle he still boasted about to this day.

He was also who she’d been looking for. Mei had news… and she didn’t know how to go about giving it to him.

She knew she looked sad. Not sad, she corrected, even shaking her head to prove the point. She was just… alarmed. Scared. And yes, maybe a little disheartened because this was not in her immediate plans. She led an entire division of Overwatch. So did her boyfriend. God, she felt stupid calling him her boyfriend. Shouldn’t there be a better name than _boyfriend_? Someone needed to come up with one.

Mei walked further into the hanger where they stored a lot of big machinery. There were new faces running around the Watchpoint now, and each one had a place. Torbjörn and the other engineers spent most of their time here, but Jamie did as well. He was something of an engineer himself now that his potential was finally recognized. With her hair pulled up and her black framed glasses set firmly on her nose, Mei spotted Jamie atop one of Hana’s mechs, a wrench in hand as he gave orders to his underlings.

Jamison Fawkes, once an international junker criminal, was now the head of the Bombs and Explosives division, along with other weaponry. He’d hastily accepted the job when it had been offered to him.

Mei always wondered if he only had because he wanted to stay with her.

Jamie stood high and straight on top of the mech, his arms crossed as he shouted down below. “Any of you jostle those frags even a weensy bit, and you go straight down to cleanup duty in the big ape’s playroom. You know anything about gorillas, kid?” he asked down to one of the younger soldiers, who suddenly started walking much slower with the box full of bombs ready to launch.

“No, sir,” the young man answered, shaking his head.

“They throw their own shit, is what they do. I think,” he muttered unsurely. “Not a monkey expert, thank Christ. Pretty sure our gorilla don’t do that, but you never know. Today could be the day he goes _ape shit_.”

Mei sighed when he had a good laugh over his own joke.

“You,” Jamie said, pointing to another face. “Contact Miss Song and tell her we’re ready for test flight in an hour, and if she ain’t down here in exactly sixty minutes, I’m takin’ the mech out me own damn self to test the launchers. You say those exact words now. That’ll get her down here in no time, I bet.”

“I… can’t speak to the lieutenant that way, sir.”

“Then say at the end, _from Junkrat_.”

“Um…”

“Jamison,” Mei called, stepping in to help the recruit out. Thank God for the distraction, she thought. If she hadn’t felt the need to assist, then the stress pulsing through her would’ve kept her silent and she’d never speak to him. Jamie’s head whipped in her direction with a big grin on his dirty face. It instantly dropped when he looked at her, really looked at her. Something was up, and she knew he could tell. They’d been together long enough now for him to notice such things.

“Fine then, just… tell her however you bloody well want. One hour,” he repeated, then hopped off Hana’s mech to approach her. “Load the frags. Hiya, snowflake,” he said to her, instantly taking her cheeks in a hand and leaning down to peck her lips. “What brings you to this neck of the woods, eh? Prettiest lady here.”

Mei couldn’t help but grin, even though her nerves were shot. “I wanted to see you. What are you doing for Hana?”

“Designed ace launchers, I did. Meka 3 is getting tested today for ‘em. I know it’s a beaut of a bomb itself, but why not add a bit more and give our girl some bouncy explosives she can toss a mile away? Told her I’ll even stamp the frags with her cutesy bunny brand if all goes well, which it will ‘cause your man’s a fuckin’ genius. Can’t wait to see the little buggers shoot off. Wanna stay and watch? We can take the chopper.”

He wasn’t outright asking her what was wrong, and she was glad for it. And in his way he was even offering a way to prolong it, for her sake. But she couldn’t, she couldn’t wait a second longer. It was the biggest discussion they would possibly have, and still she didn’t know how to start it. Mei’s hands lifted and rested on his chest, over the baggy blue tank with the Overwatch symbol in the middle. Practical uniforms were required of new recruits, but those in rank had privilege, like her and Jamison. She also really liked him in blue.

“Damn thing still makes me feel claustrophobic,” Jamie muttered.

“It’s a tank top that barely fits you, you shouldn’t feel caged in. And seeing you in actual clothes makes me feel the same way you do when you see me in lingerie.”

“That’s impossible, love, because I’m sure seeing me in this fugly tank doesn’t give you a boner and make your mouth water.”

Mei smiled softly, but it quickly drooped. “I really need to talk to you.”

“I know. What is it, babe? Need me to go with you to some butt-fuck Egypt for samples? Help you build something? Set someone on fire?”

He meant to make her laugh but she couldn’t muster it anymore. She could barely look him in the eye now, and just focused on their insignia on his tank. Her chin even trembled just a little before she whispered, “Can we be alone?”

“Takin’ a break!” Jamie called out to his recruits as he took her hand. “The rest of you, keep to it. I want that floor cleaned up before I get back. I love being a big hotshot boss,” he told Mei as he led her to a small room off the hanger that kept a set of bunkbeds and a table and chairs for those who’d clocked in one too many hours and needed some quick shuteye. The room was dark save for one lamp since its purpose was rest, and they were alone. Jamie closed the door behind them. “What’s got you frownin’, love?”

How was she going to tell him? How was she going to say the words? Mei felt the object in her pocket, and the weight of it felt as heavy as a boulder. She didn’t know if she could lift it on her own, but she had to try. It was the only way she could tell him she needed help to carry it. And he would, Mei knew, giving him her back for a moment so she could compose herself. He would help her carry this weight, for the rest of his life.

What if he really didn’t want to? They’d never talked about this subject. What if he only stood by her because he loved her, and she’d condemned him to the weight of the world? They were soldiers and scientists, she reminded herself. How could they add _this_ to their backs along with Overwatch?

“We…” Mei cleared her throat with a slight cough, turned back to face him. She took a breath, tried to give a reassuring grin. She couldn’t seem to muster it because she was far too nervous. It wasn’t the best thing to say, but she somehow couldn’t stop herself when she said, “We really need to talk.”

The color instantly drained from his face, and with the soot there on his cheeks and forehead, it made him look like a corpse dug up from the ground. His eyes lost their glow and he grimaced, his back hunching in defeat.

“Oh God,” he uttered, hands flying up into his hair to grasp it. “Oh fuck. You ain’t saying what I think you’re saying, are you? You’re sending me off? Oh… fuck!”

Mei brought her brows together, confused. “What?”

“We can work through this, Mei, I swear we can, I can do better, I promise. You tell me what it is, love, and it’s gone, I’ll change it right away, I will. Is it the job? It’s the bloody job, isn’t it, we need more time together, we been working too hard, those fuckers! You just say the word, Mei, and we’ll quit this scrapheap, we can be on the next airlift to… wherever you wanna go! Or is it the sex? I can read a book about it,” he bargained desperately. “Or… or take a sex class! Or watch vids if you want it… dirtier? Or more romantic-like? I can do romantic, yeah, sure I can, all the time! I know, I’ll ask Lena and Emily for a few tricks, they definitely know what they’re doing down there, they gotta be experts! You just sit tight right here, Mei, darl, love of me life, don’t move, I’ll go ask the girls and I’ll come right back here and we’ll—“

“Jamison!” Mei interrupted, grabbing him by his upper arms to keep him still. “I don’t understand what you’re doing.”

“I know I ain’t the best and, fuck’s sake, I still don’t know why you’re with a bloke like me, but please, Mei, please don’t leave me. If you just tell me how I’m mucking around, I'll fix it, I’ll—“

Before he could say anything else, Mei placed her hand over his mouth to silence him. She shook her head and realized where she’d gone wrong. _We need to talk_ was a bad choice of words. “No, Jamie, I’m not breaking up with you. Do you hear me? I’m _not_ leaving you. And you’re… fine in the sex area. More than fine actually.”

He slumped heavily in relief, falling almost to his knees. His face fell into her hand completely, and he took her wrist to keep it there. Mei felt even more guilt as he steadied himself. Why couldn’t she just be mature about this? Now she’d made things worse by almost giving him heart failure.

“Good God, love, thought I had to go to war to win you back.” He snapped up straight to say to her firmly, “And don’t think I wouldn’t do all those things for you ‘cause I would! In a heartbeat. Don’t think I ever felt such relief, not even when I survived a ripped off leg. Phew.”

He leaned down to kiss her, and Mei could only halfheartedly return it. Any other day she would have been glowing, maybe even teasing him a little bit at the hoops he would jump through if their relationship really had been up in the air. But she couldn’t, not now.

Not when the weight of the world was nestled in her pocket. Not her pocket, she realized, feeling a wave of nerves. The weight of the world was somewhere inside her instead.

“Jamie… I have to tell you something.”

And with every ounce of courage she had in her, Mei reached into her pocket, showed him what she’d been keeping inside. The source of her stress.

He stared down at what rested in her palm. A stick, he saw. A pink and white stick, capped off at one end. His brain raced to figure out what it was, but for the life of him he couldn’t settle on an answer. Lifting a brow, he asked, “What the hell is that? A marker? Looks weird.”

“No, Jamie,” Mei sighed, frowning. “This is a pregnancy test. If you look at the little screen right here… it says it’s positive. And it’s mine. It’s mine and it’s positive, Jamie.”

“So that means…?”

“It means I’m pregnant.”

Just saying the words felt terrifying and relieving at the same time, and what a feeling that was. Mei had gone through a bunch of different scenarios when it came to his reaction, but he was so unpredictable, still even to her at times, and agonizing over it had only made her feel bad. But something like this was meant to be endured by two people. Somehow, for her, that made it worse. Mei knew how she felt about the whole thing.

But how would the guy who got her pregnant feel about it?

And of all the different scenarios, she hadn’t quite thought of the reaction he would give her.

“You’re sayin’… I’m gonna be a daddy?”

The smile that bloomed over his face made her feel like a monster. Mei thought she might actually faint.

“What?” she said softly, and it was all she could manage to say. “What?”

Jamie plucked the stick from her palm and lifted it for further inspection. “This thing says you’re preggie? How the hell does something so small and breakable know that?”

Okay, Mei thought, taking a break as her heart hammered. Okay, this was good. A good distraction from the anxiety. “Um… It’s able to detect the pregnancy hormone. In urine.”

“You telling me you pissed on this?”

She nodded. “Yes… Just give it back, I know that’s nasty.”

His big smile wouldn’t falter, and his yellow eyes lit up like the sun. “I’ve had multiple parts of myself inside you, in different ends. You think some piss is nasty to me?”

“Jamie. I don’t think you’re thinking this through. I’m pregnant.”

“I know, I heard you, love. Kinda amazing how this little marker here can give a doozy of an answer, huh?” He shook the stick furiously in front of him, then glanced at the screen again. “Still has that little plus sign on it. Not like that toy where you draw and shake it and it all goes away.”

“This isn’t a toy. This isn’t a game.” She then cursed softly under her breath in Mandarin.

“Now you don’t gotta go and say _that_ , missy,” he playfully chastised. In their years together, he’d learned more Mandarin to better communicate with her. His favorites were the curse words, of course. Jamie then went to his knees and stared levelly at her belly. He wrapped his arms around her hips and pressed his cheek to her stomach. “Hello in there, baby, it’s me, your pop. Whoa, Mei,” he grunted when she went slack, almost fainting to the floor before he caught her and set her on her feet. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? _What’s wrong_?” Mei brushed his hands from her, absolutely frustrated now, and stressed beyond belief. How could he be acting so… so _happy_ and _cute_ about this _inconvenience_? “I’m pregnant, Jamie. I can’t be pregnant, not right now. There’s so much work I have to do, work _we_ have to do to run this place. We just got Overwatch up and running and now I have to have a baby? This is the worst time for this. I’m supposed to be going to South America in a couple of months, and then Egypt afterwards to help Ana scout a location for the new Watchpoint.”

“So,” he shrugged.

“So? I can’t go to South America and Egypt to work if I’m pregnant, Jamie. I’m a woman in her mid-thirties who _should_ be in her mid-forties because of cryostasis. I don’t know how pregnancy is going to affect my body. _Normal_ women need to take it easy at some point, how the hell do you think growing and carrying a human is going to be for _me_? All of my hard work,” she muttered, lifting her hands and setting her face in them. “And what happens after I give birth, Jamie? I can’t go back to working full time when I have an infant to care for. I won’t be able to fight for the world when it needs me the most and that… It’s just not the right time.”

“You’re acting like you’re gonna do this all alone. I’ll be there, I’ll help you, of course I will! I’ll even put him in one of those carrier things and strap him to my chest.”

“While you’re building _bombs_ , Jamison? Are you hearing yourself? _Neither_ of us is ready to be parents.”

He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to console her. He’d gotten better at it over the years, but this was a topic like uncharted waters. He couldn’t stop the happiness he realized now wasn’t the reaction she’d been hoping for, but making her happy was far more important to him nowadays. All he wanted to do was take the stress away from her. Maybe he could.

Mei watched him as he trotted over to the monitor on a nearby desk. He brought up communications so he could send a message. As he typed – slowly, of course – Mei asked him. “What are you doing?”

“Telling Hana we’re rescheduling the flight test. She’s gonna get worried and come right down, so we got ten minutes to bail. You’re comin’ with me, darl.”

 

* * *

 

 

He’d put her in a vehicle and drove. Appreciating the silence and the drive, Mei finally felt herself relaxing a tad. After an hour, she realized where he was taking her. Sixty minutes away from the Watchpoint, off of Overwatch grounds, was a big park with a fantastic faraway view of the ocean. Many civilians came to the park for various activities like exercise, child entertainment, relaxation, and even a date. The grass and trees were beautifully green and the air was cooled by the faint ocean breeze, a mixture scent of shore and plant life. It was one of Mei’s favorite places, as she’d helped build the park, and the perfect location to calm her nerves.

She walked with Jamie along the path, his arm slung over her shoulders and his robotic hand in his pocket. He was surprisingly quiet, knowing she usually enjoyed the sound of people appreciating the outdoors. Two friends on rollerblades sped past them and another man in the grass was throwing a ball for his happy dog. The sun was setting on the horizon and the kids were being called back to their cars so they could head on home for dinner.

Some civilians gave them a few stares, not only for her boyfriend’s prosthetic leg he had yet to change after all this time, but also for the symbol on their shirts. Overwatch agents they most definitely were.

They ended up on a bench facing the sea and the sun. Jamie stretched his arms across the top, resting his flesh hand on her shoulder.

She couldn’t take the silence any longer. They had to keep talking about their dilemma. It was the only way they would come to a conclusion.

“I didn’t mean to sound… like a jerk,” she said softly, her hand finding his on her shoulder and lacing their fingers together. “I lost my temper. I don’t hate children.”

“Anyone with a good eye can see that, love. You care about everybody, even the ground we’re walking on. Even that tree over there.”

“I think I just got really scared,” Mei admitted. The ocean twinkled beyond in the light of the setting sun. “We never discussed this. Maybe we should have. We’ve been together long enough.”

“Don’t need to discuss it yet. Just ‘cause a little stick says you’re knocked up don’t mean it’s set in stone. I think, before we start havin’ any _discussions,_ we need to go see the Doc. She’ll give us a clear answer, and _then_ we’ll have a sit down, you and me. One step at a time, babe.”

“That’s…” Mei stopped, then nodded a little. “That’s actually a good idea. A much better idea than jumping to conclusions. I’m not against this completely, you know,” she said to him, turning to catch his eyes. Sometimes he surprised her with how… oddly rational he could be. In his own way. “I want you to know that, especially after your reaction. I just… can’t do this right now. I’m not ready, not one bit. Not even a little.”

He gave her a half grin and shrugged a shoulder. “Guess we’ll figure it out when we see the angel. And I’m with you, Mei-Ling. No matter what you decide, no matter what you want, I’m right here with you and I ain’t going anywhere. For now, let’s just relax and enjoy the view. Hey, want me to go steal those bloke’s blades? Have us a skate?”

He made her feel better. Mei couldn’t believe how much a former junker she used to dislike really could. She leaned against him and nestled herself against his chest. “You can’t skate, Jamie, you have one leg.”

“Three-legged skate then. I’ll wear one and hang onto you while you do most of the work pulling me along.”

“No stealing,” she told him with a small smile, and the two sat peacefully in the glow of the sunset.

Mei heard child laughter and glanced over. She spotted two little kids, obviously brother and sister, chasing each other as they carried out a rousing game of tag. Her eyes stayed on them a little longer, somehow drawn to them in a way she couldn’t explain. Mei thought every child was beautiful, but those two were definitely the best looking kids she’d ever seen, and it made her heart flip in her chest. They were full of light, like the sunbeams reflecting on the ocean’s surface. Two little diamonds they were.

And when she blinked behind her glasses… the two were gone.

 

* * *

 

 

At seven the next morning, Mei reached for the alarm to switch it off before it could chime. She’d selected wind chimes as her alarm of choice, but this morning she couldn’t stand to hear them sound. Her stomach was in knots and she hadn’t slept very well. Hot tea had not soothed her and she hadn’t been able to muster up the desire for sex, so computer games on the tablet with Jamie had wasted the hours away until the two passed out from exhaustion. Jamie was already gone by the time she decided to get out of bed. He’d said something about meeting up with Roadhog, but promised he’d keep the pregnancy a secret until they got a concrete answer. He was older now, and had been given various forms of therapy during the years to help with his various conditions, mental and physical. He could manage to keep this one secret for now.

Even after turning the alarm off and knowing she had to shower and dress and eat something before her appointment with Angela, Mei couldn’t seem to get out from beneath the covers.

If she really was pregnant, then there were options available to her no matter what she chose. Keeping it was an option, and if Ana could have a baby while ranked second in command of the original Overwatch, then maybe Mei could too.

But Ana was a super woman. Still was. Mei could never compare herself to Captain Ana Amari.

This was so hard, she thought, pressing her face into her pillow. Why was this so hard? Why was she having such trouble with the idea of growing a human? Of possibly having one and raising it with the man she loved?

Mei’s eyes snapped open as she heard laughing outside her bedroom door. Children laughing, she realized, and it was a familiar sound. In fact, Mei swore she’d heard that exact laughter yesterday at the park. And it seemed like the sound was coming straight for her. Sitting up in bed wearing a white silken nighty, she quickly reached for her glasses and slid them on just as her door whooshed open.

And there they were. The two kids from the park. A boy and a girl, about seven years old.

Mei froze completely as she stared.

“We made you a pancake!” they both said to her in unison, each holding onto a portion of a plate as they held it up for her to see. The pancake was absolutely misshapen and it even looked raw in some areas, but next to it was a little pink flower.

“I found a cookbook,” the little boy said to Mei, smiling a little even as he slightly blushed. “This one doesn’t look exactly like the picture, but we did follow the directions one by one. Or… at least I _told_ her to follow the directions one by one. I don’t think she listened. That’s why it looks like this.”

“What are you talking about, it looks delish!” The girl smiled brightly. Each child had the same brown hair and brown eyes. Mixed race children, she saw. More Asian passing with pale skin. The girl took the pink flower and placed it on Mei’s bed, in case she would reach for it. “I found that in the garden. Emily says not to pick her flowers, but that one was completely out of place. So… maybe just not tell her?”

“She’s going to know it was you,” the boy muttered.

“No she won’t, I left no trace.”

”There’s dirt all over your hands and your knees. And don’t touch her pancake with your dirty hands. I brought you a fork too,” he said sweetly to Mei, taking the entire plate from his sister and holding it up for her.

The girl stared down at her palms, staring at the smears of soil on her skin. “Hooley dooley, you’re right! Can you help me clean up before Emily finds me?” she asked the boy.

“No way, I’m not getting in trouble. I don’t like getting in trouble.”

“C’mon, mate, twins help each other out. That’s what Pop says.”

“You’re gonna be in trouble with Pop too when he finds out you took one of his detonators. She has one of Pop’s detonators in her pocket,” he told Mei.  

“Nah, this one was in the dud pile. The wires don’t work, not like it’s dangerous or nothing. Besides,” she added, holding a very familiar detonator in her tiny hands she’d pulled from her pocket. “It’s not connected to anything. It’s just a fancy-lookin’ button, that’s all it is.”

Was she hallucinating? Mei wondered. Was this some kind of sick joke Jamie was pulling on her? But he wasn’t that cruel, at least not to her and not as cruel as he’d once been. And the more Mei stared at these kids – wide eyed and silent and a little unsteady as if they were little aliens – she could see traits in them that made her head spin, traits she knew, because some of them were her own. And of the one whom they referred to as their _Pop_. Mei could see Jamie’s smile on their faces and the shape of him in their willowy bodies. She could see her own eyes in theirs and the same shade of brown on their little heads. She could even hear the slight Australian lilt in their voices. _Both_ of their voices, because there was two of them. Two children the same age with the same parents.

“Twins,” Mei whispered shakily as she gawked at them.

_Her twins._

Her hand fell to her stomach.

“You should go give that back to Pop,” the boy said to his sister, eyeing the device in her hand warily. “And we should go help Emily repair her garden. We gotta hang out with her while Lena’s away. She likes us.”

“I told you, it’s a dud.” She then glanced up at Mei, and the girl’s words rushed into her like a bullet train, hard and fast and something she could never survive. “It’s just a dud, Mom. See?”

The girl hit the button, and the two children froze as they heard a distant _kaboom_.

At the same time, Jamie threw their bedroom door open and the twins vanished into thin air.

Mei could only stare at the empty spot where they’d stood. Even the pink flower was gone from her bed. An illusion.

“Still in bed, love?” Jamie asked, his shorts hanging low on his hips and his chest bare. “Not like you. You feelin’ sickie? You look really pale.”

Hearing his voice and knowing he was real in front of her helped Mei snap back to reality. She shook her head from any strange visions of imaginary children, and focused on her man. Her head still felt foggy and her stomach was rolling inside her. “I’m fine,” she told him softly.

Just a trick of the mind, she reasoned. It could be nothing, just her stress making her see things that weren’t really there and hearing voices of twins who possibly didn’t even exist. Or maybe it really was pregnancy affecting her in a strange way because of cryostasis. Affecting her mind, and her heart.

Deciding to follow Jamie’s advice and take one step at a time because the alternative was far too overwhelming for her, Mei cleared her mind as best as she could and prepared for her appointment.

If she really was pregnant, Mei wouldn’t be the only one. Emily Oxton was a few months along with the baby she would raise with Lena – the two women were gloriously happy - and of course she was under the care of Dr. Ziegler. Perhaps she would comment on a _baby fever_ taking over the facility, but after Mei told Angela what she needed, the angel’s face only contorted ever so slightly when looking at Mei and Jamie. After that, it was an hour of tests.

They waited in the treatment room for the results. Jamie was being on his best behavior, and all Mei could do was sit on the examination table as her brain showed her images again of those twins who’d called her mom. They were both kneeling at a little table, coloring their drawings.

“What did you draw, Jax?” the girl asked as she brushed a wandering strand of messy brown hair out of her face.

“The New York City skyline,” the boy – named Jax – told her proudly. “What about you?”

“I drew Roadie fightin’ a giant mutated real-life pig!” She then made growling and gurgling noises. And Mei… couldn’t help but smile softly and hold in a laugh. Maybe she was going crazy the more her mind was able to wander. “Roadie’s big, he can take on anything. Even Bigfoot, I bet.”

“Bigfoot doesn’t exist, Hunter.”

“And how do you know that? They ain’t proved nothing yet.”

Jax put a finger on his chin as he thought. “Maybe it was just Uncle Jesse wandering around looking for his hat, and they think it’s Bigfoot. Or Reinhardt! He’s big and hairy enough.”

They both giggled, holding their sides as they enjoyed the joke. They were both smart and funny, Mei saw, watching the two now known as Hunter and Jax, her imaginary twins. Smart and funny, just like their Pop. Why did they come with names? Mei wondered. Why could she see them, as if they were right there, close enough to touch?

Just as this morning, as soon as Angela walked in, Hunter and Jax disappeared. Jamie hadn’t seen a thing.

What was wrong with her?

“Okay,” Angela began, shaking her blonde bangs out of her face as she opened a folder. “As I told you before, Mei, I did a few more tests to update those taken when you were immediately rescued from cryostasis. It’s been a few years, so I’d like to see the status of vital organs, like your uterus, and the inner workings of your body using my own equipment. That will take a few hours for the results to come back to me, but I shall comm you as soon as I retrieve them. As for the result you came in for…”

Jamie was quiet. A little too quiet, and Mei wondered if he was as anxious as she was for the answer. He just leaned forward, his eyes right on Angela’s as he waited for the biggest result of his life, and hers.

There it was again, the anxiety. What about South America and Egypt? Mei asked herself, full of dread and stress and taking on challenges she had no business worrying about just yet. What about all her projects that needed her attention right after this appointment? What about saving the world so that when she finally wanted to have children, it would be a better place for them? What about Jamison, and how he was still in his therapies but having an infant in tow would disrupt all that progress he needed to make if he ever became a father in the future?

Twins would consume them in an inconvenient time. They were nowhere near ready like Lena and Emily. Everyone was on a different life schedule.

_There was too much to do_.

“You are not pregnant, Mei.”

She should’ve felt a wave of relief, but shock was all she could feel as she stared at Angela. Had she heard the doctor correctly? Maybe she was still hearing things, like the twins drawing at the table or telling her they’d made her a pancake, things she’d neglected to tell Angela during her tests. Shock and confusion, and she felt it like a gust of a hurricane’s wind.

“I’m… not?”

“She’s not?” Jamie asked at the same time. “Bloody hell, I knew that marker was rubbish.”

“But I took a test,” Mei said, ignoring Jamison even when he sidled closer to her. “It said I was pregnant.”

“I understand. At-home pregnancy tests rarely ever give false-positive results, as they can successfully detect the hormone that is produced very early in the pregnancy. But, even by today’s standards, they are not perfect. False positives and false negatives have been known to happen, and in your case, you were given a false-positive. They are a variety of reasons for why this occurred, but the fact is you are _not_ with child at this moment in time. And judging by the relief I sense from you, this is a good finding, yes?”

Oh yes, Mei thought, but somehow couldn’t seem to voice. Perhaps she needed a more elaborate answer. “Do you know what happened? _Why_ this happened?”

“Looking at the results, I see some traces of medications in your system. Have you recently taken any drugs? Like tranquilizers or hypnotics? Sleeping pills,” Angela told Jamie when he made a face.

“Yes. The night before, I did take something to help me sleep. I’ve been having a little trouble in that area,” Mei confessed. She didn’t want anyone thinking she couldn’t do her job. “Work has been pretty crazy lately. For all of us.”

“Well then, there is your answer. I cannot say with one-hundred percent certainty that the hypnotics caused your false-positive reading, although it makes sense, but I _can_ say with such certainty that you are definitely _not_ pregnant. There is nothing growing inside you; you are exactly as you were a month ago.”

Not pregnant, Mei thought, feeling a weight being lifted from her back. Not pregnant! She gave a big toothy smile and glanced at Jamie, snagging his hand and gripping it tight.

“I’m so relieved,” she said happily, bouncing a little on the examination table. Suddenly everything, the immediate future especially, was looking exactly as she’d planned it to look. “I don’t have to cancel my trips. I can still work. I can still go to work, Jamie.”

“Yeah, love,” he answered, his voice light and playful as it always was and his grin wide. “Not ready for a kiddo. You’re right, as usual.”

“I’m glad I was able to put things in order for you both,” Angela said, closing the folder. “While I’m sure it would have been absolutely adorable to have two pregnant women waddling around the facility, I know for a fact that Emily and Lena enjoy the extra attention. I know I don’t need to remind you, but remember to use your preferred birth control to avoid scares like this in the future. I can provide you with a box of condoms if you’re in need.”

“Right, thanks a bunch, Doc, we’ll take those to go then.”

“Jamie,” Mei muttered.

“Hush, darl, I’m tryin’ to score us some free rubbers.”

“I think we’ll get out of your hair, Dr. Ziegler. Thank you for taking the time.” Mei hopped off the table, tugged on Jamie’s hand to pull him out.

“As I said before, Mei, I will contact you when the additional results come in. They should be ready in a few hours.”

Mei nodded and waved a cheerful goodbye. Not pregnant, she thought again, squealing a little and spinning in a circle.

They weren’t ready. Someday they would be, if both of them wanted children in the future. But not now, and fate had been kind to her. There was too much on her to-do list, at least for the next year, and Jamie still needed to progress in his therapy. When he became a father and she a mother, possibly to twins, they would be prepared for the never-ending battles of parenthood.

But they were battles she could put off a bit longer.

She would continue to make the world a better place so that she could one day show her kids all she’d done for it, and them.

Later that evening after a full day of glorious work and still on the high of being given a diagnosis she was more than happy with, Mei waited for Jamie in their bedroom. For now they lived on sight, but they’d been doing so since the day they’d met. Another thing to look forward to in the future. A home of their own, maybe even with a baby or two.

When Jamie opened the door – Mei purposely timed it so he would arrive after she did – he stopped in his tracks as he stared at his woman who kneeling on their fluffy bed and wearing that delicious little black lace number he’d picked out for her online forever ago. On her, it still made his knees weak and his head dizzy when she put it on. She’d even tousled her hair and painted red on her lips, something he oddly very much enjoyed eating right off of her mouth. The hem of the black nighty rose up on her thighs and the neckline dipped low on her chest.

All he could do was stare at her and manage a whimper sound. Suddenly he was _hungry_.

Mei giggled softly as she ran a hand down the lace on her front. “I know you like this one. What did you say yesterday? Seeing me in lingerie immediately gives you a hard-on and makes your mouth water?”

“I’m drooling like a damn mutt already, love, and my dick is so hard right now it’s practically reachin’ out for you.”

“Okay, so instead of gawking at my breasts, maybe you could come closer and get your hands on me?” She lifted her own hands out to him, beckoning him to come to her. “I’ll take good care of what’s in your pants.”

“Yes, ma’am, right away, ma’am.” Jamison hobbled forward, tripping a little on the way because he couldn’t stop staring at her gorgeous tits, and was already reaching for his belts to undo them when he climbed onto the bed with her. Mei shooed his hands away and replaced them with her own. “I should take you to the Doc more often,” he murmured when he felt her hand slide into his pants to grip him. As he’d said, he was already hard.

“There isn’t a baby in me, so I thought we could celebrate by pretending to make one. Safely, of course,” she added, lifting up the little package that held a condom. “And you were so supportive of me, Jamie. I’ll never forget that. I’m going to treat you very well tonight.” He giggled a little nervously but also eagerly against her mouth when she lifted her face to kiss him. “And you won’t need this the first time,” she added, setting the condom aside and yanking him down onto his back. He was practically wiggling in anticipation and she had to hold him down to stop the squirming as she tugged down his pants.

“Gonna get some of that red lipstick on my cock, Mei, love?” he asked, sliding his flesh fingertips through her hairline as she settled between his legs.

Mei only smirked and leaned forward to do just that.

 

* * *

 

 

Jamie wasn’t one to sleep very well and it was understandable, and maybe Mei had begun to take on that trait too after living with him for so long, but there were some nights where he would just pass out, a night where his insomnia would shrink back and not even a flying frag could wake him. She loved those nights, warm, quiet nights where her man could sleep peacefully – cuddled right up to her of course – and he seemed so innocent, so content, that sometimes she just had to watch him and hold him and know that because of joining Overwatch, he’d been kept out of prison, had been put on the winding road to whatever recovery he could handle, and, most importantly, he was still alive.

Mei didn’t know exactly what he’d gone through in the short time of thinking they might actually be pregnant, but perhaps the scare and the celebratory sex afterward triggered whatever it was that made him sleep soundly.

It was almost midnight now, and they were both naked under the rumpled sheets of their messy bed. Her hair was mussed and her lipstick smeared a bit along her cheek, and he had a bite mark on his thigh and a still developing hickey on his neck.

Just as she’d promised, Mei had taken _very_ good care of him.

Jamie was snoring away, on his back with her pulled right into his side to keep her close. His flesh arm – the prosthetics had been removed – was under her back and the hand resting on her cleavage. She knew he’d fallen into a deep sleep when that hand stopped gripping her breast, and Mei took the opportunity to change position and roll to her side, sheets wrapped around her body.

Everything had gone how she’d wanted it to, she mused, listening to Jamie’s snores and waiting to follow him into sleep. She could now focus entirely on her ongoing projects without distraction, and still devote herself to her work. And as if by some mental magic, her thoughts brought back the images of the twins. She was no longer stressed out of her mind, but she was on the brink of sleep, loose and relaxed and naked.

Mei saw the two of them in their little pajamas, whispering to each other as they slowly and quietly approached her side of the bed. The girl – Hunter was her name, Mei remembered – pulled her brother Jax along as he held her upper arm. Their pretty eyes were sleepy and hopeful.

“Mom,” Hunter whispered, staring deeply at her face in the dark. It felt so real, Mei thought with wonder. “Mom, we know we’re not supposed to—“

“This is yours and Pop’s bed, we know that,” Jax added quietly.

“But,” Hunter snipped, giving her brother a look for interrupting. “We wanted to know… if we could sleep with you and Pop? We won’t take up much room. Jax can sleep on the floor and I can sleep in the middle.”

“I don’t want to sleep on the floor!”

“Be quiet, can’t you see Pop’s asleep, you’ll wake him.” Hunter looked back at Mei. They both did; big, brown puppy dog eyes hoping they could charm her, just like their father. “Please, Mom? We just want to be with you.”

Mei stared at them, and somehow their request felt like so much more, like it meant something else, and she needed to make the decision. They wanted to be with her. With her and Jamie, Mei corrected, because they weren’t with them now, and wouldn’t be after today’s results. Maybe, on some strange plain of existence, two little souls wanted to be born.

_To be with them_.

Mei lifted out her hand, reaching for them as if to give a reassuring touch. Before she could make contact with two illusions, she held back, and her hand just hovered in their direction. She couldn’t touch them.

“Not today,” Mei whispered to them, and again, it meant something else. An answer. She couldn’t give them what they wanted… yet. “But someday.”

_And she meant it._

“Someday,” they both repeated with smiles. Someday they’ll all be together.

They vanished when her monitor lit up with a call from Angela.

Blinking against the bright glare of the screen, Mei took a moment to process that she was actually receiving a call, not her brain showing her something that wasn’t real. As anyone would, she felt a wave of concern. No one called this late with good news, and maybe Angela needed her help, or was hurt somewhere. Mei quickly reached forward to answer it, then realized she was naked in bed next to Jamison, who was equally naked.

“Audio only,” she said to the computer before picking up. “Angela? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I’m very sorry to disturb you so late at night, Mei,” Angela voiced through the speaker. “It has been a very long day and I just found the time to go over your results. You’re my friend and I care about you, and, as your friend, I assumed it was okay to contact you. I apologize if I assumed wrong.”

Well, she sure wasn’t sleeping, Mei figured. “It’s fine, I was awake anyway. So did everything come out okay? You can let me know in the morning if you want to get to bed.”

Angela was silent for a brief moment before she said, “I would really like to speak to you now, if it is no trouble. I know we’re on opposite sides of the facility, so I would really like it if you could initiate the vid-comm?”

Mei blinked, then looked over at Jamison. “Um… Jamie and I are… indecent. If you know what I mean. And he’s sound asleep.”

“I know, I can hear him. Please, Mei? I know this is very unprofessional, but like I said, I care about you. You’re like my sister. I need to see your face.”

Something in her voice, and it made Mei suck in a quiet breath. Grabbing her glasses and covering them both up as best she could with the sheets, Mei activated the video link and was instantly staring at Angela’s hollowed and sleepy face. She was still at the clinic.

“Angela.”

“Mei.” She looked down, and Mei could see a tablet in her hands. And despair in her blue eyes. “I told you earlier that I was doing my own set of tests on your body. I’ve kept records of your health, monitoring it closely because of the cryostasis, but nothing too extensive since you were experiencing nothing alarming. I must admit, your pregnancy scare made me curious, and I wanted a much closer look to make sure everything was in top shape, as it’s appeared to be all this time. I have… findings here that I thought you should know immediately.”

She couldn’t be sick, Mei thought. She felt fine. Yeah, maybe she was having trouble sleeping, but it was only the heavy workload she was taking on. And yeah, maybe she was experiencing illusions of children, but it was just the stress and her imagination running wild on her. But she just couldn’t be sick. She would know it.

“Is there something wrong?” Mei asked, trying to keep worry out of her voice.

“It seems that… cryostasis has affected your body more than you know, more than your previous doctors were able to detect at the time. It is nothing life threatening, but it is life changing. Your cryo-pod malfunctioned, and although it kept you alive, it was only doing about half of its job. The ice preserved your outsides, but your insides did not receive the same care. Your heart was still beating normally, and freezing. The technology in your pod was not performing the way it was intended to by monitoring every organ and keeping you stable, and able to withstand the sleep and the harsh conditions for so long, ceasing altogether when it came to your comrades. There was some unique radiation exposure from the malfunction that did not pair well with the increasing temperatures, it seems, and it has affected your ability to reproduce.”

Affected, Mei repeated in her head, her ability to reproduce. Did that mean she had bad insides? Did that mean… “So you’re saying…?”

Angela didn’t seem to know how to respond, but there was a frown she was fighting at the corners of her mouth. “In laymen’s terms, you cannot have children. Ever.”

No children. No children ever. The only sound heard between them was Jamison’s snoring, but Mei could also hear some loud pounding in her head she was sure Angela could _not_ hear. She felt a strange swelling in her chest. Not the good kind, like the charm she felt when Jamie admitted to her so long ago that he had feelings for her he didn’t quite know what to do with, or the pride when Overwatch returned to the world with her as one of its core agents. This was a different kind of swelling altogether. One she most definitely didn’t like, as if something inside her suddenly cracked, and the wound would only get worse.

After opening and closing her mouth multiple times, Mei finally spoke. “Ever as in… forever?”

Her reaction seemed to make Angela’s frown deepen. Mei could see her fighting so hard not to show it. She was still trying to be as professional as she could, but friendship was getting in the way. “That is correct. If you would like to come in and have me explain in further detail, then please feel free to come to the clinic at any time. You should also know that everything I’ve discussed with you tonight is… confidential. It’s your choice who you tell, if you choose to tell at all. My only concern is your well-being.”

She was talking about Jamie and if Mei would tell him what she learned tonight. As if on cue, Jamie rolled over while mumbling in his sleep and slid his stump arm around her waist, trying to pull her closer as his face snuggled into her side.

The swelling in her chest flared.

“I’m sorry, Mei,” Angela said softly. “I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.”

After murmuring a lackluster goodnight and a promise that she would schedule regular examinations, Mei stared off into the darkness of her bedroom, feeling the body of her man as all of his appendages wrapped around her. Her man, she thought grimly, whose first reaction to her possibly being pregnant had been a great big smile.

It hadn’t been just a scare. It was a lie. The entire ordeal had been utterly pointless. It almost seemed silly now, the worry she’d felt.

_Not today. But someday_.

Another lie, Mei realized, feeling herself sink, and it wasn’t into sleep. There was never a _someday_.

The real answer to her twin illusions was… _never_.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Mei moved on autopilot. She opened her eyes, sat up in bed, puckered her lips so Jamie could give her a kiss. She said nothing as she dressed, thought of nothing as she pulled her hair up and checked her daily schedule on her tablet. Felt nothing as she met Jamie and Roadhog and anyone else in need of breakfast down at the cafeteria. Overwatch had a kitchen staff now, and a tray that held a helping of eggs and fruit and toast sat in front of her, untouched. Jamie had gone to grab more food after scarfing down his first plate and Mako sat in front of her at the table nursing a big mug of hot black coffee. It had taken some time, but the pig mask was no longer a constant necessity. His weathered face was covered in a few days-worth of gray beard.

Mei didn’t hear the morning chatter around them or the dings on her tablet when an email was delivered. She only stared down at her uneaten breakfast, waiting for herself to pick up her fork and eat it.

Just how many emotions could one woman experience in just two days? She’d lost valuable years, and even that had not made her feel so numb. Probably because she was still having to deal with the tragedy after all this time. It was still a part of her life, still affecting her in great ways.

Waiting to snap out of it seemed to be her best plan so far.                    

“You gonna eat or just stare at it?”

Mako’s question was like all the white noise around her, but she wasn’t thinking and accidentally answered it. “Bad news, bad morning,” Mei muttered, then realized her mistake. She sat up straight and cleared her throat. “Um.”

“Bad news sucks,” he simply replied. “What’s got you feeling so bad?”

Shit, Mei thought, cursing herself. She didn’t want to talk about this now. She’d had a terrible night of sleep and barely had time to process the news herself. She needed to figure things out. “I found out I… can’t…” Her mind raced. She didn’t like lying and omission was a form of lying. But she needed something, at least for now. “I can’t be a champion swimmer for China.”

Mako didn’t make eye contact often – too much work - but he did now under a lifted bushy gray brow. “A swimmer for China,” he repeated slowly.

“Yes.” Mei nodded, hastily grabbing her own coffee for something to hold. “Like for the… Olympics. I can never go. I don’t have the training and now I don’t have time to swim for practice.”

“You like to swim? Enough to compete in a global competition? Never seen you swim.”

Mei gave a careless shrug. “Maybe I didn’t want to swim _now_. But… someday I wanted to swim. Or at least knew that I could if I decided I wanted to. To swim,” she added quickly.

“Swimming,” Roadhog said again. “For your entire country.”

“It’s not like it’s a crazy concept, Mako. A lot of women like to wait a few years before they decide to… swim. Swimming’s always supposed to be an option, you know? It’s always supposed to be there when you’re ready, when you find a good… teammate. And now it’s not. It’s not available to me anymore.”

He kept his lips pursed in thought for a moment before he said, “Not sure I get it, this sudden desire to swim. Didn’t know women were so into it.”

“We’re _not_ all into it,” she snipped, knowing she needed to alter her tone, but she couldn’t seem to help it. “It’s not for all of us. And sure, maybe I didn’t want to start swimming, maybe I never would actually get around to it because of my very important job and delicate… muscles. But it was still an option. It was still _there_ , even if it was really far away. Now a… swimming career… is off the table. I thought I could have it and now I’m told I can’t and that just… makes me feel _horrible_. In a way I never thought it could. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this about it.”

He only stared at her, blinking. “Yeah, I think you should talk to Jamison instead of me. Seems he’s the better guy for a chat like this. I guess.”

Mei’s eyes lifted and stared into Roadhog’s. Despair filled them. “Jamison?” Guilt ate at her, and maybe that was what she felt in her chest. A weird longing with a mixture of guilt. It hurt so bad, like the incredible sting of ice. “Jamison,” she whispered, and under the table her hands touched her very empty stomach. She was right back to where she started two days ago.

_How was she going to tell him?_

A tray dropped onto the table next to her piled high with more food. Jamie lifted his pant leg on the right to get his prosthetic underneath as he sat. “That damn cowboy almost snagged the last pudding, can you believe it? Selfish bastard. Not on Junkrat’s watch. Snatched this for you in the nick of time, love,” he said to her, placing the vanilla pudding next to her still full tray of food. “Roadie, look away, I’m about to tear apart some of this bacon.”

“Mei can’t be an Olympic swimmer for China,” Roadhog told him casually while reaching over and taking one of Jamie’s three slices of toast. A dainty bite for him was devouring most of the bread in one go.

Jamie stared at him, then looked over at his girl. “You can’t?”

Mei swallowed. _Dammit, Mako_. “Uh, no, no I can’t,” she answered, lifting her shoulder and trying to fix things by making it no big deal.

“Why not? Who says?”

“The… Sports… Association of China. They make all the rules over there and you have to qualify and make rank and… they said no. Understandable, of course. No need to get upset. I just don’t have the experience.”

Jamie only gaped at her. “Those… fuck sticks!”

“You seemed pretty upset about it a minute ago,” Mako commented.

“You were?” Jamison asked her, frowning for a second before the glare returned. “Fuckin’ hell, they’re just a bunch of fancy nitpicks, aren’t they? Gonna turn down a perfectly good swimmer ‘cause of stuff like rank and qualifications and all that other sporty shit. I know, I’ll send ‘em a paint bomb in the mail and when they open the package, kapow! Blue paint everywhere with a note that says _Mei-Ling Zhou, the best swimmer in the whole damn world_. That’ll show those sports guys.”

“Jamie,” Mei scolded, taking his face and turning it to hers, looking deep into his eyes so he would understand her words completely. “You can’t do that. Promise me you won’t send paint bombs to anyone in China.”

“Fine, I won’t, but… Did you just want that shiny gold medal? I can zip on over to China and do a little thievin’. For old time’s sake. Me and Roadie’ll go.”

How could she have once disliked him when they first met? She still had to remind him occasionally that he couldn’t steal, but he only brought it up when it concerned her now. When he thought it would make her happy. Giving him a smile, she said, “No stealing.”

The ache in her chest only intensified and the smile was very forced. He was just trying to support her and here she was lying to him because she was still a little stunned, and maybe a little scared by the real news. The news of what she couldn’t do.

“I love you,” Mei told him, leaning up to give him a little kiss. She didn’t know how to tell him and she hated lying, but that fact was very true.

Jamie grinned like a fool, just as he’d done when she said it the first time. It seemed to always feel like the first time to him every time. “I love you a whole lot, Mei-Ling.” Something then caught his eye, and when Jamie looked over, he gasped. “Roadie! You ate all me food!”

Still chewing, Mako shook his head and pointed one big finger at Mei. “She did it.”

After scraping up the last bits of breakfast, the three were then joined by two glowing faces. Emily Oxton was far enough along in her pregnancy to show the cutest baby bump, and the lovely redhead was all smiles and infectious giggles. Although she wasn’t the pregnant one, Lena was also shining like a star in the sky. Both women couldn’t wait to be mothers.

“Make room, everyone,” Lena called, setting down her and Emily’s food. “My woman here is carrying the weight of two. What’s going on, big guy?”

Roadhog only grunted out a response.

“Bloody oath, that thing looks bigger than the last time I saw you,” Jamie commented as Mei pushed him down so the girls could sit.

Emily grinned and patted her pregnant belly. “She’s my big girl. Angela says she’ll most likely arrive earlier than expected. She just wants to do her business and be out.”

Jamie made a face. “Ew, yuck.”

“I mean develop,” Emily corrected with a playful roll of her eyes. “She has a lot more growing to do. She’s so tiny right now, you could hold her in one hand.”

As Lena and Emily went into more detail about their growing daughter, Mei felt an almost overwhelming mixture of emotions. She felt a slight anxiety that Jamie would make a comment about their meaningless pregnancy scare, two big helpings of guilt for lying to Jamie and Mako, the numbness of her news, and a very odd discomfort while around the expecting mothers. It was wrong to feel that way, Mei knew; they were only sharing their delightful updates. But she couldn’t seem to help it.

And she couldn’t stop staring down at Emily’s belly and feeling a great wave of all of those emotions rolled up together crashing right into her chest again and again like an angry ocean she couldn’t seem to escape.

The sweet and soft part of her felt it would be too rude to get up with some excuse and leave.

She wondered how Jamie was feeling, if this was as uncomfortable for him as it was for her, considering what they’d just gone through. It felt almost like a nightmare, and why did it feel like that at all? She didn’t even know how the news of her infertility truly made her feel yet, so why couldn’t she just get over herself and enjoy her friend’s happiness? It felt like water slowly rising up to her face, and soon she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Instead of laughing with the women and asking silly questions pertaining to the expected second baby of Overwatch – Fareeha would always be the first baby – Mei felt like she was losing oxygen. Like she was in a cage, and there was no way out.

Back in the cryo-pod that was slowly destroying her insides.

“I was wondering, Jamie, if you and Mako wouldn’t mind helping me build her crib?” Emily asked, using her lethal sweet voice. “Lena and I get frustrated with instructions, and this needs to be done correctly. I know you’re pretty handy with a screwdriver.”

Not a wave anymore, Mei realized. Now the pain was a baseball bat hitting her in the head over and over again. Jamie building a crib, and she couldn’t stop the image of him doing exactly that. He would build a crib for a baby that wouldn’t be their own and he would never get the chance to.

Jamie took a second to mull over it. “Can I fancy it up with a trap or two? Kids get snatched outta their little beds too easily… I think.”

Lena and Emily’s eyes widened. Bad thing to say to brand new parents. Lena finally answered, “No traps, since we just decided she’ll be sleeping in our room for the next eighteen years.”

“I’ll do it,” Roadhog muttered.

“Oh, thank you,” Emily breathed with relief. “There’s so much to do before she’s born. We’ll be going to the Lindholm’s soon for our baby shower, and it almost feels like another chore on the list. We would love it if you came to the party, Mei. Mako will be there. He tells me he can win the diaper changing contest.”

“What!” Jamie shouted at Roadhog, shaking his head to disagree. “You can _not_! We’re gonna win that contest, me and Mei. Aren’t we, love?”

The bat wouldn’t stop. She was sure it was bloody by now. “I… suppose.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Emily reached over for the tablet Lena handed to her. She set it on the table and tapped a button for the hologram to beam up above it. “I would like your opinion on a few items in my cart, Mei. We’re trying to be eco-friendly, and any advice is appreciated.”

Mei’s glasses reflected the website of a baby store and all the things an expecting person could buy from it. “Um…”

“I gotta go, love, I’ll see ya in a bit.”

Mei’s head whipped back to Jamison as he stood, readying to leave her to this madness. “Jamie,” she whispered desperately, reaching out to snatch his hand. She didn’t know why she needed him with her so badly, but she did. “Where are you going?”

“Got an appointment that needs keepin’ or else I get a talking-to. I’ll find you later, yeah?”

“But—“

“I found organic bubble bath and shampoo, but I’m also seeing all of this rubbish I don’t understand, like eco-friendly baby wipes and pure silicone baby bottles?” Emily sighed a little as she scrolled through page after page, the hologram showing the whole table her findings. “I don’t know what actually makes a difference.”

“They even got walkers and sippy cups for greenies,” Lena added. “Didn’t know there were such things.”

Jamie kissed Mei goodbye and hobbled off. She stared after him as if she’d been left to the dogs.

Roadhog’s eyes watched her across the table, and studied closely.

“Show her that one thing, love,” Lena said happily to Emily.

“Right. We found the most adorable little onesie and thought of you, Mei,” she said, tapping on an item. It was a picture of a baby outfit, available in all colors. On the chest was fun animated writing. “It says _Mommy’s Little Scientist_. Isn’t that just fab? And look, you can get it in a _Daddy_ version too.” She pulled up a picture of two onesies next to each other, each with the different parental title. “In case the baby is with one parent and not the other.”

“Or if you have twins,” Lena suggested, waggling her eyebrows at Emily.

“Oh stop it, we’re lucky we got just the one with in vitro. I absolutely do not want to carry two humans inside me. One is becoming enough.”

Or if you have twins, Mei thought, staring up at the two tiny onesies as if they were some great discovery she never thought possible. Twins like a little boy and a little girl, one who was rambunctious and drew pictures of Roadhog battling monsters while the other was a little more quiet and thought realistically because those were the things he saw with his own brown eyes. Twins who called their father Pop and remembered every piece of advice he would offer them, no matter how outrageous. Twins who did things together like color and pick flowers that didn’t belong to them and make their mother a pancake because they were good and innocent and didn’t yet know the things they would know eventually.

Cruel things like a forsaken desert wasteland for a home or shattered dreams someone never knew they had.

Twins who would never exist.

The knowledge crashed into her like a stampede, trampling her and leaving her a broken mess, a crushed pile of flesh with insides that didn’t work the way they once had. She couldn’t deal with it earlier or last night, but it hit her now at full force, and she had no choice but to accept it because there the evidence was right in front of her eyes. She couldn’t just hear it from Angela or know the results of her tests made sense. She had to see it. She had to _see_ the baby clothes she would never buy for twins she would never have.

Because she couldn’t birth them. Ever as in forever.

Her kids were little illusions, and nothing more.

Mei could only hear the shrilling ring in her ears and feel nothing but the pounding of her heart and that terrible ache in her chest that fused with the emptiness inside her she was suddenly feeling at such intensity. She had to get out of here. She needed time to process, needed to time to accept and move on. She knew Lena and Emily were giving her a strange glance, and their gaze made her breath hitch, made her want to disappear forever.

Across the table, Roadhog watched as Mei’s hands fell hopelessly to her stomach. She’d done that a few times since they all sat down for breakfast, when she told him how she couldn’t swim.

He was a quiet man but he was a smart man, and it wasn’t hard for him to put two and two together.

“I have to go,” Mei eased out, avoiding concerned eyes as she slid out from the table.

“She’s fine,” Mako said, lifting a hand to stop the girls from going after her as Mei scurried off. “She has a busy day.”

“Are you sure?” Emily asked him. “She looked upset. Lena, go check on her.”

“Let her be. She’s fine,” he repeated, and decided he needed to make a few rounds to cancel that busy day before he went after her.

For now though, Mako would give her some time.

 

* * *

 

 

She’d fled to her car, drove right off the grounds and headed for nowhere for hours. She hit the freeway for speed and the coast for fresh air that whipped through her open window, and still she couldn’t shake the ache. The time away and the quiet and the lack of demands didn’t stop her from feeling so bad, from feeling like something had been taken from her and only now was she wanting it back.

Only now, Mei realized, because she’d been told she couldn’t have it.

She had to get away, get very far away. She had to empty her mind or maybe scream into open air and jump around to release this pent up anxiety. She felt like she was back in the cryo-pod and the door was closing, trapping her inside to face the ice again. She’d lost a decade, and now this. An ability she’d once had before Antarctica.

“I have everything I’ve ever wanted,” Mei said firmly to herself, hands gripping the wheel of her vehicle as it raced. Please believe what I say, she willed. “I have Overwatch. I have friends. I have purpose and a home. I have Jamison.”

She was speeding somewhere, but the location wasn’t on her brain. Autopilot again, and she was getting there fast. Her breath was shaky and she was fighting a deep frown. She refused to believe she was fighting tears too, but she wouldn’t let them fall. Crying would mean she’d lost something great. She didn’t want to feel like that.

She didn’t want… what she recently discovered she wanted.

“I don’t, I don’t want them. _I don’t want them!_ ”

Mei hastily exited the freeway, yanking the wheel and sending her car down the ramp at a speed too high. Someone honked at her, but all she wanted was her destination. She needed the calm, the familiar, the fresh. She needed something she’d made, and not something she couldn’t make at all.

The park again. The park she helped create with its green trees and blue ocean and yellow flowers. Something that would stay here forever, to be enjoyed by hundreds of people for years to come. Families and friends and lovers would come here, cry here, laugh here and live here. Mei found the same bench Jamison had brought her two days ago when she thought her life would be going in a different direction.

How she wished she could go back, and stay there.

Mei slumped into the bench at sunset again, feeling the ocean breeze and smelling the plant life of the park and listening to the waves so distant. She couldn’t fight the frown on her face, and it felt so heavy, pulling her down to depths she didn’t know. And as she stared at the ocean and felt the wind on her cheeks, Mei realized that she _did_ know this feeling. This was nothing new.

All this was, was her endless battle with emergency cryostasis.

Would it always be like this? Would she never find peace from her trauma? She’d lost a decade, but she’d found her purpose, and in that purpose she’d found her odd love. These years with Overwatch and Jamison had convinced her she’d left the pain behind, but that had been unrealistic. Here it was again, telling her she couldn’t do something she never knew she wanted to do.

Shattered dreams she never knew she had.               

Why did it hurt just as bad when the dreams died before you ever knew you wanted them?

She would not carry life inside her. She would not get to feel happiness when she saw a positive on her own pregnancy test when the time was right. She would not show off a baby bump like Emily. She would not see the excitement on Jamison’s face that she saw on Lena’s as he waited for his babies to be born so he could hold them. There were other ways to have children, of course there were, and they were all very important.

But she would not experience it the way she wanted to.

They appeared in front of her, two little bodies, two smiling faces. Faces that weren’t real and faces she would always dream about. She loved those faces. Wasn’t it strange that she would begin thinking of them as burdens, and then grow to want them so much?

It must be her way, Mei thought as she stared at the twins. The same thing had happened with Jamison.

Hunter bounced giddily. Her knees were already dirty. “We want to go down to the beach, Mom. Will you come with us?”

“Pop always trips in the sand,” Jax told her, and covered his mouth as he giggled. “He can never catch us, we’re way too fast.”

“He finds the best seashells though. Whaddaya say, Mom, wanna come?”

Was something else wrong with her too? Mei wondered as her eyes scanned every inch of their faces. Was something wrong with her brain and she just didn’t know about it? It was like they were right there, right there in front of her, two solid beings of children she’d actually given birth to. Half her, half Jamison, and they wanted to go to the beach to play.

Or maybe her heart was still lingering in the idea that she could actually be with them one day.

So solid, so real, Mei mused, leaning forward a little for a better look. If this was how her children would look if she could have them, then she and Jamison had done a very good job. She had to let them go because now it would kill her for no one else to know them. Seeing them like this, in visions, was too hard to face.

So she would say goodbye to her illusions, her dreams. As if they were real, Mei reached out and cupped one cheek of each kid. She could feel it, and the soft touch of their faces sent a zip up her spine full of longing. They only grinned up at her as any child would do for their mother, the setting sun on their faces and in their eyes that were her own. Mei leaned down, and for a moment she pretended they were really there, really hers. Really breathing. She smiled contently as she brought her face down to theirs, nuzzling the cheeks of her babies. They seemed to glow from the affection and she did too, because in this moment, she could feel the warmth on their skin. The _liveliness_.

But the moment was only a fleeting one, and she had to let go so she could heal.

“I can’t,” she whispered to them, and even though her voice was full of agony, the glow on them didn’t dim because she wouldn’t let it. One last second, her cheeks against theirs. Her eyes filled with tears again but she wouldn’t let her sadness touch them, not when she could feel them. Forever happy children.

“Because you don’t exist,” she murmured. “You’re not real.”

And then they were gone, and Mei was all alone on the bench.

She didn’t know how long she sat silently; one hour, one second. The sun was still on its way to the ocean’s horizon when she heard the distant roar of a familiar bike. Her eyes stayed on the sea. Even when a big weight sat next to her, she continued to watch the undulating waves through a veil of tears.

Roadhog gave her a moment, only sat with her so she would feel his presence. He pulled the pig mask up onto his head because no one was around, and enjoyed the breeze and the smell of the fresh air.

“I used to swim, you know,” he uttered after a beat, keeping his voice low. “A very long time ago. Well… guess I wasn’t the swimmer. More of a… champion diver, for New Zealand. Don’t have the equipment to be a swimmer. Obviously.”

Taking a calming breath so her tears wouldn’t fall, Mei glanced up at him.

 

“Found me a good swimmer to be my teammate though,” he continued as he watched some gulls fly and sing. “We were young and free and really wanted a… gold medal. We finally got one, eventually. She swam hard and it was the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen. She did all the hard work to get the medal; I barely did anything at all. But when she won it, and she handed it to me… I’ve never known a feeling like that before. Like you did everything right your whole life so you could be given this… honor. It was an amazing time.”

Finally he looked down at her, at her big sad brown eyes. But even in her sadness she was still smart, and would understand perfectly.

“I know you’re upset you can’t swim. There’s a lot of people who can’t, so you’re not alone. But not being able to swim, not winning that gold medal in the way you thought you could, doesn’t mean you can’t win it another way. There are a ton of sports in the Olympics and you can try different ones, when you’re ready of course. And your _teammate_ ,” he said with emphasis, his voice holding a certain tone meant only for one other person. “Well, he may not be the most graceful athlete, but I know he would try his hardest to help you get it. And he would be good at it, in his own way. Might be a tough competition though.”

He knew, Mei realized, and somehow it felt like a relief. He knew she’d lied because she’d been scared. They weren’t talking about actually swimming in the Olympics for a gold medal, and he was right. He was usually right, no matter what Jamison said.

There were other ways to swim, and that’s just how it would have to be if ever she wanted that gold.

Roadhog looked away again. He didn’t like discussing his past, but to take that sadness out of her eyes, he would. “Don’t have that teammate or that gold medal anymore. Losing them almost killed me, but there were other things I needed to do, like take care of someone else’s lost medal that was burned up and dinged and desperately needed me because he can barely take care of himself.” He stopped to take a big wheezy breath of the sea. It felt good in his old lungs. He and his teammate used to live by the water. “Guess what I’m trying to say is… don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t think because you can’t do one thing, you can’t do anything at all. That’s not true, your Olympic teammate and I both know it. He thinks you’re the greatest woman in the world. And I know that if you ever decide to compete in a different sport for China… well then, you’d be damn good at it.”

Damn good at it, she thought. Damn good at… being a mother.

Mei smiled softly. It was like the junkers had been a two for one deal. Get one and the other comes along too. She’d never minded it, and appreciated Roadhog more now than she’d ever had. Everyone had a tragedy, and if he could survive his, then she would get through hers too. Knowing he would just have to endure it, Mei got up onto her knees on the bench and wrapped her arms around his thick neck to hug him.

“Alright stop,” he grumbled, though he didn’t push her away. “Don’t like being touched.”

“Thank you,” she told him, pecking him on the cheek. “You’re a good man.”

He only let out a gruff noise and waved a hand at her when she eased away.

“Where’s Jamison?” she asked.

“Told him you wanted to meet here at the end of the day. Then I gave him a couple credits so he could get some popcorn while I talked to you. He’s over there, fighting with the pigeons.”

Mei looked over Roadhog’s belly and spotted her man on the sidewalk, his arms flailing around as a horde of pigeons gathered around him. Popcorn was thrown everywhere and the birds raced to get every little piece.

“You should go talk to him,” Roadhog muttered, settling in the bench to wait. “You’ll feel much better when you do.”

He was right again, Mei thought, and stood to go do just that. She needed to tell Jamie about her infertility instead of keeping it from him. She wanted him to be her partner always, and it was something he should know. By the time she got to him, he’d gone to the ledge that overlooked the beach, one boot and peg leg hanging off the edge as birds flew around behind him. He was wearing his blue Overwatch tank again, she saw, taking a seat next to him.

“Hey, love,” Jamie said to her happily. “Want some ‘corn? Those birds damn near almost killed me tryin’ to steal it. But I fought ‘em off, the bloody thieves.”

“No thank you.” She took a deep breath and his flesh hand. “I want to talk to you about something. Something like… not being able to have children. At all.”

Mei flinched a little when his face dropped and he tensed up. Suddenly he was fidgety and nervous, so nervous his hand kept squeezing hers and his eyes diverting her gaze as if ashamed.

“I swear I didn’t know,” he blurted out. “It wasn’t on the brain to get checked for all that mess, and when you said you were having a baby I thought, holy shit, I _can_ do it, guess me junk still works and all. But then you _weren’t_ havin’ a baby and you said you weren’t ready which I took to mean there would come a day when you _were_ ready and I needed to be good for it but I’m _not_ good for it and I know it sucks and you deserve a guy who can do it and I’m so sorry I can’t, Mei, I just want to give you everything you ever want and—“

“Wait, wait,” she ordered, tugging on his hand to get him to stop. “I don’t understand. Why are you saying all of that?”

Jamie took a deep breath and his shoulders slumped. “I left you at brekkie this morning ‘cause I was going back to the doc. If you were wantin’ a baby someday, then I had to make sure I was good to give you one. But I’m… not.” He frowned, and looked as if the news would make her storm off. That after this, she would be done with him. “I’m not, Mei, I can’t do it. The rotten Outback fucked the insides up and my balls are no good, not for makin’ babies. I didn’t know how to tell you but I swear I was gonna, I wouldn’t keep it from you, I promise.”

He went silent and fretfully watched her face. In the quiet, she took in everything he was trying to tell her.

“You’re saying,” she began, her eyes meeting his, “that you went to see Angela this morning to get tested? To see if you could conceive? Because you didn’t know if you really could before?”

He swallowed and nodded. “And she said no. Something about bad sperm count and abnormally shaped or some shit. I know I’m not the healthiest guy, but I’ve been workin’ on it all this time ‘cause I want to be around as long as I can, to be with you. And when you said you weren’t against little ones for the future… It got me thinking if I could even get you pregnant when we found out your marker thing was a fluke, even after all the therapy.”

“You’ve really improved,” she told him, patting his hand.

“I guess,” he muttered, then sighed. “Look, I know I still don’t understand a lot about this _civilized_ world. It’s a lot sometimes, it feels like I’m tryin’ to cram a whole bloody library in the noggin and it makes me feel like I’m never gonna get it right. But I do know that if you ever want a baby, Mei, then I’ll do whatever I have to do to get you one. Even if it’s not from me. We can make that work, I know we can. I just... don't want you to go without.”

Mei understood now. When she mentioned never having a baby, he thought it was because of him, because he’d received practically the same news she had, and both of them had gone through the initial shock alone instead of going to each other. He was taking on the weight of their little world, but he wouldn’t go through it alone now. Neither of them would.

“Jamie,” she whispered, lacing their fingers together. “Late last night Angela called me when you were sleeping. She told me that cryostasis had an effect on my reproductive organs, and they aren’t able to do their job because of it. I can’t get pregnant. That’s what I was going to tell you earlier. So if you think it’s because of you… It’s not. It’s me too. I can’t do it either.”

He had to take a moment to digest everything. When he did, his eyes fell to her stomach, and then back to her face. “You can’t have a baby?”

Mei shook her head. Somehow it felt easier now. Telling him made it easier. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this morning, or wake you up when I found out. I was a bit shocked and somehow scared and I didn’t know _how_ to tell you. I know I shouldn’t have gone through it alone, but when you’re a woman, you don’t think you’ll ever hear news like that. You think you can always just… do it. I guess it was also harder to tell you because… I was afraid I was taking something from you too.” Mei rested her cheek on his arm, wanting him close as their hands made a strong grip. “I want you to always be happy. And when you thought I was pregnant, you looked like you were. I love you so much and I couldn’t bear it if you grew old wanting something I could never give you.”

“Mei, that’s… That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, ever.”

She blinked, then glanced up at him. What a way to ruin the moment. “Excuse me?”

“Do you really think that if I get the chance to grow old with _you_ , I would feel any kind of regret at all? Mei… I wasn’t supposed to survive Junkertown. Look at me, love, I accidentally blew my own leg off and I _still_ think that is one of the most amusing days of my life. I thought the closest thing I would get to this, to _us_ , was a quick fuck in an outhouse with someone who wasn’t tryin’ to kill me. But somehow I got the loveliest, smartest, toughest, sexiest, most perfect sheila I ever known to say she loves me with that mouth she once used to snip at me.”

Jamison wasn’t one to give romantic words often, or at least ones she could never take seriously. But what he said now pierced her heart like a healing arrow, and the ache went away completely.

He gave her a smirk, then leaned down to set his forehead on hers over her bangs. “If I get to keep you, then far as I’m concerned, I got everything I could ever want. And I’ll want you every day, just as you are. Even when you’re snipping at me.”

Just as she was. Mei wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close so she could kiss him. She didn’t stop, kissed him deeper when he pulled her into his lap under the orange light of the setting sun and as the birds stole away his popcorn with waves crashing down below.

“I guess we’re the same,” Jamie said, still kissing her and sliding his flesh hand under her tank just to feel her skin at her lower back. “You can’t have a baby, I can’t put one in you.” He gave a shrug. “I would rather be the same as you than anyone else.”

“If we really wanted to be parents, there are other ways. I just feel so bad for Angela. I know she hated giving us the news.”

“Don’t want her job, too depressing.” He kissed her neck, her jaw, her cheek, before returning to her lips. “Maybe it’s better this way. If we ever did have kiddies of our own, I think they’d easily be able to take over the world. They’d be too smart and too charming and too good-looking. Just like their ol’ Pop.”

Mei rolled her eyes, but smiled. “They’d be mischievous like their Pop too.”

But he was right. They were the same, in more ways than one. And whatever else the horrid wasteland of the Outback or the ice inside the cryo-pod did to them in the future, at least they would have someone who would understand completely. They were… teammates.

“There’s an upside to all this,” Jamie commented, holding her in his lap and flinching back a little when a gull flew too close. “At least we don’t have to wear rubbers no more when we fuck.”

Mei opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. Instead, she gave a shrug and said, “That’s true.”

“Gotta look on the bright side.” Jamie watched the sun as it touched the horizon, sinking down until the morning. The greatest fire there was, and it was beautiful. “I know it’ll be hard though, even if you don’t feel it as much now. Babies are coming, and they’ll only keep coming. But we can get through it. We’re the same.”

“The same,” she repeated, kissing his cheek and then settling in his lap so they could watch the sun sink.

Maybe the longing would never truly go away now that she knew it was there. Maybe there would be a part of her that would always wish for the faces of two little twins only she could picture. But she was strong. She was made of unbreakable ice and her teammate burned as hot and as hazardous as a firestorm. One powerful unit.

And they were the same.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twins Hunter and Jax are my meihem fanbabies, and I needed to put them in this chapter. I might write them again here or on tumblr when I need some fluffy Fawkes family junk, so they aren't gone forever. Sorry for the emotions in this chapter, but you know you loved feeling them ;)


	5. Be Still, My Son Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their world was worth fighting for, so Mei will bring the junkers with her on her quest to heal the Outback. But there is more to the wasteland of Australia than Junkertown, and not only the land needs healing. Her favorite junker loves his home, but not the home he doesn't really remember.

_He was the scariest bloke in the entire Outback._

_Some said he roasted metal over a giant fire until it was blazing red hot and then ate it like a crisp, crunch, crunch, crunch with indestructible teeth before sending it to his iron stomach. Some said he could fry a guy with flames that shot right out of his eyes, melting them instantly until they were a puddle of boiling goo. And others said he could control fire with his bare hands, even create explosions with a simple devastating thought._

_There were even stories of him kidnapping other kids and using mind control to force them into slavery. The great sound of his maniacal laughter swept through the plains like a hot wind. Fear and flame and mayhem followed him wherever he went, every big step he took._

_The scariest bloke in the Outback. Probably the entire world too._

_Dr. Boom._

_The little boy crouched behind a wooden chair next to a table that held a mug of the amber fluid Dr. Boom liked to drink. Probably some kind of special elixir that strengthened his dastardly powers. He had to stay quiet, he reminded himself, even lifting a finger to press against his lips. He had to stay out of sight if he wanted to stop Dr. Boom and save all those kids under his control. Then he would be the hero of the entire world. Everyone would know his name and even his mom would be proud._

_But there he was, right there. The boy peeked out from behind the chair, tried to keep his little feet from sliding on the sand. The band around his forehead kept the sweat out of his eyes – and made him feel tough – but it was a bit hard to see the mad doc with the sun blaring on him like a spotlight._

_But the boy, the hero of the world, knew what Dr. Boom looked like all too well. He was a giant, head always grazing the top of any doorway. And big and strong like a mountain, the strongest man the boy had ever seen in his life, with muscles that ripped shirts too small, and boy was that funny. The head that hit doorways was as bald as a baby, but the big beard underneath was as black as the night sky. His arms were inked here and there, and the boy always thought maybe the drawings in his skin were somehow the source of his powers._

_Dr. Boom was talking into some kind of device, the boy saw as he studied the villain. Probably contacting his lackeys to kidnap more kids._

_Not on his watch._

_It was now or never. Today was the day he would stop Dr. Boom once and for all._

_With a deep courageous breath, the boy flew out from behind the chair to face his archenemy. The world would know how brave he was when they heard of his victory._

_“A ha!” the boy shouted suddenly, lifting his hands to aim his weapon. “I’ve finally found you in your secret lair. Freeze, Dr. Boom.”_

_Dr. Boom glanced over at him. He mumbled a few things into the talking device, disconnected, then spun around dramatically to face him. “You should know you can’t freeze fire, hero. How did you get past my defenses?”_

_“By being real quiet and quick, that’s how. Now put your hands on that bald noggin of yours and come with me. I’m lockin’ you up for good this time.”_

_“Gonna throw me in a cage, eh? You ain’t taking me without a fight, you little rat.” Dr. Boom lifted his hands and shot out a blaze of fire. The boy shouted as his only weapon was melted from his hands, leaving him unarmed. The villain laughed mightily, fists resting on the waistband of his jeans. “Defenseless already, hero? Here’s some more heat.”_

_The boy thought quickly and dived out of the way as Dr. Boom sent big fireballs heading right for him. He rolled along the dirt, sending puffs of it into the air as he dipped and dodged. The heat of the fire was intense and one sailed right past his cheek. A close call, but the hero of the world wouldn’t be defeated so soon. He just needed to get close enough for a good tackle._

_“Soon you will join the other children and do as I command,” Dr. Boom said with his great voice, throwing fireball after fireball. “The world will be mine and everything will burn. No one can defeat Dr. Boom, the most intelligent, strong, and most handsome man in the Outback.”_

_“Hey,” the hero said, standing up proudly, so bravely that Dr. Boom just had to stop throwing fire at him. The boy lifted his hand, pointed at himself. “That title belongs to me.”_

_The hero charged, his courage so great that Dr. Boom yelled in fear. He tackled the villain straight to the ground, and proved that he was stronger than the giant underneath him. Dr. Boom struggled as the hero tried to subdue him._

_“Give up, Dr. Boom, I’ve got you now!”_

_“Please, hero, please have mer…” Dr. Boom stopped squirming as he stared up at the boy, taking in some detail. He tilted his head, then said, “Hey. You lost a tooth.”_

_The boy whipped his head away from a prying hand, glaring down at the villain. “I’m the hero of the whole world and you will do what I sa—“_

_Dr. Boom ignored him and suddenly wiggled one giant finger into the boy’s mouth, lifting his lip up to inspect the little gap between the other teeth. “Since when did your tooth fall out? Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_He groaned and said even with a lifted lip, “It ain’t a big deal.”_

_“Sure it is. I wanna see it. Where’d you put it?”_

_The boy sighed and sat up while still atop Dr. Boom. He reached deep into his dirty shorts pocket until he found it. Opening his palm, he presented the baby tooth resting in the middle of his small, equally dirty palm._

_Dr. Boom sat up, keeping the hero in his lap as he stared down at the tooth with gleaming eyes that weren’t very Dr. Boom like. A big finger poked at the tiny tooth and his grin changed from evil villain to something soft and proud. Just like it always did when something like this happened._

_“Aww, son,” Dr. Boom fussed, completely out of character as he gathered the boy up, ruffling his messy blond hair. “Look at you. Becoming a true blue man.”_

_“I ain’t!” the boy shouted, trying to push the giant man back. “It’s just a dumb tooth. Don’t mean nothin’. You’re supposed to be trying to capture me.”_

_“Looks like I already got you. And I claim this as my prize.” He plucked the tooth from the kid’s hand and slipped it into his shirt pocket. “Gonna keep this little bugger. My boy’s first tooth.”_

_He tried to keep the game up and get Dr. Boom back – he was the best advisory for the hero of the whole world – but he saw how proud the big man was, so the boy couldn’t help but grin in delight. It was a lot of fun to pretend to fight Dr. Boom and dodge imaginary fireballs, but sometimes it was fun to just be himself too._

_His Pop was the best. The best man in the Outback._

_Pop suddenly lifted himself up from the dirt of the front yard, keeping his boy in his arms as he headed for the house. The man really was a giant, not just to his small son, and was able to hold him in one arm. It felt like being in a tree._

_“No!” the boy shouted, turning in his arm and leaning over his shoulder as he was taken from his play area. “The game was just gettin’ good. We still got some light left. C’mon, Pop, please!”_

_“Hush, boy. The sun’s going down and I still gotta feed you and clean you before bed. My little rat is a filthy one.”_

_The boy sighed, but gave in. He was pretty hungry and could use a bite. As his dad carried him back to their house where just the two of them lived, he wrapped his little arms around his neck. “You think mom is coming for dinner tonight? She knows the time.”_

_The lazy grin stayed on Pop’s face. Usually it would fall off at the mention of the woman, but some things were more important. Like his son not knowing the whole truth when it came to his mother. He didn’t need that in his life just yet. “Don’t think so. Looks like you’re gonna have another meal with the crazy Dr. Boom.”_

_The boy giggled, his fingers twirling through his father’s black beard. “You know, Pop, I bled a lot when that silly tooth came out. Like a real hero of the world. It was disgusting!”_

_“There’s no hero like you, Jamison. Now let’s get you in the tub. You stink.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The civilized world was a funny one, and he still didn’t really understand it. There were so many different rules to everything, silly rules for silly things. In the world outside the Outback, a guy couldn’t catch a rabbit, make a fire, and skin and eat it. He would look like a barbarian… or at least in certain areas. But he would definitely get the crazy eye. What he thought looked cool actually looked like garbage, and what he thought sounded cool was actually nonsense. He didn’t understand the way, but he thought he should.

Again, only when it came to certain areas. Everything else was bull dust to him.

“I got a question for you lot.”

The sound of Jamison’s voice had all three heads lifting up. The junker’s workspace at the Watchpoint was the messiest and by far most dangerous – there were bombs and sharp objects everywhere - but it didn’t stop the visitors, now that they’d established some kind of relationships with some Overwatch kin. The three looked at him; Roadhog sitting on the couch carelessly placed in the middle of the big room, Hana sitting next to him, and Lucio lounging on the floor at her feet. The two superstars were frequent visitors now. Another thing Jamie didn’t seem to understand.

“What’s up?” Lucio asked.

Jamison, who was standing in front of a cracked floor length mirror propped against his worktable, placed his hands on his hips and asked, “Do you guys think I’m… a bit of alright?”

The two simply stared in confusion as Roadhog let out a rumbly laugh. It wheezed on, and after a moment, he stared to cough. He sent a fist a few times into his chest to clear it up, still chuckling.

Jamison glared at him. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up before you choke.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” Hana asked, pausing the game on her handheld and crossing a leg. “English please.”

Roadhog couldn’t help but answer after the coughing eased up. “He wants to know if he’s good looking.”

The two looked back at Jamison, and then started to chuckle softly as well. Lucio, the sweet one, tried to hide his grin with his hand while Hana was not so polite.

“Fine then, I get it, must be a butt ugly freak, is that it? You got a pig for a face, Roadie, and you, _Miss Celebrity_ ,” Jamison added to Hana, “got one shrill voice on you, _and_ you’re too thin. And you,” he continued, staring Lucio down. He stopped, tapping his one foot impatiently as he tried to think of something. The frog was so sweet and perfect. “You… have… Dammit, can’t think of anything for you right now, but I will!”

“We’re not laughing at you,” Lucio said, sending an elbow into Hana’s calf so she’d stop. “Well… I guess we are. But not because we think you’re ugly. Your question just seems… absurd.”

“We’re sure laughing at him, huh, big guy?” Hana joked, leaning against Roadhog and looking even tinier next to his giant body. The couch cushions under her were much higher than his.

“What I’m saying is,” Lucio continued, standing and skating away from the other two, “it’s a strange thing for you to ask. You run around the world with a peg leg and your hair on fire and no shirt. Why do you even care?”

“But what about the rest of me?” Jamison asked, looking at himself again in the mirror. “What about my face? I got a nice face, don’t I? Nice sharp angles, just like in those fashion mags Hana’s always looking at? And the bod? Might be on the skinnier side, but look at these abs, froggie. And I got a tat! Aren’t tats the thing? I’m dangerous and… tall.”

Lucio gave a shrug. “I think you look fine. You’re you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that jazz.”

“Oh, my stars, oh, lemme clutch my pearls, that boy is handsome as _sin_!” Hana placed the back of her hand over her forehead, making Roadhog laugh harder. “What a looker. Be still my beating heart. All that soot on your face and that gold tooth in your head. I _swoon_.”

Jamison growled and charged for Hana, who yelped and tried climbing over Roadie to get away. “Give her to me, Hog, I’m gonna get some grime all over that clean face.”

“Don’t you dare, I have moisturizer on.”

The two roughhoused with Roadhog in the middle, too big for one to get to the other. Hana used his big hand as a shield and Jamie couldn’t quite get to her with his belly in the way. It was all fun and games but, boy, would it be satisfying to dirty Miss Perfect up. Maybe even video it for her fans.

Only Lucio, who’d been spinning in his skates away from the ruckus, heard the doors whoosh open as another visitor entered. Casually, he waved and said, “Hello, Mei.”

“Mei?” Jamie asked suddenly, half of him draped over Roadhog’s belly while trying to reach for a squirming Hana. He perked up, enough for Hog to push him off, sending him to the floor. Quickly Jamison got back to his feet. “Snowflake. Good to see you, love. You look nice. Real nice.”

“Well, well,” Hana muttered when Lucio skated closer, noting the brightness in her Aussie friend’s eye and the change in his voice. “The reason for the weird questions. Guess we know who he wants to look a _bit of alright_ for.”

Roadhog grumbled. “Don’t even get me started.”

“Everyone,” Mei greeted, sending out a wave as she descended the stairs down to the workshop. She looked at Jamison, then down at her Summer Games sweatshirt when he’d mentioned how nice she looked. “Uh, thank you.”

“You looking for someone?” Jamie asked while the others watched from the couch behind him. “I can help you find him. Or her. There’s Roadie right there, if you need him. Go help the lady, Roadie,” he demanded.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could speak to both of you? You and Roadhog, if you aren’t already engaged.”

“I ain’t engaged to nobody, Mei, I swear it!”

“No,” Mei said softly, clutching the silver folder in her hands. “I mean, if you aren’t busy. Can I talk to you two? Please.”

“Oh… yeah sure! Okay, everyone out, that means you both, hit the road, mates.” Jamison jerked a thumb towards the door, then folded his arms as Lucio skated by with Hana following.

Hana sent a playful punch his way, then grabbed Jamie’s face and pulled him down for a kiss on his sooty cheek. He groaned from her constant need to give goodbye kisses. “You’re dangerous and tall. A bit of alright,” she told him, patting that same cheek before following Lucio to the doors. Just the three of them now.

“So what do you need from these old junkers, eh?” Jamie asked, waving Mei further in before going to a half broken chair by his workbench and dropping into it. “Need to blow someone up? A classic Hook ‘n Cook? That’s our favorite one.”

“No,” Mei muttered, then sat down next to Roadhog on the couch. She glanced up at him and wondered if the big man was even listening anymore. She could never tell. “So, lately I’ve been working on a little side project of my own. I wanted to share my research with you.”

“We don’t got nothing to do with the cold. Never even seen the natural snow. The big monkey always keeps us here when you bunch go north.”

“I know that. This has nothing to do with the north. Quite the opposite, in fact. As you both know, I analyze climate patterns, and the influence the weather has on the environment. Pretty much my entire job is understanding particular areas so the information can help the world better adapt to what’s going on around them. Or even… provide solutions to climate issues that are affecting the locals.” She set the folder on her lap, opened it, then waited a beat. “Obviously I specialized in snow cover. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tackle other regions. And…”

She just needed to say it, Mei told herself. She had all the paperwork in the folder, all the knowledge in her head, and all the drive to help in her heart. And she wanted to help, she’d come to realize weeks ago when she started her initial research.

It had taken her a bit, but somehow she’d become friends with the junkers. Roadhog had been terrifying and a big mystery of a man, and Junkrat had been a hot-head and too unpredictable for her liking. But partnering with them for Overwatch had slowly changed her mind. Roadhog, though still terrifying in battle, simply enjoyed the quiet and an occasional cup of tea with her. Junkrat had taken longer to call him her friend, but he could be sweet in his own crazy way. And he’d saved her in the field enough times for her to trust him.

They’d also come to learn their ways of combat complimented each other. It was easy for him to take out a target when they were frozen solid.

So, because they were all friends and partners, Mei forced herself to tell them her plan. The worst the junkers could say was no.

But the plan was also meaningless without them.                              

“And,” she continued hastily when she saw Jamison flick up a brow, “before I go on, I just want to say that I’m not trying to be insensitive. When I get to working, I know I can come off that way. I don’t mean it. I hope you know that now,” she said straight to Jamison.

“Insensitive?” Jamie asked, tilting his head. Mei sighed. Even when she hadn’t liked him, he’d still never allowed her hurtful words to truly affect him. “You? But you’re so sweet and cute. Why’re you gonna sound insensitive?”

“Because she wants us to take her to Junkertown,” Roadhog answered suddenly.

Mei blinked, then looked up at Mako next to her, who was hardly moving a muscle. “How did you know?”

“Please,” he grumbled, and it sounded like he was rolling his eyes under the mask. “That’s what you’re gonna ask, isn’t it? I’m too old for segues.”

“Junkertown?” Jamison repeated, dropping his peg leg with a _thump_ onto his workbench. He also lifted a screwdriver. “ _You_? In Junkertown? You got no business in Junkertown. Definitely not a place for a snow lady like you.”

“Agreed,” Roadhog said with one big nod.

“Can you both please let me finish my presentation before you reject it? I have all my research right here—“

“Sorry, love, but that research don’t mean shit when it comes to home. You don’t know what it’s like. None of the dills here know what it’s like ‘cept me and Roadie.”

“Exactly!” Mei said with a grin. “The Outback of Australia wasn’t always the wasteland it is now. Everything that happened to it was caused by human and omnic interference. It wasn’t necessarily an environmental thing, but the environment was affected, which had an impact on the air and the land, food and water, and the humans who lived there. Like the two of you. You’re both under Angela’s care now when it comes to your health, but what about everyone else? What about the Outback itself?”

Jamie lifted a brow and a bare shoulder. “Outback’s just fine the way it is. Not for everybody, but it’s tough and dangerous and home to the meanest of the mean. She’s not supposed to mix with the rest of the world.”

“That’s not the point. You two were in bad shape when you first got here. When she started your treatment, Angela didn’t even know if you were going to make it, Jamie. It took, and still takes a lot to keep you on your one foot. All because of the conditions you were both living in for so long.” She sighed, but still gripped the folder. She had to try to convince them, she just had to. “The sad fact is, no one has given the Outback much thought since Junkertown was formed. Or they have and maybe they’ve tried, but, as you’ve said, it’s too dangerous since the junkers took back their land. Climate and weather reports for the Outback haven’t been updated in years, and no one has taken a step to helping the environment, or the people there. People like you two, who’ve now been given proper care and can possibly live a much longer life.”

“So what you’re saying is,” Jamison began, using the screwdriver to point at her, “you want us to take you to Junkertown so you can do some science experiments on the dirt? Fool’s errand, abso-bloody-lutely.”

“Why?” she asked, and she tried not to sound whiny. Again, work could make her appear a way she wasn’t. She just cared. A lot. “If the two of you come with me, bring me exactly where I’d want to go for samples and pictures and video, then why is it foolish?”

“Two words, snowy,” he said with mechanical three fingers up. “Finders keepers. That’s one of the rules set by the Queen. You think some junker pack wandering about is gonna look the other way when they see you, a pretty and very _not-junker_ woman and all her knick-knacks? You think they’re gonna be _understanding_? No, love, they’re gonna kill me and Roadie, take you and all your stuff and sell it, _and_ sell you. Another two words for you. Bounty hunters. Everyone’s lookin’ for me, that’s why I got Hog here. I can’t keep out of their grimy fingers and protect you at the same time, I don’t got the two legs and two arms for it.”

Mei closed her mouth on a snippy comeback. That was actually very sweet of him, thinking he needed to look out for her. But she had to keep going. She had more to say. “There are just a few areas I’d like to go, to finally give these reports an update and maybe work towards a solution with my findings. I can even narrow it down to two, excluding Junkertown, if that’s what you want. You’ll both be with me at all times, and I’m pretty good in a fight if there’s trouble. I’ll do whatever you ask of me, I just… I really want to do this. I have to try to preserve the world for the future.”

“Junkertown don’t deserve you, Mei, _believe_ me.” A loose screw in his leg caught his attention, so he went about tightening it.

“I can help,” she said sharply, even standing up and stomping her foot down when her temper started to burn. The boys looked up at her from the outburst. “I know I can. Even if it’s something little, even if it’s just one person, I can do something. I slept for nine years doing _nothing_ ,” she continued, staring each of them in the eye. At least she hoped she met Roadhog’s eye. “I was trapped. And now that I’m awake, _this_ is how I want to spend my time. And if you’re not going to help me… Well then I’ll just go by myself.”

“That’s stupid,” Roadhog muttered to her.

“I don’t care! I want you two to come with me. I trust you and I need you to show me the way. But if you won’t do it, I’ll find my own way. I want to help the Outback, it’s what I _do_ , even if I die trying. I trekked across the Arctic all alone, so I will absolutely go to Australia without you.”

Jamison blinked at her, screwdriver in hand, and Roadhog was still and silent. It was quiet in the workshop save for her slightly heavy breathing. She was passionate, she always had been when it came to saving the world. Mei obviously wanted them to come with her, and something inside her willed them to change their minds. She wasn’t sure why, but it felt as if nothing would go right if they didn’t join her.

She needed the junkers, but as she’d said, she would find her own way.

Mei hoped she didn’t have to.

Roadhog let out a big sigh, then said, “He’s the boss. Talk to him. I go where he goes.”

“Aww, fuck, thanks a lot, mate, heaping the whole load on me. Crikey,” Jamie grumbled before standing and walking off. “I need to think about this.”

Mei was right behind him. She had one junker, now she needed the other. “If this is about not going back home—“

“Stop right there, darl. Trust me, I love going back to Junkertown, nothing compares to it. But they don’t even willingly let me in. And there are other places outside of Junkertown that I don’t think you should see. It might… do something to that big heart of yours. And I like that big heart in there.”

Another sweet thing to say. Mei looked up at him, clutching her folder to her chest. “I told you, I’ll do whatever you ask of me. We don’t go to dangerous areas, we don’t go to Junkertown. You say yes or no every step of the way. I promise. I’ll owe you one, Jamison, please. Please come with me.”

Jamie bared his teeth and growled, fisting his hands in his hair and squeezing tight. He was torn, all because of that pretty face of hers he couldn’t stop thinking about since the first day he met her. He didn’t like being torn, he’d been torn apart enough.

Then something flickered in his head, like a sparkler being lit. She’d own him one, he reminded himself. And he loved a good bargain. Especially when he gained the most.

“You’d owe me?” he said again, hair now standing out like horns from his gripping it. “Like say… maybe when we get back from Oz, you come hang out with me?”

“You want me to hang out with you? Seriously?”

“Well I mean like, a fancy hang out. Like how they do in the films. Like you put on something totally mag and I’ll clean up and take you somewhere nice. Oh, and you gotta hold my hand. I promise it’ll be clean and I won’t hold yours too tight.”

“Oh,” Mei said softly. “I see.”

Jamie grinned down at her. He definitely had a thing for her and sure talked enough about all those hot feelings inside to Hog. He liked being around Mei. He liked looking at her and smelling her and listening to her voice and watching the way she moved with her blaster in hand. He tried telling her, but it usually came out all wrong. “I know you say no most of the time because you don’t want to shit where you eat and—“

“Can you not call it that please?” she asked, wincing a bit. “I say no to your dates because I don’t want to make anything weird between us.”

“It won’t be weird, I promise. C’mon, Mei, I’ll take you to the Outback, keep you out of trouble, and after we get back we go on a date. Just one date. A harmless one, and I won’t try anything naughty. But if you like _boyfriend material_ Junkrat, then he’s all yours, love.”

Mei narrowed her eyes as she studied him, but all he did was give her a big innocent smile on the least innocent face in the world. One date wouldn’t be so bad. She knew he wanted her; he would always show up at the lab to invite her somewhere he thought would be romantic, or try to seduce her with what he thought were enticing poses on her desk. She didn’t encourage him, but Mei knew she also didn’t tell him to stop after they’d become friends.

One date wouldn’t be so bad. It was a very small price to pay. And maybe it was no price to pay at all.

“Okay,” she told him, then smiled big and squealed softly in excitement when she realized they would soon be heading off to Australia. “You won’t regret this, Jamie. Thank you.”

“Nah, don’t mention it. But you do as I say, got it? I’m the boss when it comes to the traveling and whatnot. And you’re gonna wear the gear I give you, yeah?”

“Yes. Yes, I understand. Oh!” She did a little spin, and imagined – hopefully – a brand new Outback in years to come. “If this works out, Jamie, you’ll be a true hero.”

“Yeah, love,” he told her, then watched her walk away with a bounce in her step. “Hero of the whole world.”

And for the first time in forever, Jamie felt the slightest ball of dread begin to form in his stomach.

Something he wasn’t used to.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Okay, Snowball,” Mei said, hands on her hips as she finally flicked the last check on her list. “All the equipment is ready to be loaded up on the lift, and I have all the paperwork signed. The junkers are on their way and then we’re off.”

Her little bot zipped around her, beeping happily, then landed on a nearby box. Jamison’s signature smiley face was drawn on one of the sides with marker.

“Right,” she sighed, then leaned down to open it. “Time to gear up.”

It had taken a couple of weeks to get to this point. After gathering the research and convincing the junkers to go with her, Mei had finally brought the idea of her going to Australia to Winston, Jack, and Ana. She thought it would be easy to get the Overwatch assistance she needed if she had everything else in place, showing them that she knew exactly what she was doing and that everything would go according to her plans. When pitching the idea to the three, she had a list of all the machinery she wanted, the coordinates, a timeline, and the blessing of their own two junkers, who already agreed to go with her.

Of course they’d been skeptical, and like the junkers originally, they’d told her it wasn’t a good idea. They didn’t really know the Outback, it was too unknown for their liking, even with Junkrat and Roadhog going with her. They’d been away from Junkertown for too long, and could return to a location even they didn’t know anymore.

“And honestly, Mei,” Winston had said after respectfully organizing her research back into its folder, “We don’t want to lose you again.”

But Mei had been too prepared, and had eventually convinced them. Now she had everything she wanted… if she kept in constant communication with someone at base.

She couldn’t wait to show the junkers everything she’d acquired for their trip to saving the Outback. But first, she needed to uphold her end and wear the gear.

Snowball beeped and did a spin in the air. Two sad eyes appeared on his screen.

“I know you want to come with me, but you can’t. The locals aren’t very kind to robots. It’s safer for all of us to keep you here. But I promise I’ll be in good hands. Our own junkers will be right there with me.”

Two big knocks on her door, followed by, “Oi, Mei, you ready? Let’s get moving.”

Snowball seemed to sing in beeps, and did a cute flip at the sound of Jamie’s voice through the door. The two sad eyes on the screen changed into two blinking hearts.

“Oh stop that,” Mei scolded playfully, patting the top of her bot. She grabbed her pack, then opened the door to find both men waiting for her. “Ready.”

The junkers had pulled gear for Mei to wear when in the Outback since she couldn’t wear her usual attire. Too distracting and an easy target to spot, and they wanted to make her invisible to the local eye. Instead of snow gear, they’d given her dark cargo pants ready to holster her blaster and other weapons, combat boots, a dark blue tank, and an old gun-metal gray coat that fell all the way down to her ankles made of simple cloth. Matching long dark blue fingerless gloves that reached her elbows when the coat sleeves were pushed up would add another shield from the sun, and a knife was hidden in her boot and another on her belt for a stranger to see in case someone came sniffing around. Her glasses could stay on her face.

But the pretty sunhat she wanted to pair with the outfit was quickly vetoed.

Too cute, they’d said. Mei didn’t really feel like herself, but she supposed that was the entire point. At least she got to wear a little blue.

Jamie gave a low whistle when he saw the finished look. “Looking ace, love. I’d definitely get into a squabble with a bloke or two for you.”

“And he would lose,” Roadhog added. “Just like he did the last time he tried picking up a woman at the bar.”

“Don’t _tell her that, Roadie_ ,” Jamie hissed up at him.

“Goodbye, Snowball. I’ll be home soon,” Mei told her bot, holding him close and giving him a little kiss. He then zipped over to Jamie, did a spin and made a pair of lips appear on his screen, followed by a lip smacking sound.

Jamison only rolled his eyes at the bot and walked away.

“Before we leave, I have to show both of you everything I have coming with us.” They entered the hanger where their air lift was waiting for them, loaded now and ready to depart. On the bottom level where the equipment was stored, she pressed a button and had the doors opening up. Everything was strapped down for travel.

“I got us a van when traveling long distances. It’s like a mini-lab on hover wheels, and it’s solar powered. It’s connected to this,” she said, lifting her hand and showing them a watch attached to her wrist. “Even if we get separated from it, the computer can pinpoint my location and come retrieve us. It’s impenetrable to anyone but the three of us, so break-ins aren’t a concern. Winston made sure it would look more like a junker vehicle on the outside.” She climbed into the storage and opened the back doors of the van. “And it’s big enough in the back to store your motorcycle. I hope you don’t mind that I had it moved,” she said to Roadhog as she showed them the chopper settled inside the back.

He simply gave one nod. He would rather have it with them for quick escapes, if needed. Plus, he preferred his own mode of transportation.

Mei’s coat flapped behind her as she jumped down. “We’ll be departing as soon as they finish fueling. I also made sure we have plenty of food and water, so no need to hunt the local wildlife. Oh, Jamie,” she said happily, jumping a little and grabbing his face to pat his cheeks. He automatically gave a big smile and shivered a bit at her affections. “I’m so excited! I worked so hard and now it’s finally happening. Let’s get settled for takeoff.”

When she walked off to enter the lift, Roadhog looked down at Jamison and spotted his young boss’s lazy grin and sparkling, love struck eyes. He scoffed. “Get ahold of yourself, boy. Woman asks you to take her to the most dangerous place in the world, and you cave right in.”

“I can’t help it, mate, you’ve seen her. She’s all eyes and tits, they put a proper spell on me.”

Roadhog grumbled. “Well you better snap out of it when it counts. We gotta bring her back in one piece, otherwise the monkey will have our asses.”

Jamie shuddered at the thought. “Shut your big mouth on that and let’s go. We got this. Coming, love!” he called when Mei poked her head out.

When they entered the lift, Roadhog instantly went to the biggest seat and took it, instantly buckling himself in. When Jamie sat and forgot, Hog reached over and snapped his belt into place for him. Mei did the same and pulled out a large folded paper.

“I have a map of the Outback, as updated as I could find. I figured I’ll use the trip to calculate—“

Jamie instantly plucked it from her and handed it right off to Roadhog without even looking at it. “Sorry, love, but it’s no good. Roadie’s in charge of that, he’s good with maps. If a junker didn’t update it, then it’s shit to you. Hog here will correct the map of the Outback the way the junkers made it, and then you can have a little look-see, yeah?”

“Oh,” Mei said, looking to Roadhog who was already pulling out a maker and scribbling on the map. She supposed it was a better idea to have a junker-made map than one found on the internet. “Yes. Okay.”

It would take hours to get to Australia, and then a bit more time to get to the irradiated Outback. Lucky for them, the wasteland would never have a record of their arrival. Mei had thought to spend those hours with the map, but it was taking Roadhog forever to adjust it. He even needed a ruler to mark the correct areas, but he seemed to be content with the tedious task. Once they were up in the air and no longer needed to be buckled, Mei decided to make some tea and sit at the table with it. The pilots above on deck were quiet as they flew the airlift.

She was just imaging it, imagining the Outback and what it could be like. What she could do to make it habitable again, and become a proper society like how it had been twenty years ago. Twenty years was a long time for a land to go sour, but she was confident she could help it in some way. Maybe she could even help enough so that Jamison could have a home again. The home he apparently loved.

But then, would he stay there? Would he stay in Australia if it was finally good for him?

The thought was somehow… troubling.

“Mei.”

The man she’d just been thinking of called her name, and she looked up to see him scooting in next to her in the booth behind the table. Her cup of tea was hot in her hands as she watched him.

“I hate to get rid of the one thing that’s making you feel like yourself. It’s real pretty and shiny and all, but it needs to go.” Jamie then pointed to her hair.

Her snowflake hairpin. Mei reached up and touched it. “Oh. You’re right. I guess I’ll leave it here.” She removed it from her hair, and her brown locks fell to her shoulders. She blew her bangs out of her face. “I’ll see if there’s a rubber band somewhere.”

“No need, I took care of it. I made you something to replace it for now.” Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin brown leather band about a foot long. It had short gold spikes poking out of one side. “We’ll wrap your curls in this. Junkers are all about the spikes, and since you’ll be a pretend junker lady, I thought you should have some. Can I?”

Mei stared at the band, and then up at him. He’d even thought of her hair, and how she preferred it out of her face. She gave him a smile and nodded, turning her back to him so he could place it. “You’re the boss.”

He was oddly gentle with her hair as he gathered it all up, twisting it somewhat expertly and wrapping the leather band around, spikes out to gleam in the sun. She tried not to shiver when his fingertips brushed against her neck or behind her ears, or even when he tugged a bit on a lock or two. He snapped the band in place, and even smoothed out her bangs for her.

“There we go,” he said when he was finished. He pointed to a nearby mirror nestled on a shelf along with pictures of Hana and other ones of Angela and Torbjorn. “Rough ‘n tough lady, you are. Do you like it?”

“Yes,” she told him. Her hair was styled as it normally was in a bun, minus the pin and replaced with brown leather and small spikes. She turned back to Jamie as something fluttered a bit in her chest. “Are you sure you’re ready to go back home? It’s been awhile.”

Home, Jamison thought as he settled in next to her. Junkertown was home. The one he could remember. But were there other homes, other places? Suddenly he was wanting to know exactly how Roadhog was marking the map.

Was he ready to go back home? He only wanted the one he could remember.

“Yeah, darl, always ready for home.”

Somehow he felt he’d just lied to her, but the thought quickly fled his mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_The man called Dr. Boom when playing with his small son gripped the telephone in his large hand. When he wasn’t being called Dr. Boom by a rambunctious little boy, he mostly went by the name of Pop, another name given to him by his son when he first learned out to pronounce it correctly. It felt like it was his true name now, instead of the one his own parents had given him. The one he’d answered to his whole life before Jamison._

_But after Jamison, his name was Pop. And he discovered he preferred it._

_His true name, however, was Samuel. The name being beseeched on the other side of the phone. The name everyone in the Outback somehow needed now that the omnics were here to stay._

_“I’m sorry,” he said lowly into the phone, his shoulder eased into the wall of the kitchen and his head down. “I can’t go with you.”_

_“We need you, Sam. We need you with us.”_

_“I know. But I won’t go, I can’t. I have a kid. I’m all he has and I won’t bring him to stay with someone so I can meet you and possibly not come back for him. He’s more important than the bots.”_

_“Our country is what’s important. Without our land, your boy has nothing. You think I want to leave my girls? I’m doing this for them, so they still have a place to call home. You should reconsider. Those scrapheaps will destroy the Outback, and we need to stop them.”_

_Sam sighed, and scratched at his black beard. “Sorry, mate, you can’t budge me on this. My boy comes first, always has since the day he popped out of his mom. I’m not going. I’m staying here.”_

_It was quiet on the other end. Sam knew how these things went for people who decided to take a stand, a very dangerous stand. There were plans to destroy the Omnium in a land where humans wanted to be left alone, but he’d been dealing with people like the man on the phone for years now, and sometimes a guy became indifferent to what was happening in the world around him. He didn’t care about the bots and he didn’t care about the outrage. He’d already been through too much in life, and wanted only a peaceful place to be with his son. A place where his boy could grow up happy and secure and safe._

_But a guy also needed to pay his bills and feed that little boy._

_“Look,” Sam began, turning his head some to the nearby dining table where Jamison was eating his dinner and continuously kicking his feet underneath. Somehow his boy had gotten a smear of soup on his forehead. “I can’t go with you, but I can supply you. If you need firepower, I’ll write up a list and send you the goods. That’s what I do best, yeah?”_

_After a moment, the man finally uttered, “Yeah. I appreciate it, Sam, but we need hands more than guns and explosives.”_

_“Hope you find those hands. Mine need to stay here to care for my son. I would ask you to reconsider yourself for your wife and baby girl, but you seem like you’ve already made up your mind.”_

_“I have to do it. I have to get rid of the bots. You know my address.”_

_“Sure do, mate. Good luck.”_

_A week later and out in the front yard, the boy played happily. His knees and elbows were covered in scabs and his hands filthy from rolling around in the dirt. Glancing around, he saw their neighborhood quiet. Everything was quieter now that they’d built something where the robots lived. Everyone stayed inside their homes._

_The neighborhood was small, and maybe you couldn’t even call it a neighborhood in the middle of the Outback where there was more sand than grass and more sun than anything else. Just a row of old houses next to each other, another row parallel, and at the end was his own two story where only he and Pop lived. The boy felt like they were the leaders of the neighborhood because of that placement. Like two kings._

_He couldn’t remember his mom ever living in that house with them._

_In the quiet, he heard very soft scuffling. Looking down, he spotted a lizard on the ground, scurrying in the sand. The boy smirked and rubbed his dirty hands together. He would catch that lizard and show Pop how great a hunter he was, after Pop was done doing his special business._

_He lost track of time, and barely heard the lone car drive up to the yard and the door slam shut as the driver got out. He stopped chasing after the lizard and looked behind him to see a woman heading straight for him, one who looked awfully familiar. Her long blonde hair was the first thing he recognized._

_“Mom?”_

_“Jamie. Oh, Jamie, look at you.”_

_With tears already in her eyes, the woman fell to her knees in front of him and pulled him into a tight hug. She was a tall woman, but so very thin in a faded pink spaghetti-strap dress. He thought maybe if he stepped on her, she would crunch like an old stick. Her body was frail and her dress far too big on her frame, but she smelled familiar, she looked familiar. Even her voice was familiar to him, and he was quick to return the hug. It had been too long since he’d last seen his mother._

_“Mom, you’re here! I knew you’d come visit soon. I knew today would be a good day.”_

_“My boy. Oh, you’ve gotten so big. You still have my blond hair and brown eyes. You look nothing like your father, you look like me.”_

_The boy smiled big, a gap in his grin from his missing tooth. His mom covered his face in little kisses. “Look, my tooth fell out. And I was tryin’ to catch that lizard over there, he was a bit fast, but I’m faster! I woulda caught him for you, Mom.”_

_“Such a sweet boy. I missed you so much.” She rubbed his messy hair back and then patted his cheek. “I want you to tell me everything you’ve been up to. Where’s your dad?”_

_“He’s inside. How come you were away for so long? You were supposed to come to dinner last… Well, a bunch of nights ago.”_

_“I know, love, but I’ve been so busy. I’m going to get a job soon and then you can come stay with me too, how does that sound? You can have two homes.”_

_“Two homes? Holy dooley,” he gasped, placing a hand on his forehead. “What am I gonna do with two homes? I get two beds? Two of everything?”_

_“Yes, Jamie, two of everything. Soon, I promise. I just need a bit more time.”_

_His face fell then. Soon didn’t mean right now, and his mom always seemed to need time. Time that never really finished for some reason, and he wasn’t starting to lose track of it. But it was so good to see her. Finally. “I got a better idea, Mom. You can just come live here with me and Pop. You can sleep in my room with me. If I got two homes then I can’t always be with Pop either and… I need him.”_

_Their faces matched then, but instead of the disappointment he felt, she seemed far angrier, and it was instant. “You don’t always need him. I’m your mother, you should need me too. I’ve got an idea. How about you come stay with me for a while? How’s that sound?”_

_The boy blinked up at her, then shuffled a bit when she suddenly stood, grabbing one of his small hands. “Um…”_

_“We’ll have so much fun, Jamie, we can get treats and you can meet all Mommy’s friends and you can stay up all night. You’ll spend a few days with me, then I’ll bring you back home until I’m ready to have you all the time, what do you say? Come stay with Mom for a bit?”_

_“But Pop said—“_

_“I’m your mother,” she suddenly snapped, then took a breath and regained her smile. “It’s only right. He gets you all the time. I’ve got a fun place for us to stay. Let’s go now, you don’t need things, I’ll get things for you. I’ll call your father on the way. He won’t mind.”_

_He knew that wasn’t true, but this was his mom. Wasn’t she the boss too? Didn’t all moms make the rules? If Mom said Pop wouldn’t mind, then it had to be true, right?_

_Right?_

_With his small hand gripped firmly in his mother’s, Jamie automatically started following her to the car she’d driven up in. He didn’t feel right. Suddenly he felt like he wanted to cry and run to his house, but crying was for babies, and he wanted to see his mom. He just… didn’t want to leave Pop behind._

_He didn’t feel right without Pop._

_From inside the house, Sam had just finished straightening up the living room, dirty dishes in hand to toss in the sink. He’d just clicked off the phone as well. His work seemed to mostly consist of phone calls, but those constant streams of calls gave them a home and food on the table and clothes on his kid. Glancing up, he looked outside the front window to make sure Jamie was still playing safely._

_He froze._

_She was out there, with his son. His small hand in hers as she pulled him to the strange car parked on his property. Appearing out of nowhere, that was her way. Her way was also to make off with things that didn’t belong to her. Something she could easily break, or worse._

_Sam dropped the dirty dishes and ran for the door, his big footsteps loud and heavy._

_“Jamison!”_

_Jamie instantly turned and stared at him. He couldn’t possibly understand it because he was so young, but Sam knew his boy felt a bit of relief. He could see it plainly on his face, in a way only a parent could recognize. His ex-wife, on the other hand, glared across the yard at him and tightened her hold on their son._

_“I’m just taking him out for an hour, Sam,” she called out as the big man briskly came up to her._

_He ignored her and scooped Jamie up, prying his hand from his mother’s trembling grip. Jamie’s small arms instantly wrapped around his neck. Safe now. “Let’s get you inside, you still got your chores.”_

_“You can’t keep doing this to me,” she yelled, even stomping her foot in the dirt. “He’s my son too.”_

_“Go on, inside,” Sam said to Jamison, placing him on the ground and leading him into the house. He closed the door behind his boy after giving him instructions to stay put, then turned to the woman. He walked back up to her and spoke lowly. Of course Jamie would be trying to listen and all while he watched through the window. “Are you serious, Ari?” he hissed down at her. “You aren’t allowed to take him.”_

_“Why not? Why the hell not?”_

_“Because I say you can’t,” he roared, but kept it contained. He wouldn’t give any nosy neighbors or his son too much of a dysfunctional scene. But it was always a dysfunctional scene when dealing with Ari Fawkes._

_“He’s my son! I have just as much a right to have him as you do.”_

_“Do you now? Where have you been? Where have you been his whole life? That boy waits for you to come to dinner every fucking night, and he can only count on one hand how often you’ve done that. But I won’t tell my boy so young that his mother would rather chase every vice in the whole damn world than spend time with him.”_

_Her mouth closed tight and she breathed heavily through her nose, shuffling from foot to foot. “It’s your fault. You won’t let me see him.”_

_“I won’t let you see him because you abandoned him when he was baby and still needed you. I won’t let you see him because you didn’t show up until a year later, and disappeared again in two days. I’ve been caring for my son all by myself since the day he was born and I built this house for him and I have to watch him look out the window every night when he realizes once again that his mother isn’t coming to visit him.” He stopped and watched her shake. It was then he noticed how thin she was, how limp her hair was and how pale her face. She was a mess. Still. “What do you need him for, then? You wanted an hour, what were you gonna do with it?”_

_“I was just… I was going to show my friends—“_

_“Show your friends your cute ankle biter so they won’t throw you out after they discover you’ve been stealing from them? Or maybe get a handout from some bloke with a bleeding heart? Or maybe you need to make whatever dealer you’re shacking up with at the moment feel like your lives aren’t a shit storm?”_

_Her glassy brown eyes flared with anger. “How dare you. I’m his mother.”_

_Sam bent down close so she would hear every word. “You’ve used Jamison like that before. It’s the only time you ever come around. He’s just an asset to you.”_

_“I gave birth to him.”_

_“And that’s about the only right thing you ever did for him, Ari.”_

_“What about you, then?” she asked sharply, using what little strength she had to try to push him back some. She barely nudged the wall of muscle. “Like you’re a bloody angel. You sell weapons to anyone who will pay your price. I can only imagine how much firepower is tucked inside that house. You’re nothing but a goddamn warmonger.”_

_“My clients aren’t anyone.”_

_“They might as well be!”_

_Sam took a big breath, ran his large hands over his bald head. Somewhere in the ink on his arms was Ari’s name, a mistake made in a dark tattoo shop at two in the morning. He’d tried to forget that early time in their relationship, when he’d been stupid and easily manipulated by her once beautiful face. He was sure her name was somewhere near the skull on his shoulder, but he hadn’t looked for it in years._

_Before he opened his mouth again, Sam felt a slight tremble in the ground under his boots. It was quickly forgotten._

_“No matter what I’ve done, I’ve given my son a good life here. I make him breakfast every morning and I tuck him into bed every night. I taught him how to talk and how to count and how to read. I’ve never left him. Since the day the doc placed him in my hands as a baby, I’ve spent not one day away from him. And I can’t say the same for you. He’s my son, not yours. You want him for gains.”_

_“I’m his mother.”_

_“And I’m his father,” Sam said darkly. “You keep saying that, yet you show up to take him out for an hour once a year, until you get what you want, and then toss him back to me. I’m not letting you do that to him, Ari. He’s mine.”_

_He saw the rage in her face in the redness in her cheeks and furrowed brow and whooshing breath. He saw her need for vengeance, something he was familiar with, in her heated eyes and fisted hands and trembling shoulders. Once she’d been beautiful and wore his ring and they’d made a baby. And in what had felt like one, heartbreaking instant, she’d handed him their crying infant son and walked out the door, leaving him behind for a life he could never live with her. It was hard to see her in the flesh like it was hard to see her name inked into his skin._

_It was hard because she’d so easily left their baby, and had absolutely missed out._

_She snarled up at him, still so unafraid of his imposing size. The woman was fearless, but still so cowardly. “He’s gonna end up dead in that house with you.”_

_“He won’t, because he’s with me. Because I keep him safe. I would do anything for him. You can’t even stick around to watch him grow.”_

_“He’ll want to be with me one day,” she told him, even nodding a bit as if it were a certainty. She started backing away, towards her car to leave. It’s what she did best._

_He only folded his arms. “We’ll wait and see then. You’re not even gonna say goodbye to him, are you?”_

_“Fuck you, Sam,” she hissed through clenched teeth, then slammed the car door before peeling off._

_“Mom!”_

_Sam turned and saw Jamison running, his little feet kicking up dirt as he tried waving for her to stop. He didn’t go too far, he stayed near Sam, but he stood there as he always did when Ari left him. Disappointed and confused._

_He hated these moments. If Ari would just stay away, neither of them would have to endure them again._

_“I thought…” Jamie sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I thought today was gonna be a good day.”_

_With his arms still folded, Sam was trying to think of a very fatherly and wise thing to say to his son. He was just about to go to him, to scoop him up again and hold him tight. His mother may leave him, but he never would. Not ever._

_But he felt the tremble under his feet again. Bigger this time. And he heard a distant kaboom. Another knock in the land, this time big enough to make Sam sway and Jamie fall to his bottom._

_“Whoa,” the boy said, pushing back to his feet. “What was that, Pop?”_

_Something wasn’t right. It felt like a mixture of his intuition as a parent and the sense of a man who knew when trouble was close. They collided, and something wasn’t right. Sam spotted something off in the distance, far ahead of Ari’s car as she sped off in her rage. It looked like a storm, a rushing monster of a dust storm._

_It was so fast that he didn’t even have time to cover his son’s eyes as he watched that storm collide right into his mother’s car._

_“Mom!” Jamison yelled._

_Not a regular storm. Something different, something terrifying. Sam’s thoughts briefly thought of his phone call a week earlier. The rebel gang, the weapons he’d had delivered to them, the ambush. The Omnium._

_Their plan had been to destroy it._

_The storm, whatever it was, was coming right for them. Too fast for human feet to flee. There was no time for anything else._

_Sam dropped down to grab Jamison and shield him as the storm swallowed them all._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On the airlift, Jamie jolted awake from a very rare time of sleep. His breath was coming out fast and he felt the slightest layer of sweat on his body, but he also felt something else. Something heavy. His eyes landed on the big meaty hand resting on his shoulder.

“You’re okay,” Roadhog said simply and softly, the pig mask not even looking in his direction.

The airlift, going to Junkertown, the Outback. Mei. It all came back to him as he waited for his heart to stop hammering. He was just going to show her Junkertown from afar, show her a couple other places for her science and whatnots. That was all.

It would be fun.

Jamie spotted Mei staring through the window of the drop-down door of the airlift. The surrounding area outside told him they were in the process of landing, right on the grounds of the Outback. They’d made it. Standing and swaying a bit on his peg, he came to stand next to her, glancing down with the Outback in the reflection around them.

Mei was smiling with her little nose pressed against the glass. “It’s beautiful.”

Back home, back to Junkertown. And nothing else. He grinned with her.

“Today’s gonna be a good day, snowflake.”

 

 

**_To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two coming soon, I promise. Leave me a comment please! 
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> [My Tumblr](http://poisonous-angel.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://poisonous-angel.tumblr.com/)
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> If you have an idea for a one shot or just simply want to talk about Overwatch, come on by! More coming soon and don't forget to comment for inspiration! :)


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